hair shirt

[Guest guest]

, leteegee@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 10/19/2000 3:34:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

> Mystress@k... writes:

>

> > Excellent. That is what I want to know. How do I peel off this damn

> > hair shirt? I've spent much of this year trying to figger that one out,

> how

> > to get rid of the excessive psychic empathy that makes me go berserk.

> > Getting into arguments with my inner child who is a little Christian

> > schoolgirl who thinks suffering and martyrdom are good. She is very

> stubborn.

> > ..

> > Greetings to all..

>

> Flaloha Lovely Lady...

>

> This has been one of my great dilemmas. I found it came from not being

who I

> am. When we are not being who we are, we can't help but want to be some

> 'body'. The suffering, the desires, the empathy are all keys that we

are not

> 'being'. Once we are 'being', all suffering, desires, and empathy,

cease to

> exist.

>

> To 'be' requires not that we give up our desires, but that we begin being

> that desire itself. Where there is being, there can be no wanted desires,

> nor unwanted suffering.

>

> Love you lots,

> xxxtg

 

Thankyou, Teegee.. at present I am not suffering.. I have been stuck

in the witness state for the better part of a month. That is about how long

my eyes have been itchy allergic and weeping so much I have had to give up

on contact lenses.

I like the witness state, it has many advantages.. it is very peaceful,

there is no suffering. It allows me to do things that usually would drive

me bananas with boredom, like fall cleaning... but it is also completely

lacking in passion. Zombie.

 

For me the Witness state is tied into an ADD detachment reflex.. pain

or any emotional intensity knock me out of body into the Void. I have made

good use of this tendency as a healer. When I feel someone's pain or

troubles I'm knocked into a place where there is wisdom, insights and power

to do something about it to help them so I can come back into my body.

Empathy as coercion to compassionate action.

 

Sometimes the intensity gets too much and the Goddess connection goes

down.. then body goes off on it's own berserker to remove the source of the

pain, sometimes ending friendships to escape the pain of empathy. Alpha

wolf chewing it's leg off to escape a trap.. because it's hard for me to

heal my own body if I'm not in it.

The witness watches knowing this too, shall pass...

This time I've gagged the alpha wolf, turned it inward seeking to chew

off the empathy itself.. So I'm seemingly stuck here in the peaceful apathy

of nothingness... while my body weeps tears I have been blaming on an

allergy to house dust...

This too, shall pass.. I'm off for the weekend.. hope everybody has a

good one!