Fwd: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT

[Guest guest]

BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT

 

Bush to be smitten later today

 

In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one

nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule

last night's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House

to George Bush.

 

"I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this

morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell

not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit."

 

"I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote

count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO

know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won

Florida by exactly 20,219 votes."

 

Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict

overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida

to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is

analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for appeal.

 

"God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign

strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S.

Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against

the constitution of the state of Florida."

 

"Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises

ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I

mean."

 

God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida

precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter

confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin'

idiot."

 

"Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan.

Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll

name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James;

Barnhardt, Ron..."

 

Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George

W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially

smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the

Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock,

stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into

slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor

in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.

 

Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.

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