valaya

There is another way to use this herb other than smoking it, which has so many negative aspects. Marihuana butter can be made and consumed like any other medicine. The effects are more gradual, but steady. Smoking gives a quick buzz, possibly a brief `high`, then usually an energy drain. There is also the added benefit with eating the THC of it being much less expensive. Even the lowest grades can be used and nothing is wasted by incineration. I'd be happy to provide directions, if I can find the book, or maybe try to remember...

...and there's the sting, as usual! Oh well, can't say I didn't try...

...and in somecases when, though that's especially difficult to determine, isn't it? So easy to get sucked in only to be smashed. I'm sure you always mean well, prabhu, as do I. I firmly believe it will all work out in the next few lifetimes. We're after all just getting started with Lord Caitanya's Sankirtan Movement! valaya RR

The rules and regulations of vaidhi sadhana can be helpful and even necessary, but ultimately they must be transcended somehow or other if one is to wholeheartedly engage in raganuga bhakti as a follower of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Most of us are struggling somewhere in between. No, I do not think that you or your posts are `contaminated`. What I do hold important and in high esteem are vows taken to the spiritual master. As mentioned previously, I prefer to keep vows without making them rather than making them without keeping them. That puts us in two different situations, since I am not formally initiated while you are, but I consider neither to be any better/easier than the other. Nor do I wish to condemn devotees who in good faith and full sincerity took such vows, but now find themselves unable to maintain them. We must above all try to be honest with ourselves and each other, without attempting to establish a superior position at the expense of anyone else. After all, Lord Caitanya has a special concern for the most-fallen, does He not? Why then would we want to claim ourelves to be anything else but exactly that? valaya RR

What disturbed me was your post branding others, whose views happened to conflict with yours, as `slightly intoxicated`, so I used those same words sarcastically in my reply. So far as initiated disciples not maintaining their vows yet expecting to be treated as if they were, my opinions are clearly stated in my first post on the `Debate This` thread. Like Janus, I believe Prabhupada has invested himself in his disciples and more should be expected from them. Your personal situation continues to concern me, Bhaktivasya...you must know though how it hurt me when you stopped communicating personally and we were unable to meet as expected in August. The worst thing you can do for Hepatitus or any other disease of the liver is to consume drugs. Please believe me when I say it is only an addiction and overall cannot be considered helpful. I know of an African herb which has apparently shown amazing results, if you're interested. Your fighting spirit impresses me still, as it has from the start, whatever your politics may be. If you remember, my first post in reply to your `story` on VNN forums was, "Your spirit humbles me." That remains true, prabhu. valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-23-2001).]

This site looks great, jndas prabhu, but I don't know how to make it work. My computer asks me if I want to save or open the file. `Open` brings up `can't find file` and `save` asks me where. Do I need to place each kirtan, etc. on my hard drive before it can be heard? So many files to remember already! Please give detailed instructions for computer illiterates like me, if possible. Thanks.

Dear Satyaraja, you obviously continue to misinterpret where I'm coming from and my motives in posting what most prefer to keep to themselves. Of course, you are not alone in that! It is most difficult to communicate such personal matters to begin with, but perhaps impossible on these internet forums. It seems to me that the one essential ingredient required in this kind of intimate sharing must be empathy. What little I have myself has been born from appreciation within my own heart of the value gained from painful experiences. It seems the heart must break to grow! As for contrary reactions, not only must they be expected, but the true preacher has to be willing to take any negative reations onto himself/herself. Words may be cheap, as you well know, but real truth certainly is not... Yes, I am still a seeker, but my search has narrowed considerably and is now focused solely on Her, through His Divine Grace. That doesn't make it any easier, in fact quite the opposite. I believe it is possible and even necessary to share understanding and encouragement with each other without having to share the same faith or philosophy. We are, after all, one family in God, are we not? Why should individual circumstances or beliefs interfere with our partaking in that Divine Love which is our legacy and ultimate destiny? I simply recognize that Love as Srimati Radharani and ourselves as Her parts and parcels. valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-23-2001).]

Long as you wear that little French-maid outfit, JRdd, and keep repeating, "Moi spankez vous! Moi spankez vous!" Then again, you could always just skip my posts altogether, as you keep vowing to. Maybe stomping out of the forum again would be the best option. Of course, that never lasts very long, either. Reminds me of the guy who quit smoking--17 times so far! Anyway, you're kinda cute when you get angry, though not anywhere near as effective as when you share your past experiences amongst devotees from the early days. So many miss/missed those precious times and long for the nectar you alone can provide so artistically! It's obvious where your gentle heart is, prabhu, so why not stick with what you do best? valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-23-2001).]

