[oshana] John de Ruiter, Andrew Cohen and me, and a spare under-inflated ego

[Guest guest]

Dear Heather,

 

I loved your letter. It really is so very well put, and really speaks

for itself. I cannot comment for sure about why you had a hard

exciting teacher and then a softer calmer one and how that all worked

for your growth. I do not even know what led to my own awakening.

 

My first consideration is to ask if there is anything more that you

need? I am sure that you would ask if that was so.

 

I didn't name "A" because the email was slightly critical though it

was mostly affectionate towards "A". A is someone who was an Osho

Sannyasin and then with Poonja (Papaji).

 

I could have named "A" to stir up some controversy and thereby

generate some attention for my work as your teacher Andrew Cohen has

unavoidably done in the past. But I generally feel all teachers are

well-intentioned, and one day I will meet some of them, and I would

hope that the meeting is more beautiful than intellectual.

 

I met Andrew over 10 years ago. After that time I met softer

teachers too. Andrew seemed gesturally pugnacious, he would laugh

nasally and cackle at certain type of `out of bounds' questions. I

hear that he likes watching boxing matches. I felt challenged by him

but also lost by his concepts. There seemed little time to speak to

him and he seemed to smirk at people's questions. There was a vibe

from a notional `security team' around him that seemed to repel

people. I later heard of some `persistent' questioners being ejected.

I also heard that Andrew has been challenged by other teachers who

were with Papaji. As you know I prefer the gentle approach.

 

I would say that when I met Andrew he had no practices or structure

that was `scary'. Now, I hear that there is a structure.

 

People talk of a powerful energy about Andrew, they say he got it as

a gift from Papaji. Whatever is the case – simply that `energy' is

more than sufficient to create a huge buzz – regardless of the

philosophy being spoken.

 

I did wonder if all the practices and discussions on Andrew's

retreats are just like energetic waiting rooms, since people may

require something to do until they get to see the main man – the

source.

 

It may start to seem that I have a strong viewpoint on Andrew - I

don't. All teachers are enigmas and have unique expressions. They do

their best to help people to get `IT'. Andrew was around in the early

days. I felt a power around him but never understood what was going

on.

 

I don't speak of the ego much. But let's say I do massage it… until

it dissolves! All this talk of ego and trying to do things just seems

to create another ego, and they are all illusory. There was a lot of

efforting going on in Andrew's group when I was there, or so it

seemed, though I can see some people got into all kinds of states too.

 

Maybe Andrew helped tire your ego out. I don't know if he would see

it that way. As I say I don't really see the ego. I just see if there

is a capacity to experience/catch the fullness of Being Alive in all

parts of one's Being. I also apply a little shoe-horn and almond oil

to stretch that space – it's almost imperceptible unless you are very

sensitive.

 

It sounds like something really great is happening with you and you

are just seeking a bit of understanding. I am guessing is your new

teacher the latest big splash in the pool – John de Ruiter?

 

I met John 4 years ago and people still remember the taped

conversations that I had with him ("From Endarkenment to

Enlightenment" and "The Still …Voice"(?)… I don't have either of

them) . That was before my Awakening. I did half a longish, 2 hour

conversation with John the first night he was in London few months

ago. I was hoping to hear Mira, Papaji's wife, talk with John. She

didn't so I decided that I wanted to speak and was lucky to be given

a chance to have the mic. I raised some questions about statements he

had made – partly what I had thought up myself and partly what some

people in Mira's entourage had been talking about by way of

comparison with Papaji and Advaita. Mira later met John a few days

later, I missed it for my sins!

 

John is also difficult to fully understand. He speaks a lot less than

Andrew. Both have powerful energies. Interestingly, in the Total

Freedom Dialogue meetings we get quite a few people who have been

with John, Osho and Papaji. Why? Because I guess, Freedom and not

structure is on offer. We get a few people who have left Andrew.

Perhaps, ironically, it is too challenging to be with Andrew and be

in a meeting that makes no demands at all.

 

We don't get many Buddhist and Christians either. We offer no

practices, no rules and no membership or staged fellowship. The only

commitment one has to make is to oneself: to be honest, open and

vulnerable. That can be scary but it is the only way to finish the

journey.

 

I don't know if that answers your questions but it allowed me to say

a few things for the record, so thanks.

 

Lots of love

 

dave

 

 

 

Hi Dave,

 

Just wondering how your soft/gentle approach handles ego. I have been

with a teacher, perhaps even the one referred to as "A" in the

message you are responding to here, and his teaching was a very big

challenge to ego and that seemed to be the whole point. There was a

fire and a passion experienced as well as the noble desire to do the

right thing which was very thrilling as well as terrifying at times.

There was the discovery of a reservoir of strength that enabled me to

abandon everything personal; family, possessions, ideas and desires

for acceptance and recognition. I experienced states and

relationships that were completely unknown to me previously. There

was also the deep love and reverence for A. as he lived the example

of perfection in action and helped others to rise up out of their

small and limited ideas of who they were to meet him in that

challenge. It was like living the most incredible adventure

imaginable....

 

I have since been with a teacher who speaks very gently from the

depths of Presence and found this to be a much more direct encounter

with the deeper state of Consciousness that accepts What Is happening

in the field of NOW with no challenge to anything whatsoever. No

resistance, no challenge, just pure and gentle awareness of being

Conscious NOW. No little me to fight against or sacrifice, but rather

the allowing of everything to be as it is...including the rising and

falling of thoughts, feelings, and circumstances.

 

My experience of life is now very peaceful, quiet and ordinary. There

is still a thrill, however it is the thrill of feeling alive in every

cell of my being and is not dependant on any outer condition. There

is the recognition that every form is also alive in this thrill...the

cows in the field, the trees, the birds, the whole of Nature

springing up in this awake and alive energy of Beingness. Gentle and

very sweet awareness of being alive...NOW.

 

So I am wondering if my previous experience with A. was a necessary

one in which the hard shell of ego was penetrated to the point that

enabled this very soft and gentle awareness to flower. I am grateful

for both teachings but wonder at getting stuck in ideas of striving

for perfection that require time and never seem to really take one

all the way home. I would like to know from your experience, just

what you think of this question.

 

Love from Heather

 

 

 

oshana/message/178