death

[Guest guest]

(previous) Sunday, she died in the hospice.

Cancer spread, and finally to the brain.

A good friend for 25 years, and ex-wife.

Ceased perhaps a bit too early; at 48.

Seen her, a few hours after. Sat for an hour and a half with her..

Powerful and peaceful Presence in the room.

Apart from all the biological & 'spiritual' knowledge relating to

Death, when one is in its vicinity/proximity, it is a kind of an

Incomprehensible shock of its Mystery.. irrevocable and Absolute

Finality..

So Silent and yet So Loud !..

So Motionless and yet so overwhelmingly Potent and effective !

Finally, the 'me' had to go into abeyance,.. and the humility of not-

knowing take its place..

one cannot cheat the blatant Fact of Death with spiritual chit-

chat/speculative noises and self-contracted/concerned dreams of a

glorious spiritual/fulfilling life..

while living, there seem to be many back-doors one can sneak out thru

and away from life as-it-is,.. the stark Statement of Death though,

does not seem to provide or tolerate such a 'back-door'..

: the body, which moved, talked etc,.. suddenly Absolutely

MotionLess..

not even a slight movement of breathing or eye-movement,..

The person was no more..

An Absolute, irretrievable un-argumentable endlessly powerful

Statement of life..

The look on her face seemed to be of a focussed strength and peace,..

could feel an unqualified Presence

(perhaps her, as Essence)

pointing to some 'beyond'.

On her chest, a few white roses, 'held' by her, by now, blood-drained

alabaster-white hand.

The hand was very cold.

(The body, once stops functioning, cannot be taken to the repair-

shop,..

the battery might run out or the circuits damaged,..But, it Is a One

Time offer.)

... 5 days before she died, have also visited her, .. that day was 25

years since we've met.

Though conscious only 30 sec. at a time, every time she was so, she

would be happy to find herself holding my hand.

I thanked her for her presence & company and wished her a good

journey.

(should there be such a thing..)

Went into the street, .. was dark already,

slightly raining & windy,..

the ground was covered with wet and yellowish leaves.

The gaze touched thru the eyes, a somewhat transformed life.

 

JB.

[Guest guest]

Thank you for writing and posting this, JB. I was moved to tears.

Such eloquence and feeling came through your brief sentences and phrases.

What you wrote about Death is powerful, insightful.

 

David

 

At 03:25 PM 11/20/00 +0000, you wrote:

>(previous) Sunday, she died in the hospice.

>Cancer spread, and finally to the brain.

>A good friend for 25 years, and ex-wife.

>Ceased perhaps a bit too early; at 48.

>Seen her, a few hours after. Sat for an hour and a half with her..

>Powerful and peaceful Presence in the room.

>Apart from all the biological & 'spiritual' knowledge relating to

>Death, when one is in its vicinity/proximity, it is a kind of an

>Incomprehensible shock of its Mystery.. irrevocable and Absolute

>Finality..

>So Silent and yet So Loud !..

>So Motionless and yet so overwhelmingly Potent and effective !

>Finally, the 'me' had to go into abeyance,.. and the humility of not-

>knowing take its place..

>one cannot cheat the blatant Fact of Death with spiritual chit-

>chat/speculative noises and self-contracted/concerned dreams of a

>glorious spiritual/fulfilling life..

>while living, there seem to be many back-doors one can sneak out thru

>and away from life as-it-is,.. the stark Statement of Death though,

>does not seem to provide or tolerate such a 'back-door'..

>: the body, which moved, talked etc,.. suddenly Absolutely

>MotionLess..

>not even a slight movement of breathing or eye-movement,..

>The person was no more..

>An Absolute, irretrievable un-argumentable endlessly powerful

>Statement of life..

>The look on her face seemed to be of a focussed strength and peace,..

>could feel an unqualified Presence

>(perhaps her, as Essence)

>pointing to some 'beyond'.

>On her chest, a few white roses, 'held' by her, by now, blood-drained

>alabaster-white hand.

>The hand was very cold.

>(The body, once stops functioning, cannot be taken to the repair-

>shop,..

>the battery might run out or the circuits damaged,..But, it Is a One

>Time offer.)

>.. 5 days before she died, have also visited her, .. that day was 25

>years since we've met.

>Though conscious only 30 sec. at a time, every time she was so, she

>would be happy to find herself holding my hand.

>I thanked her for her presence & company and wished her a good

>journey.

>(should there be such a thing..)

>Went into the street, .. was dark already,

>slightly raining & windy,..

>the ground was covered with wet and yellowish leaves.

>The gaze touched thru the eyes, a somewhat transformed life.

>

>JB.

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Thank you, JB.

Your words moved thru my body and became a felt meditiation. It

is its own reality, referring to nothing but itself. Glo

 

 

 

J B <JB789

 

Monday, November 20, 2000 10:25 AM

death