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The way you see Kali is the true way my friend! She is a wonderful loving forgiving mother to us all. This is the way she actually is, and she will go through any length to defeat her enemies that harm her devotees. Her derived ferocious look is only to deter Evil and the human ego. The heart of the true devotee will see with the heart and not the eyes, and know that Kali Ma is beautiful and kind to all her children. One thing I think you should understand, however, is that Kali Ma pervades everything! Krishna, in the Mahabharata, worships this mother. The trinity Bramha, Vishnu, and even Shiva worships and falls before the feet of this mother. Kali Ma is the mother of all mothers. She pervades everything: from the entire macrocosm to the cellular level, even every tiny particle. She is within everything, as everything is within her. So, all the other froms of Gods derive from Herself! This is found if you read the book Devi Bhagavatam (which I highly reccomend). You do not necessairly need to worship the male devtas but you should at least respect them and acknowledge that they are part of mother, just like you and I and any living being is part of mother. The gods derive their power, their shakti, and their position from this same mother. Jai Kali Ma! Dasha Mahavidya Mantra (invoking the 10 forms of Kali Amma): Om Jayanti Mangala Kali Bhadra Kali Kapalini Durga Shama Shiva Dhatree Swaha Swadha Namasote