Surely feeling gleeful while aware of others' misfortune and delighting in provocation is not the way of a devotee or a medical doctor, Satyaraja das prabhu. Please try and accept this as brotherly concern from one who often finds himself equally afflicted. valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-23-2001).]

To my mind, there are two types of `bleeding heart liberals`: those whose hearts truly bleed for the pain of others and those who actually cause others' hearts to bleed by perpetuating their pain, while sacrificing so little themselves other than cheap sentiments. It's the latter that I utterly disdain. valaya RR

These are somehow connected in your mind???

...and virtual should not be mistaken for reality!

So pass the `relish`, brother, I'm running out of condiments...

Lord Caitanya propagated raganuga bhakti in the form of harinam sankirtan. Building a religion out of vaidhi bhakti cannot possibly define, let alone confine, that One who is possessed by spontaneous Divine Love. Jai GAURANGA! Jai GAURANGI! valaya RR

I noticed you read and agreed with it, yet couldn't resist diving in here to dump your two cents worth...so what else is new? valaya RR

Maybe it's cause they're mostly pucilanimous...

Anyone want to jump on this?

When I respond to a particular post, I always include the quote or otherwise make it clear to whom I am replying. There were five other individuals who answered the original `Debate This` order issued from the High Priestess, M-dd. I was adding my two cents worth to the entire discussion thus far, not singling out her. That post from me and pretty well everything else I've ever written has been continually misinterpreted by this obviously fanatical malicious woman, due I think to wilful blindness and a compulsive need to faultfind some poor soul to the point of demonization. It being my turn, I guess, she actually spent hours sifting through the archives from this forum in search of what she believes to be conclusive evidence of my `guilt`, as an offender to God and guru. Really, I find it all quite unbelievable and a sad reminder of the confused desperation of some that refuse to move on in their spiritual life after the passing of the guru who initiated them. Why can't they accept the need for siksa when it is so prominent in the parampara from Srila Rupa Goswami? As for my supposed non-acceptance of Srila Prabhupada, that would have to include all others who did not receive formal initiation from him, because that is all I ever meant in my posts. In fact, I agree with the initial post on this thread, but the highly confrontational manner in which she promotes her guru actually accomplishes the opposite of what one would think is desired. Indeed it seems that she is not only out to assert Srila Prabhupada as the one and only bonafide guru, but herself as his one and only genuine follower! Then, when her attacks on others come back on her to the extent where she can no longer defend the ridiculous position she first put herself into, she goes off to regroup for the next hapless victim. This is the established pattern and modus operandi of M-dd, the self-appointed forum High Priestess from VNN; where BTW I often supported her and bent over backwards to try and understand her personality. Recently, I ran into an old friend of hers who used to post on that forum herself who was kind enough to fill me in on a few details as to why they were no longer friends. So I'm well aware now of who I am dealing with... Some may have noticed that I go out of my way to relate personally with other forum members, including inviations to exchange Emails and even phone calls. While many may suspect otherwise, it's because I try to care about everyone here that is a regular contributor, so long as I sense some sincerity. Being unable to take sides, or sympathizing with all sides at once, is not an especially comfortable perspective most of the time, especially when under attack from all directions simultaneously. My vision is that we are all one in Krsna as part and parcel of the internal potency, Sri Radha. That makes us Her children, not those of any one guru. Perhaps I'll feel differently after initiation, which I'm sure will come about quite naturally, without my imperfect senses having to choose one faction over another. I've resigned myself to waiting on Radha-Krsna in my heart for that, because surely they know what's best for me more than I ever could. Meanwhile, I try to see myself as the insignificant servant of all, not simply vaisnavas. I'm truly sorry that my own experiences are not very helpful here and telling them, while attempting to explain how I interpret everything in light of the scriptures, is considered offensive by many. I can't claim to be your ever well-wisher, not yet anyway, but I'm sure not anyone's ill-wisher either. valaya RR

This thread has been here eleven days without a single reply other than mine, which don't count, except in a negative way of course. Methinks Her `Highness` was too busy elsewhere, with venom not nectar, but that seems to be her nature, doesn't it? I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong in this regard...at no point did I criticize Her personally, and certainly not in such a maliciously vindictive way, until she zeroed in exclusively on me, even threatening to use all her powers to cast destructive spells, etc. etc. Her words and mine speak for themselves. The one big difference, though, is that I am not an initiated disciple of Srila Prabhupada, nor do I claim to even be a devotee, so it is not I that should be expected to act like one. If anyone disagrees with what has been said here by anyone else, the choice is always there to ignore the post or discuss it in a rational manner. Vicious vitriolic personal attacks and demonizing should not be an option on `Spiritual Discussions` threads within a devotee forum. A very few here appear to know no other way, unfortunately. They should therefore not be surprised when their no-holds-barred down-and-dirty tactics lead to direct reciprocation in kind. Feigned indignation and pointing of blame on the one originally provoked, with the sole intention of exposing so-called `anti-Prabhupada demons`, really won't cut it here. We've seen it all before, Priestess and I doubt if any of the regular posters here can be fooled by such antics anymore. valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-21-2001).]

