Actually by reading Srila Prabhupada's books you are already initiated as his disciple, you *have* a bonafide spiritual master.... Srila Prbahupada himself says that the initiation ceremony is CEREMONIAL, true initiation begins when knowledge of Krishna is awakaned
as for full Krishna consciousness that means always being aware of Krishna in every situation at every moment
some clues to help you along the way:
#1. when you begin to see how things that previously seemed different are actually the same, know you are on your way to full Krishna consciousnes...then...
#2. giving and receiving will become one emotion, one action, and understood to be non-different....
#3. you will never experience prema until you give your love to Him (because giving and receiving are the same)
#4. lust=WANTING, love=GIVING
#5. to give your love to Him you must remember how...chanting Krishna, reading Krishna, hearing Krishna, etc, will remind you (and it's not some technical process, it's an awakenance of remembrace you feel in your heart, where the soul rests)
#6. you must suffer so that all attachment to finite things will wither away...do not inflict this suffering on yourself, but consider yourself blessed if Krishna takes everything away from you
#7. the truth can only be understood in love, not by any logic/reasoning...don't worry...it will come
#8. Krishna knows how much you can handle and how much you can't... sometimes a little comes at a time, sometimes none, and sometimes you get a brick thrown at you /images/graemlins/smile.gif
#9. you have to force yourself to ignore your passions when a situation arises and you become emotional... try to look at the situation with an even-mind and chant the holy name
#10. above all, remember that EVERYTHING comes from Krishna and it's only your perception that is thwarted by lust...you are just an observer travelling on the wings of your perception
Jai Sri Krishna Govinda Hare Murari Hey Natha Narayana Vasudeva