This is a question that will take awhile to explain.
I've just recently found the KC movement and it makes great sense to me in every way, and I want to try and prioritize my life to make the most spiritual advancement possible realizing that time shouldn't be wasted.
Some particulars to begin with:
I'm 45, married for the past 22 years, and we have 3 children, girl 21, boy 19, girl 17. Our marriage has been a struggle and it seems that it may always be this way...'enjoy what there is to enjoy, and suffer what there is to suffer'....is the basic attitude at times.
Anyway, the dilemna we're in now is this: My wife and I have very different views on what is really important, it seems. She seems to be perfectly content to continue to live the 'American Dream'(uh, er nightmare /images/graemlins/smile.gif), and I'm ready to make big changes and dedicate and devote my life to God.
This isn't a whim, and I don't think it's escapism either. This is something that I've been seeking for the past 20 years or so. I've covered a lot of territory in finding KC, everything from Christianity, to Zen, to Sai Baba, to Rajneeshism, to Sivananda, Wiccan, Unity,Scientology, etc.
It appears that my wife has ZERO interest in spiritual advancement.....and that's fine....I'm long past the point of trying to 'talk her into religion'.
So, to make the best progress personally, and for my family, I think that I may have to make the decision between my wife, family and Krsna, very soon.
I realize that it seems selfish in one way, but I also realize that it might be doing everyone a huge service to become involved 100% in my spiritual advancement.
Here are some other considerations, astrologically I have the same lagna as Prabupada(capricorn)...what seems difficult for others, namely the 4 regulative principles etc, are generally easy for me to implement(strong Saturn).
Furthermore our marriage has been very tough on all of us and maybe the best thing for all of us is that my wife go her way, and I do what's most important to me.
My question is this:
Will it hurt my family more to stay, and be constantly pulled and lulled into the materialistic lifestyle, or is it in my best interest and the best interest of my family to TOTALLY dedicate myself to KC and even move to New Vrnd. or to some other KC location?
Any comments or thoughts are appreciated. Feel free to ask ANY questions, I'm ready to truly make a commitment and I don't want to dabble or be superficial in my approach to KC....I understand that a half-hearted approach leads no where.