response ability

[Guest guest]

Hi Lynette,

 

I am continually remembering (re-membering) and forgetting (for getting

what?) that responsibility can be viewed as the combination of two words

response and ability - the ability to respond. So, for the situation

that I have been in, I am responding to the acknowledgement that I no

longer wish to do research because I see it as an unfair trade. (I'm

happy to allow the research career end - well a bit afraid that I won't

be able to replace it, but not terribly so...) That is responsibility.

 

But, yes, I am also punching myself in the face for it (for doing the

research and knowing at the time that it caused me pain, but doing it

anyway because I did not know how to stop it), and it is clear to me

that that is just stupid. But I am doing it (the punching) and don't

know how to stop, so as you suggest, here I am experiencing something

that I don't seem to be able to control. So is the self hatred

something for which I am responsible, or is it the experience I am not

to blame for? That's the question with which I am wrestling. And I

think I may not be the only one here struggling with this question. (but

perhaps I am just projecting all over the list. sorry if I am.)

 

I am grateful for the insight.

 

Yes, I think I am blaming myself and also blaming God. I'm angry. (and

puzzled)

 

Love, Mark

ps finally, I think I am in the process of accepting. It's just a

process and I'm sporadically successful at it.

 

Mark.........My beloved reminds me daily...... All is as it should

be......

Perhaps this will help... there has been a string of

conversation on the

K-list about responsibility....

 

These are words echoed in my head by my beloved to me

on my responsibilty to

myself....

 

Being Responsible is an idea of placing blame on

someone.

do you blame someone else or yourself for the things

that have happened in

your life?

 

To be responsible implies judgement and blame.

Supporting responsibility to yourself is an implication

of acknowledging you

are to blame for an incident.

 

Where there is NO blame, only experiences. All are

experiencing life, whether

it is someone who seeks to control, or the person being

controlled. No One is

responsible for this situation. IT JUST IS.

 

Responsibility is an illusion. Just as all human

responses to situations are

illusions.

 

Only acceptance is needed, not responsibility. Accept

all as being illusion,

then realize that nothing has happened but illusion,

and step past it.

 

Not claiming responsibility, not placing

responsibility, not demanding

responsibility..

 

Just accept all events as the path you are on towards

truth.......

 

Lyn