Some light start for breakfast ..

[Guest guest]

Why do we say something is out of whack? ..

What's a whack?

 

Do infants enjoy infancy

as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

 

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts,"

and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

 

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just

stale bread to begin with.

 

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

 

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,

but a person that drives a race car not called a racist?

 

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

 

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

 

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

 

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

 

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that

electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,

models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

 

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

 

What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?

 

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as

they get older, then it dawned on me .. they're cramming for their final exam.

 

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny forks and spoons,

so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

 

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

What are we > supposed to do, write to them?

 

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the

others here for?

 

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

 

No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

 

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

 

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.

The mime next door went nuts.