being/not-being (longish)

[Guest guest]

I've been thinking about teegee's wonderful insight last week (on HS) about

Being wanting to be attached to a body and how this can sometimes lead to

excessive and painful empathy. Yesterday I read this in The Web That Has No

Weaver: "The Consciousness of Potentials (Yi) [an aspect of Spirit] ... has

the task of enabling and supporting new manifestations to come into being.

Because the Yi is insightful, it can understand others and be generous and

extremely aware of the needs of other people and situations ... If Yi lacks

intactness, instead of creative possibilities a person will experience worry,

confusion, exaggerated sympathy ... or uncontrolled and even self-destructive

generosity."

 

Almost exactly 2 years ago, I had my first, emphatic, explosive, amazing and

joyful experience of the non-existence of the small "me." This came after

nearly 3 years of kundalini arousal. Like so many, I'd thought the

realization would by itself transform me into a perfect jewel of a human

being but, alas, this was only the beginning! Especially the the past few

months, my increasingly sustained experience of non-duality has been

punctuated by perfectly miserable episodes of re-experiencing all the grimier

and messy emotions of my psychological history -- most particularly and

notably those that have to do with not feeling entitled to exist. It finally

dawned on me

(my stubbornness makes me slow) that of course the realization of not-being

would hit the human psyche like a tidal wave and in some cases the subsequent

integration and metamorphosis would be tedious and painful. I feel great

compassion on the part of Whomever designed us this way that I would be

forced to fully honor my beingness at the same time that I recognize that the

small me is not here at all! Having Yi that leaks like a sieve, my tendency

has been to try to accelerate myself into no-me-ness for psychological

reasons and now I'm being told clearly "no, no, you take care of being the

fullest you that you can be, and I'll take care of showing you who you really

are." What a relief, as you can imagine! Love, Holly

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/31/00 12:47:36 PM Mountain Standard Time,

colette writes:

 

<< And in a sense I really loved

reading what Almaas has to say on this. >>

 

Thanks so much for your response, Colette. Could you direct me to where I

might read Almaas (a book? the web?). I appreciate it. H.

[Guest guest]

, Hbarrett47@a... wrote:

> I've been thinking about teegee's wonderful insight last week (on

HS) about

> Being wanting to be attached to a body and how this can sometimes

lead to

> excessive and painful empathy.

 

Or resisting the Being's body & emotions, can be suffering too. I

relate what you say, to coming back to clean up the cell memory

consciously. Resistance is dualistic.

>

> Almost exactly 2 years ago, I had my first, emphatic, explosive,

amazing and

> joyful experience of the non-existence of the small "me." This came

after

> nearly 3 years of kundalini arousal. Like so many, I'd thought the

> realization would by itself transform me into a perfect jewel of a

human

> being but, alas, this was only the beginning!

 

Wow, yes, After the Ecstasy then the Laundry. I love that book by Jack

Kornfield.

 

Especially the the

past few

> months, my increasingly sustained experience of non-duality has been

> punctuated by perfectly miserable episodes of re-experiencing all

the grimier

> and messy emotions of my psychological history -- most particularly

and

> notably those that have to do with not feeling entitled to exist.

 

I understand.

 

 

It finally

> dawned on me

> (my stubbornness makes me slow) that of course the realization of

not-being

> would hit the human psyche like a tidal wave and in some cases the

subsequent

> integration and metamorphosis would be tedious and painful.

 

 

Yes.

 

I feel

great

> compassion on the part of Whomever designed us this way that I would

be

> forced to fully honor my beingness at the same time that I recognize

that the

> small me is not here at all! Having Yi that leaks like a sieve, my

tendency

> has been to try to accelerate myself into no-me-ness for

psychological

> reasons and now I'm being told clearly "no, no, you take care of

being the

> fullest you that you can be, and I'll take care of showing you who

you really

> are." What a relief, as you can imagine! Love, Holly

 

Yes Holly. Even self negating thought patterns can be present after

silent Self, is awoken to. I believe that's when we learn to love the

Self (or else suffer the consequences!). And in a sense I really loved

reading what Almaas has to say on this. He says that Realisation is

one thing, but then integrating the personality comes after. He calls

that actualistion. One might say that this is when the personal

history is loved into dissolution from the vastness of unconditioned

Being - a conscious facing of what the thought patterns have been,

which have scripted suffering in your own life. Learning to

unconditionally love yourself, allows us to express it to others who

are a reflection of the Self. If we have that horrid stuff still

unconscious in the psyche then it causes mischief. Making it conscious

is well on the way to healing.

