problems and pointing

[Guest guest]

Right on!!

 

Dharma

>I have several comments to share, and I do so with a sincere intent to

>be helpful, so please hear me with open mind and heart. Compassion

>seems to me to be an ability, a desire, to go to the place where a

>suffering being is and share the burden, to convey caring and once there

>to give gifts of better strategies. To do this, one has to be willing

>to meet the person where they are. Demanding that they be elsewhere is

>not only not helpful, but can be very damaging, as for most of us, this

>is why we are suffering in the first place, because demands to be

>someone else were made and we felt we had no choice but to obey. By

>obeying, we betrayed who we really are and now we are suffering because

>we feel betrayed. (perhaps I speak only for myself, that's for others

>to decide.) I try now and then to see how others have helped me, to

>know what compassion in action feels like from the receiving end, so

>that I may better give. (I believe giving and receiving are one and the

>same action.)

>

>So, I'm wondering if you may be able to recall a time when you were

>suffering because of a delusion, and someone came along and made

>contact. Didn't they (did they? I'm truly asking) start by letting you

>know that you, complete with your delusion were okay? Don't get me

>wrong. I'm not saying that the underlying message was "be deluded", I'm

>talking about first contact. I'm talking about finding a way inside

>defenses that have become massive and dangerous to all involved. I'm

>not talking about any person here, just about your suggestion that

>compassion never masks truth. I think compassion masks truth all the

>time to make contact, to allow people to meet heart to heart. I think

>that is what makes compassion so incredibly cool, because we meet right

>here, inside the darkness, inside the lie of separation. (how else could

>we heal separation, but by meeting?) Compassion is a bridge to the

>light, and so one side of it HAS to be in the dark. And then, the

>revealing of the light is done gently to avoid doing harm. I'm a bit of

>a prankster here, but I think the spirit of this list is that we nudge

>each other along towards the light, perhaps unintentionally in our play,

>but I don't see folks yanking each other's shirts and dragging them

>towards the light, I see a gentle interplay in which light gets sprayed

>around and lands where it will.

>

>Well, thanks for letting me rant.

>

>Be well,

>Mark

>

>

>

>/join

>

>All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

>perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and

>subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not

>different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the

>nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present.

>It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the

>Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of

>Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self. Welcome

>all to a.

>

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[Guest guest]

Dear Mark,

 

You say it so well:

> Compassion seems to me to be an ability, a desire,

> to go to the place where a suffering being is and share

> the burden, to convey caring and once there to give

> gifts of better strategies. To do this, one has to be willing

> to meet the person where they are.

> Demanding that they be elsewhere is not only not helpful,

> but can be very damaging, as for most of us, this is why

> we are suffering in the first place, because demands to be

> someone else were made and we felt we had no choice

> but to obey...

 

You got it so right, when people are compassionate that way..., yes... it

works that way, what else can I say...

> I try now and then to see how others have helped me, to

> know what compassion in action feels like from the receiving end

 

That's it Mark, the memory and re-experience of that help to me, got me to

experience both sides of the dynamics.

After that I could also see the need, the possibility and 'the way how' I

could be compassionate WITH MYSELF....

 

Your words here:

> to go to the place where a suffering being is

(Where I really was myself, and facing me there.)

> and share the burden,

(A kind of sorrow and care for myself, not self-pity.)

> to convey caring and once there to give gifts of better strategies.

(And find 'ways out' on my own, even finding my own creative solutions where

I never saw them before.)

> Demanding that they be elsewhere is not only

> not helpful, but can be very damaging.

(I accepted where I was eventually. I realized and accepted that I could not

miraculously be somewhere else. Once I knew that fully, I could build the

little steps..., to climb out of the dark..., on my own.)

 

(For people who know a bit of the story of Michelle, the live-in client who

was with us for a year and a half, she is now doing just that. For the first

time in her life, starting to live and starting to make it on her own, step

by little shaky step. Before she came to us, she never knew the existence

even of the tools, did not know the dynamics of compassion and unconditional

love... but she found them (we did not hide them too well :-) and

appropriated them... She is now self-compassionately and patiently freeing

herself, becoming independent.)

> that I may better give. (I believe giving and receiving

> are one and the same action.)

(The same way others had given me. By default the gratitude that comes with

that understanding leads into the gift of gracing others with the same.

(Bodhisattvas give rise to bodhisattvas)

 

Yes, Mark, I just wanted to put the words 'gratitude' and 'grace' in your

mouth.

You don't mind that, do you? :-)

> Well, thanks for letting me rant.

 

You rant well my man,

 

Love, Wim