Guest guest Posted October 16, 2000 Report Share Posted October 16, 2000 Dear Jerry, I read your post below on anger the day you wrote it but did not have time to respond. I thought about it all weekend. When you were angry with Jan, I thought that was uncharacteristic. But I don't think there is anyone on this list, Jan included, who is not aware of the difficult things you have been through of late, and the inclination of myself and I am sure everyone on the list it to bear with you in loving support. It is good that we have a place in this satsangh to open up to our difficulties and get a bit out of control when necessary and know this is a safe place to do it. You remember how hot and hostile things used to get on the K list a year or so ago, the raging arguments? It drove a number of people off the list regularly. One of the beautiful things about this group, , is the close, supportive community Harsha has nurtured through his love and affection for us all. He makes us all feel that we are close to his heart and our well being is a central concern. This kind of supportive, communicative feeling grew enormously after the retreat some lucky members took this summer; it has been a pleasure to watch that grow. I was reading Pema Chodron's book, The Wisdom of No Escape last night. In it she spoke of the sangha (below) and I thought of you, Jerry, and the opening up we saw you go through in your post. We all think of you with love and support, even when you are real pissed off. "Taking refuge in the sangha means taking refuge in the brotherhood and sisterhood of people who are committed to taking off their armor. If we live in a family where all the members are committed to taking off their armor, then one of the most powerful vehicles of learning how to do it is the feedback that we give one another, the kindness that we show to one another." All the best to you, Jerry, Jill ______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________ () Anger Author: "GCWein1111" <GCWein1111 at OFFICE 10/12/00 1:50 PM As l'm sure some noticed, l had a nasty exchange with Jan a couple days ago. That is, as least, my part was nasty. And l've been reflecting on it ever since. Of course, l regret this, but there are feelings that have made it difficult to say anything. l have been relatively silent on the list in order to focus more on my process. l've buried alot of people lately. With each loss l've felt more aware of a sense of time passing and of my deep frustration as a result of the physical effects of k. lt's about more than dreams dying, which is hard enough. lt's about how small my life feels; about how minimal its impact has been on the world around me. l'm a little embarrassed to be talking about this, because everyone has paid a price in order to be where they are. l'm not complaining, and l'm aware that l'm only talking about one aspect of a vast realm that makes discussing my pain seem silly at best. But the wound is nevertheless real and deep, and that's what caused me to respond the way l did. When it feels like someone is assuming the role of teacher and being condescending to me about my process without knowing me or my situation in depth, l feel like grabbing them by the throat and strangling them. lt's the last thing l want from anyone. l've been thru it too many times. Compassion is good. Respect is better. The rest is secondary to me. l don't even know Jan -- don't even know for certain how the words were intended - -- only how they felt to me. So this is probably more about me than anyone else -- and is an attempt to briefly explain my reaction, not to justify it. Generally, l make an effort not to offend people on any list in which l'm a member. l particularly regret that it happened here, where Harsha has done so much to create an atmosphere of congeniality. Anger is often helpful to me in breaking thru barriers. l'd like to get back to focusing on using it for that, rather than upsetting others. Hope this helps a little. love, jerry -------------------------- eGroups Sponsor -------------------------~-~> Beliefnet- Religion and spirituality from A to Z. http://click./1/9039/9/_/520931/_/971373021/ --> // All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights, perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a. To from this list, go to the ONElist web site, at www., and select the User Center link from the menu bar on the left. This menu will also let you change your subscription between digest and normal mode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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