 

Even when we wake to pure consciousness, we still have a body form

with its memory to love into a fresh acceptance of simply abiding

rather than scripting from past habituated thought patterns. That's

why I was sharing with Tony to accept & love the Self (ALL of the

self) as worthy of living, for it is All the One. Do you think that

God is not the body? It's suffering if you do not clean up your

thoughts into Self love. Love is silent & unifying.

 

Now some do not think this is what Ramana meant, but there is a friend

at advaitin list called Frank Maiello (of egodust website) who is well

versed & devoted to Ramana, & feels that this message (of It's All the

Self ~ the whole universal play & beyond) is Ramana's message. I may

share some of Frank's stuff soon. Harsha somethimes does here. Frank

is at present writing something more on this topic now, as he feels as

I do, that it's such an important message.

 

We are forced to face all our thought patterns consciously, so we can

learn to be responsible for what we create.

 

Unlike Tony I do believe that the psyche is directly & intimately

connected to the silence of the Being. (It's all the same One).

 

Thanks for sharing something so sensitive,

 

With Respect,

 

Col

[Guest guest]

, Hbarrett47@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 10/31/00 12:47:36 PM Mountain Standard Time,

> colette@b... writes:

>

> << And in a sense I really loved

> reading what Almaas has to say on this. >>

>

> Thanks so much for your response, Colette. Could you direct me to

where I

> might read Almaas (a book? the web?). I appreciate it. H.

 

Holly I understand exactly what you are talking about. It seems a

common thought pattern that gets indoctrinated into the mind during

socialisation (into worthlessness & less than:-) And yet we are

existence Itself. Funny isn't it?

 

I will try to find a link & some quotes for you. Almaas is a Sufi who

is also a psychologist.

 

He has written the Pearl Beyond Price for example (which is what we

Are:-) He speaks of the essence (the essential Self) & the conditioned

version of 'not self' we play as.

 

Be back later,

 

Col

[Guest guest]

In , Hbarrett47@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 10/31/00 12:47:36 PM Mountain Standard Time,

> colette@b... writes:

>

> << And in a sense I really loved

> reading what Almaas has to say on this. >>

>

> Thanks so much for your response, Colette. Could you direct me to

where I

> might read Almaas (a book? the web?).

 

Hi Holly. Yes here is the passage that I first stumbled across which

led me to read more from Almaas ..

 

He calls it The Clarification of the Personality.

 

"Many spiritual teachers describe their experience of realization as

if they suddenly became realized and the personality just died, or

fell away. So it is understandable that you might fantasize that one

day you will finish your meditation and there will be no personality

left. This idea of enlightenment or self-realization is misguided,

although it is true that you can experience sudden revelations or

insights that can change the rest of your life. My perception of what

happens with people who claim to have lost their personality totally

and spontaneously is that there often remains a split-off or

suppressed part which will manifest as a distortion or a lack of

integration. This means that there has been an essential realization,

but the realization has not clarified the personality. It is, rather,

a state of transcendence of the ego personality. If the personality is

abandoned rather than integrated, the totality of life cannot be

lived.

 

It is here http://www.ridhwan.org/clarpers.html & there is much more

there. Beautiful insights on Transcendence & Embodiment & talk about

disembodied awareness, or grounding into embodied awareness through

integrating the personality & not abandoning the habituated patterns &

issues, through just witnessing from a distance, but by facing &

healing them so that all form can be free :-) In that way they are

unified back into light.

 

Bye now,

 

Colette

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much to both Holly and Colette for the quotes and link. Exactly what I

needed to see at this time, still speechless..more later perhaps.

 

With love,

Gloria

 

--------

[Guest guest]

((((Gloria))) huggies,

 

luv,

 

Col

 

In , "Gloria Lee" <glee@i...> wrote:

> Thanks so much to both Holly and Colette for the quotes and link.

Exactly what I

> needed to see at this time, still speechless..more later perhaps.

>

> With love,

> Gloria

>

> --------