Meditation on the Beloved's Fire

[Guest guest]

Mirabai’s Fire

 

“…the beloved is like a refiner’s fire…”

-Malachi 3:2

 

Oh, my readers,

 

i am condemned into a life of limitless joy

condemned am i to a life of endless sorrow

by the very nature of my calling doomed

called to do that which cannot be done

 

needing you more,

with each shallowing whisper of breath,

needing you more

 

how can i who am nothing sing of the beloved

sing of the light crashing through the window

choir of the birdsong silencing the thunder

roar the red dragon consuming its own ashes

 

needing you more,

with each darkening spiral of light,

needing you more

 

how can i even speak whose tongue is parched

cracked my addicted lips to mira’s divine liquor

gagging and spewing on the purest spring water

as a vile and brackish brew of evil nightshade

 

needing you more,

with each decrescendo of the heart’s drum

needing you more

 

it is even impossible to writ of my beloved’s love

for such words that as yet cannot be lost or broken

etched if even into fine crystal or white platinum

do not exist, cannot be penned by my fragile hands

 

needing you more

as you needing me, beloved, me needing you as

needing you more

 

with each step into your mysterious darkness

i discover myself dissolving into you beloved

with each step into your mysterious darkness

i discover you dissolving into me my beloved

 

still needing you more

as you needing still me, beloved, me still needing you

as

still needing you more

 

called to do that which I cannot possibly do

by the very nature of my calling I am doomed

condemned am i to a sweet death without sorrow

i am condemned into a blissful death of unlimited joy

 

my beloved, until i am consumed in the red dragon’s fire of your divine love

i cannot sing of our love that with each failing breath grows higher and higher

 

oh my reader, do you no thirst as the beloved’s poet thirsts, come thirst with me

for i thirst with an immortal thirst, my thirst for the beloved is the refiner’s fire

 

my beloved, i come, i come, i come….still needing you more, more, more, i thirst

 

mark christopher valentine

(march 25, 2001)