Who Am I? - part 2 - Ivan, Amanda, Mark

[Guest guest]

So you say, it is not by body, it is not my mind, it is not my organs, it is

not my thoughts, it is not my world, it is not my universe, it is not the

animals, or the trees, or the moon, or the sun, or the stars, it is not any

of those things. When you've gone through everything and there's nothing

left, that's what it is. Nothing. Emptiness. Nirvana. Ultimate Oneness.

 

Anyway, I explained these four principles to all the bodhisattvas and

all the mahasattvas. Then we sat three hours in meditation and they got up

and walked back into the forest. Then there was a flash of light, and I

opened my eyes.

 

What do you think of that? Any questions?

 

Q: Was it a dream or a vision, and how do you distinguish between the two?

 

R: Well, I don't really know, to tell you the truth. I'm usually aware of

what's going on, so all the time I was aware of the vision/dream's taking

place.

 

Q: Including this time.

 

R: Yes, I realized I was doing all these things. It was like I was

watching everything taking place. But there was never a time when I actually

became the dream or the vision.

 

Q: Or felt totally caught up in it? You were always observing.

 

R: Right. I was always observing. But it was like an omni­present

observer. So that's the teaching. That's how you tell when you're getting

close to self realization.

 

So, do you remember the four principles? Why don't you repeat them for those

who came late?

 

Q: I don't think I remember the four.

 

R: I think they're very important to remember. Which ones do you remember?

(The students struggle with trying to remember the principles). See how easy

we forget? (more struggle, and something close to the first one). That's

right. The whole universe is a manifestation of the mind. Everything. You've

got to feel that and know it's true.

 

Q: As long as we're identified with the body or the mind, then we're not

very far off.

 

R: Exactly. You're part of the world.

 

Q: Then how do you say the first one?

 

R: The first one is that everything, and I mean everything, the mineral

kingdom, the vegetable kingdom, the animal kingdom, the human kingdom,

everything your senses show you, is an emanation of the mind. You're

projecting a picture, just like you project a moving picture, and everything

you see right now, in this room, comes from your mind. You may say, "How can

we collectively see the same thing?". That's because of the habit energy that

we're brought up in. So collectively we seem to be seeing the same thing, the

same picture.

 

That's number one. What's number two? Who can tell me? (students try to

remember)

 

R: That's right. We're not born. We have no existence. In between the time

we're born and when we die we really have no existence. And we do not die.

There's no disappearance.

 

Q: So how would you summarize it? That we are non-existent, or that we

have no beginning and no end?

 

R: Both are right. We have no cause.

 

Q: So you're saying that existence implies a relative cause, and existence

only takes place in a relative world, and we're not really a part of that.

 

R: Yes, exactly.

 

Q: And non-existence?

 

R: Non-existence also does not exist.

 

Q: But then couldn't you say the mind doesn't exist. I mean you say that

everything that exists...

 

R: Nothing that you can explain exists.

 

Q: But earlier you said that everything emanates from the mind.

 

R: Yes. You're projecting the picture.

 

Q: But then you have a mind.

 

R: You don't have a mind.

 

Q: I think he means everything in the earth plane world.

 

R: In the relative world. In reality there's no mind. That's how the

picture appears. The mind projects the whole universe. So if you get rid of

the mind, there's no universe. We have to kill the mind. And the whole

universe in annihilated, because it's the mind that projects the universe,

and tells us all these stories.

 

Think, for a moment, of all the problems that you believe you have. Think of

what's bothering you. You can tell me your story for four hours. This is

wrong and that's wrong. It's all a projection of the mind. So by getting rid

of the mind, everything stops, and beauty and joy and bliss ensue. But you're

covering the beauty and joy and bliss when you worry, when you fear, when you

think something is wrong someplace. So that's precept number 2. What's number

3?

 

Q: Egoless.

 

R: Right. Everything is egoless. Not only human beings, but everything.

Mountains, trees, the sun, nothing has an ego. That means it has no

existence. So where did it come from? When you have a dream, where does the

dream come from? Same place. From nowhere. From false imagination.

 

Q: I don't understand the expression "false imagination", because the word

imagination implies a certain falsity.

 

R: You're imagining a false world and a false ego.

 

Q: That's sort of a paradoxical saying.