I remember one time being in a crowded elevator behind Ishan prabhu. It was dead silent in that kind of nervous elevator-type atmosphere, except for Ishan chanting his japa rapidly non-stop, glancing up at each of us now and then with this strangely furtive wild-eyed look. Just before the doors opened onto the ground floor, after a long ride down with many stops and still no one saying a word except for Ishan and his non-too-soft staccato japa, he suddenly turned towards the packed elevator and, fidgeting about, mumbled apologetically, "I'm sorry, but if I don't keep doing this I'll go crazy!" That was back in the very early seventies, I guess, and the look in his eyes told us he meant it! valaya RR

I remember one time being in a crowded elevator behind Ishan prabhu. It was dead silent in that kind of nervous elevator-type atmosphere, except for Ishan chanting his japa rapidly non-stop, glancing up at each of us now and then with this strangely furtive wild-eyed look. Just before the doors opened onto the ground floor, after a long ride down with many stops and still no one saying a word except for Ishan and his non-too-soft staccato japa, he suddenly turned towards the packed elevator and, fidgeting about, mumbled apologetically, "I'm sorry, but if I don't keep doing this I'll go crazy!" That was back in the very early seventies, I guess, and the look in his eyes told us he meant it! valaya RR

Yet another wonderful opportunity to share Krsna-katha with all the Gaudiya vaisnava devotees on this forum... What, still no takers? Isn't this the `higher taste` that devotees `take great satisfaction in` and `always enjoy discussing amongst themselves`? Is anyone out there? Maybe the preferences of devotees here lie elsewhere, or are they simply unable to relate Krsna's pastimes to their personal lives? Methinks they are selfishly keeping the real nectar to themselves! Then again, perhaps the `higher taste` is just not there at all! Anyone casually looking into this forum might be forgiven for thinking so, wouldn't you say? My humble opinion is that many are intimidated, because they know from past experience what happens to those who share their hearts here. I had hoped that my own fumbling attempts might encourage and inspire the devotees, but it seems I've only opened myself up as a target for criticism if not outright demonizing. Since I am still not an initiated disciple of any guru and do not consider myself a Gaudiya vaishnava, perhaps that makes me fair game for those who are always anxious to faultfind, while remaining fearful of committing apaRADHA by offending those whom they define as devotees. If I should sound bitter and even disgusted, yes those feelings are certainly there; but mostly I'm disappointed by how this amazing internet forum facility is being used, when I know in my heart how it could be and what we should be for each other. Guess it's all only another computer video game to play with, eh? It could be called `Fun With Fools`, `Wittier Than Thou`, `How Clever Are We`, `Watch Me Now` or maybe `Virtual Masturbation`, anything but `Audarya Fellowship`... Anyway, I'm hoping against hope that this post will be taken as a serious challenge for us all to become more real with each other, as opposed to philosophical/political or whatever other means we employ to distance ourselves from the true reality of discussing our Krsna-consciousness and establishing a deeper, more meaningful level together. Nor do I mean merely tossing out quotes without including at least some relevant personal realization as well, personal being the keyword. valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-21-2001).]

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Originally posted by M-dd on `World Review` under Debate Almost Fatal topic (10-18-01): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, right...cute like a self-righteous little girl trying to usurp her father's power by attempting to walk in his shoes, rather than actually follow in his footsteps. Her High Priestessness banishes his other children and anyone else that refuses to accept, or dares have the audacity to challenge, her supposed authority, off to their `hellish` rooms. Twisted little sister, you are neither mother or father, nor are you in any position to criticize anyone for their personal relationship with God and/or guru. `Poisonous and disgusting association` just may be in the poisoned and disgusting eyes of the beholder. In my own humble opinion, Krsna-consciousness means exactly that and practice makes perfect. valaya RR [This message has been edited by valaya (edited 10-21-2001).]

Guess this is what passes as sankirtan these days for some of Srila Prabhupada's (slightly intoxicated) initiated disciples...

Only jndas can delete posts here. If you want to Email me, do it soon because what little mercy I have left is quickly dwindling. You have not posted your Email address. valaya RR