masturbation

one good way to get over it is to simply remove all of the negative

connotations from it

I think its about time for Indians to stop absorbing and perpetuating

19th century Victorian morals, in which sexuality is a bad, dirty and

disgusting habit that is only necessary for procreation

masturbation is simply a way to explore one's sexuality, especially if

when you have no willing partner to share with!

for this age range, it all sounds perfectly normal to me, except that

it is being done with shame and guilt

so, ask them to do it with self-love and acceptance, its a way of

connecting with and exploring their sexuality and vital energies

if this is done, their perspective will change and it will cease to be

a "problem" unless somebody keeps telling them its a "problem," i.e.

the real issue isn't masturbation but the "issue" of masturbation

other than that, there are lots of interesting hobbies...

in my opinion there is no difference between the "issue" of

masturbation and any other similarly "moral" issue, such as

breast-feeding in public or letting little children run around on a

beach without clothes on, two things i know from personal experience

sometimes cause much consternation for others who have very confused

ideas about their bodies and what is appropriate

according to the 19th century text "King's American Dispensatory," a

preparation of Black willow catkins, as a homeopathic remedy or

tincture, is useful in "libidinous suggestions and lascivious dreams

terminating in pollutions…" and in "…extreme forms of sexual

perversion, satyriasis, erotomania, and nymphomania"

King's is a great book, but like all texts of the day were infected

with Victorian prudishness

FWIW

Caldecott

todd

www.toddcaldecott.com

> The first reason for this is lack of ojas- it is when ojas is

> depleted that uncontrollable passions arise.

how could that be?

in the schemata of dhatu metabolism a deficiency of ojas is secondary

to a deficiency of shulkla/andanu**

a sure fire way to deplete ojas is excess sexual activity

true uncontrollable, insatiable sexual passions would tend not arise in

a deficiency condition

most men achieve their height of sexual energy in in early adulthood,

for women its a little later - at these times the sex drive will be

strong, corresponding to an excess of the shukla/andanu dhatu

the biological imperative to have sex or engage in sexual activity at

this time is because it is then that a person has the best chance of

conception, the best chance of passing along their genes without the

damage or mutation that tends to occur with age

these young men are simply expressing a relative excess of sexual

energy, as most young men experience

** i prefer saying andanu (ova) over artava, since the ova are more

reflective of the fertility essence than menstrual blood - menstrual

blood may indicate ovulation (but not necessarily), but it is not a

fertile fluid - a misconception in the ayurvedic texts

>

> Brahmacharya is best attained when it comes as an effect; meaning

> that when hard work is engaged in, no toxins are present in the body

> and with proper elimination, it comes naturally without any strain or

> effort.

the question is whether or not brahmacharya is an even valid lifestyle

for most people aged 17-30

certainly this isn't supported by the concept of the four stages of

life in which brahmacharya (sannyasin) is the LAST aspect of life, when

we are old and that much closer to death, needing to free ourselves

from attachment and concern

brahmacharya seems to me to be an unnatural requirement for most young

men

>

> start at early age relieving sexual tension, ayurveda believes that

> one should find freedom from such habits. If practiced for long time,

i wonder where it is written in ayurveda that masturbation is wrong?

this from a culture that created massive monuments to sexuality, such

as found at Konark and Khajuraho, that created the kama sutra, that in

the tantric tradition represents gods and goddesses engaged in the

sexual act?

i'm not saying that these define Ayurvedic sexuality, but neither does

brahmacharya - there are many instructional passages in the Ashtanga

Hrdaya - the vaidyas on the list know well these R-rated passages...

Ayurveda talks about preserving ojas, and yes masturbation and any

sexual activity will deplete ojas (in men) if performed to an excessive

degree (women i am happy to say are traditionally exempt from such

restrictions)

but then so will anxiety, guilt and worry - i suggest to an even

greater extent

for these young men masturbation is a way to connect with the sexuality

- how will they have a satisfying sexual life - indeed, satisfy their

partners, if they don't learn about their own sexuality?

for concerns regarding premature ejaculation masturbation can be a

technique they use to learn how to control the urge to ejaculate -

something i am sure their future wives will appreciate - oh wait a

minute, a woman's need doesn't count for much in modern indian society,

so scratch that...

>

> deviation from the normal sex. The guilt feeling is the indicator of

> departure from normality. We are not discussing morality here.

guilt is a socially conditioned response - and this issue is very much

an issue of morals -

guilt is a totally useless emotion if it doesn't achieve a change in

behavior - the positive aspect of guilt is remorse - guilt is chronic

ineffectual remorse that achieves nothing

the behavior isn't being changed here, and thus a more thoughtful

approach needs to be taken

if these young men can't/won't stop then their guilt is harmful and

damaging - thus they may as well do it with self-love and compassion -

in the final analysis they are not hurting anybody or themselves

really, just like homosexuality or any other so-called "perversity"

when will love rule our hearts?

Caldecott

todd

www.toddcaldecott.com

Thank you for voicing these aspects of the topic.

Much appreciated.

In my opinion this is a much healthier and less damaging way of looking at such

a natural thing as sexuality, in the form of masturbation, or otherwise.

Radhika

far be it for me to be the poster boy for masturbation (a rather

awkward visual image), since i have better things to do (and am married

with three kids), but i did feel the need to address these points -

can't help it, i have my sun/mercury in aquarius :-)

***the issue was masturbation in young unmarried men that can't stop

themselves regardless of religious imperatives - thus points 2 and 3

are irrelevant

as for point #1, yes there is an actual loss of reproductive fluids,

however these fluids replenish themselves in less than 24 hours

recent data suggests that men who ejaculate more frequently have a

lower risk of prostatic disease, simply by clearing out the channels -

most healthy men if they admit or not will have nocturnal emissions if

they don't ejaculate regularly

#4 sounds to me like a pretty big stretch - by extension i guess any

act of visualization would cause this problem

i understand the concerns - on the one hand there is a puritanical

sex-negative view of the world, where sex is sin or dukkha (whether you

are xtian or hindu), and on the other there is media-hyped in-your-face

pubescent sexual hedonism; but between these extremes is loving

yourself and your body, and having a healthy and positive view of

natural sexual urges

>

> self-gratification has a depleting effect on the body for four reasons.

>

> 1. actual loss of reproductive fluids

> 2. no opposite energy with which the pranas can balance, no polarity

> is

> created

> 3. no emotional exchange between partners that has a harmonizing

> effect on

> the pranas

> and 4. to stimulate yourself it is necessary to imagine a situation,

> person

> or action. This act of imagination causes an imbalance between the

> prana

> that resides in the head and the Apana Prana that controls the sexual

> arousal of the genitals.

>

> Habitual self-gratification causes a lowering of overall pranic

> vitality and

> debilitates the kidneys with time and can in time cause a vata

> imbalance.

habitual (and excessive) sexual activity will cause this - its not

self-gratification per se

Caldecott

todd

www.toddcaldecott.com