 

R: Sure. It's all paradoxical. Because it doesn't exist. But that's how we

imagine it. This is the reason I always go back to the sky is blue. Somebody

takes me outside and says, "Look at the beautiful blue sky". And I agree with

them, but I know deep inside that that's not true. There's no sky and there's

no blue. It doesn't exist. Or the oasis in the desert. The water. It doesn't

exist. It's a mirage. The world's the same thing. The universe only exists in

the dream state. It's like a dream. Now what's the fourth precept? What's

number four?

 

Q: It has something to do with "we are nothing".

 

R: (laughs) Everything has to do with that. But it's actually to have an

understanding, and a deep realization, of what Self Realization of Noble

Wisdom is.

 

Q: And how is noble wisdom defined from regular wisdom?

 

R: It's the same thing. Just more wordy. It's a Buddhist expression.

 

Q: They have all these real long expressions. And then they always say

what it is.

 

R: The eight-fold path. And then they take years explaining it. But when

you get into the highest teaching there's nothing. So the fourth one is, the

only way to know what self realization is, is by knowing what it is not. And

whatever is left, that's what it is. So you say it's not the body, it's not

the mind, it's not my organs, it's not my thoughts, it's not the world, it's

not the sun, it's not the universe, it's not God, it's not creation, and you

go on and on and on. When you get out of breath and out of words, that's it.

 

Q: Is that what the expression "neti, neti" means?

 

R: Yes.

 

Q: Is it boring? If all that goes away and there is nothing...

 

R: (laughs) No! See, that's what people think. That's why I explained

before, the mind will make you say that because it doesn't want to be

annihilated. It wants to rule you and control you completely. Because that's

it's nature. That's the nature of the mind that doesn't exist.

 

Q: When you're meditating, are you totally separate from this physical

world?

 

R: When who's meditating? When I'm meditating personally? Well, I don't

usually meditate. I sit sometimes with my eyes closed but I just rest my

eyelids.

 

Q: Because there's no one there, right? There's no one to meditate.

 

R: There has to be someone to meditate. That doesn't mean you should stop

meditating. It means you should look at these four principles and compare

them to where you are yourself, and work on yourself so that you can apply

these principles to yourself everyday, until the day comes when you don't

have to talk about it any longer. You just become a total manifestation of

those principles. You just realize; you become aware of.

 

R: There are three methods we use to help us on the path, so we can

realize what we were talking about before. Number one is self surrender,

where we surrender completely to God, or to yourself. But that's hard to do

for most people. It sounds easy, but it's not. It means that you have no life

of your own. You surrender completely and totally everything to God. Totally.

Every part of your life goes to God. "Not my will, but Thine". That's

devotion, Bhakti. Again, it sounds easy to some people, but it's not when you

get into it, because it means every decision that you have to make is left up

to God. You give your mind to God, totally, completely, absolutely. And that

leads you to self realization.

 

Number two is mindfulness, which we were talking about. Becoming the

witness. Watching yourself continuously. Watching your thoughts, watching

your actions. Sitting in meditation and watching what goes on in your mind.

Not trying to change anything or correct anything. Just observing. Becoming

the witness to your thoughts in meditation, and to your actions in the waking

state.

 

And number three is the one that I advocate, self inquiry. Asking yourself,

"To whom do these troubles come? To whom does this karma come? To whom does

this suffering come? It comes to me? Well, what is 'me'? I am me. Who am I?

From where did the I come from?" And following the "I" to its source.

 

You can use any of those three methods, the one that suits you best. But by

all means do something. Don't waste your life with frivolities. Work on

yourself, if you want to become free. It doesn't mean you have to give up

going to the movies, or going to work. or anything. You give nothing up. You

just become aware of what you're doing. You become a conscious being. You

become conscious of your actions. You become loving, compassionate, gentle to

all people. You stop watching out for number one. Most of us say. "Number

one. I'm number one". Forget it. That's how you suffer. That's ego. It's hard

to understand, when you give up your ego, how you can have a better life, but

you do. Try it and you'll see. When you stop thinking of yourself, and you

start thinking on yourself, but yourself becomes Omni-presence, that means

you're thinking of everybody else as yourself. So if any human being suffers,

you suffer too.

 

But, in a way we differ from Buddhism. Not much, but a little. Because the

bodhisattva says he will not be realized until everybody else is realized.

But then they have a higher bodhisattva called the Aghast. It's like the

Overshoot in Hinduism, who becomes self realized, by himself, because he

understands that his self is the Self of all. And that's what we accept. In

other words, if you want to help your fellow man, if you want to make this

world a better world in which to live, find yourself first, and everything

else will take care of itself.