My intro to this group

[Guest guest]

SCHIZOID TALK

Sunday, 05 November 2000

 

Hi. My name is Ivan and I am a schizophrenic.

No human vices or virtues are unknown to me.

 

I am not here to justify my madness,

I am here to express it, if I may.

 

There is

some violence in my love,

some clarity in my confusion,

much stupidity in my cleverness,

much wisdom in my folly,

some subtle lies in any truths I may ever think or utter,

a degree of sanity even in my deepest madness,

a lot of sorrow even in my greatest joys,

some fullness in my emptiness,

total darkness even in the brightest light,

and a deep silence in all the noises I make…

 

If you think this is very confusing

"wait' until you meet my alter-ego –

"he" is exactly the opposite to all of the above-mentioned nonsense

and "uses" the very same name and body-mind.

 

You may not always be able to see and tell what's happening,

the tug of war in this body and mind called Ivan,

but "I" can.

 

One part of the whole truth is that

"I" am not my name, body, emotions, or mind,

or any other names or properties

ascribed to "me" by "me", or by "you"…

 

The other part of the whole truth is that

I am all of the above,

these are all just different names, labels and aspects of "me",

and the different roles "I" play,

but I am also much "more" (or perhaps less?)

than all those names, labels, aspects, and roles I play…

 

I am none and all of what is happening,

and also the awareness of all that is happening.

 

Do you think you can hurt "me" with your words?

Think again.

 

Do you think you are different from "me"?

See deeper, beyond all appearances.

 

Maybe one day "we" meet here as One.

And that "one day" is already here, right now,

eternally.

 

What are you still waiting for?

For a better "me" or better "you" to emerge,

or better "time" or "place" to meet?