of killers and bunnies and dragons

[Guest guest]

>> ...(the killers and the killed)...and then some ... may as well

free the lot... not by embracing or distantiating ourselves with and

from them but... seeing them

within us... <<

I appreciate this whole conversation and the rest of this post by Wim.

One of the most terrifying and difficult aspects of my life this time

around has been to face the dark within myself. This was not some

theoretical or symbolic concept. It was real; it was ugly; it was

specific; I felt it wholly; and I had to struggle, both with this

"darkness" and with my own judgement about myself for carrying it. It

was during this time that I began to read eastern spiritual texts.

"The Wisdom of China and India" spoke to my suffering mind and heart,

and I still have my old copy of it today. When I read, "verily I say

unto you Agni, all the world is either food or eater," at some level

I began to dissolve my judgement and my terror. Before I could get

through it, though, I discovered that I must accept it. I had to

accept that I was fully capable of any of the most dispicable acts

ever committed. I had to face that I could be capable of these

actions due to losing control or with cold hearted calculation. I was

fortunate that, during this intense "dark night of the soul," I met a

number of "helpers." One was Elizabeth Kubler Ross. I attended a

conference on death and dying where she and Jerry Jampolsky were both

speaking. At the time I was working with the families and friends of

crime victims. (No accident, this, because, while my empathetic side

was feeling/expressing compassion for the victims and doing all I

could to help facilitate empowering action on their part, at the same

time, the darkness within me identified with the perpetrators of the

crimes.) Elizabeth told a personal story that (in my heart) brought

me to my knees in thanksgiving and awe. She spoke of how she had been

working with incarcerated criminals, of how she had been attempting to

facilitate getting them past their own violence. Then, during or after

one of the sessions, she found herself connecting to what she called

the "Hitler within." She symbolized the darkness this way because she

was a Jew and because she grew up around and fled the holocaust. She

was horrified. Then she suddenly remembered a buried, traumatic

experience from her childhood. She had a pet black bunny. She cared

for it and loved it, and it was her pet. One day her father ordered

her to take the bunny to the market and have it killed so the family

could eat it. That was the day her rage was born and buried and the

day that the "Hitler within" was born. Discovering this was like a

great gift because it gave her an understanding of the convicts she

had not previously had. And as she continued working with them, she

found that they all had "black bunnies." So, she said, we all have

the "Hitler within" and we all have our "black bunny." At the same

conference, Jerry Jampolsky, who had been strongly affected by the

channeled work, "A Course in Miracles," which I had also been reading

at the time, said this (which I later found, as I read on, to be

almost a direct quote from the "Course"): "everything that is, is

either an expression of Love or a cry for Love." This too brought me

(in my heart) to my knees. It gave me an instant sense of

understanding my abusive father (who was abused by his father). It

gave me an instant understanding of my own struggle, and it gave me

the blessing of unconditional acceptance. Soon after this, I was able

to envision this darkness within myself as a dragon, and was able to

transform the dragon from something fearful to a friend. Shanti ~

Linda