A Mother and her Son on Mother's Day

[Guest guest]

I was sitting in meditation in an Ashram in Sydney ..

The whole group .. all 200 of us were in silent meditation ..

 

and a picture came to me ...

 

As silently as I could, I got up and left .. there were a few strange

looks ..

but I had just got a call from my mother

 

It was 1AM on Mother's day .. 12 years ago ..

when I arrived at the nursing home where

my mother had lain for previous 5 years

in various states of consciousness ..

 

her Alzheimers had long since passed the final stage ..

and to most, she was incoherent ..

 

but yet, part of her mind was still alert .. and I had remembered my

telepathic abilities of much younger years ..

 

There was a bit of an argument with the night staff ..

but I can be very obstinant when I want to get my way ..

 

I was shown into her room .. and she was lying there .. awake ..

 

No telepathy needed this time ..

 

"Christopher", she said quite clearly .. "How could you come"

 

"You called Mother", I replied .. "we both know why .."

 

"Christopher .. I am very frightened .."

 

"Why Mother" ..

 

Over what seemed like a very long time, she spoke to me quite

clearly and lucidly .. all of the time staring intently into my eyes ..

 

I also knew she saw beyond the normal human sight ..

 

 

She told me of all the things that she judged herself for .. of the

beatings ..

of how she kept me, as a very young child .. tied up to the clothes line

on a dog leash .. or locked up in the hen house .. how she

had killed me twice .. and brought me back .. and how no-one ever

knew .. she told me of how she gave away my sister because she

was too much trouble .. she told me lots of things .. tears started

streaming down that old face ..

 

I put my fingers over her lips and said to her

 

"You don't have to say any more, Mum .. I know

all of this and its OK"

 

"But how can you say that .. I even killed your Father"

 

"I know Mum .. but I cannot judge you .."

 

 

She caught her breath and coughed .. "What do you mean .."

 

 

As clearly and simply as I could I explained to her what I had been doing ..

and how I understood why these things happened in our lives ..

 

She interrupted me .. "Can you forgive me .."

 

"Mother .. if you need my forgiveness .. yes I can .. but .."

 

she looked even more intently into my eyes ..

 

"I do not blame you .. in spite of all that happened, I know

that you did the very best you knew how at the time .. and

I can never blame anyone for what they do not know .."

 

"I want you to know that everything that ever happened has

led me in my life to where I am now .. and for that, all I can

do is thank you .."

 

There was silence for minutes as she closed her eyes and

her breath just flowed .. it wasn't time yet ..

 

 

"Hold me .. ? " she asked softly .. hesitantly ..

 

I moved over beside what was virtually a parchment

covered skeleton .. and took her in my arms ..

 

She looked up again .. into my eyes .. "Thank You"

 

"No mum .. Thank You" .. you are free to go when ever

you feel ready .. how's the fear ..?"

 

"There is no fear now, Christopher .."

 

A Few minutes later, her breathing changed ..

 

"I Love you Christopher" ..

 

She never heard my reply ..

but then, there was no need.

 

_________

 

 

and some people on this list

wonder why they can't find any

of my emotions behind my words ..

 

cw