Were I Godde

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WERE I GODDE...(Musings of an ancient wounded healer after a lifetime

of listening)Were I GoddeI would diveinto the darkest shadowsof being

human,into profound pain,outrageous loss,unbearable

suffering,embracing all the tearsand the joy I could find,and I would

swimtowards Lighttaking with meas much of the brokennesseverywhere and

of all timeas I could gather.Were I Godde I would livein despair and

in hope.I would bethe inspiration of a poem,the rainbow, the dew on

the grass,the color of fall, the gentle breeze,the kind word, the

tender touch,the laughter of children.I would abide in every

flower,every seed,every cry and sigh,I would bethe possibility ofeach

new moment.I would be weaknessfinding strength,never lording it over

others,but in every humble service,pitching my tentamong the

poor,preferring the outsiders.I would nestle in vulnerability:risking

and giving Self.Were I Godde I would hideso subtly within all

creationthat I could never be caught.I would be so unutterableas to

resist being talked about,and abhor the use of the "God"

nameremembering the oppressiondone in my name.I would exist beyond

any wordany symbol,any possible expression,but I would dwellin every

human groan.I would avoid expected places:some pulpits, rituals,

churches.I would never be snaredby theology, religionor even

prayer.No sacred book, systemor creed could captureor contain Me--my

incomprehensibleawful immensities.I would exist solelyto be given

away,with heart not mind,never to be comprehended orheld by safe

orthodoxy:far more verb than noun.I would be yearning for

freedom,passion for justice,thirsting for peace,searching for

truth,craving for affirmation,ardor for sharing,the making of

love,and the ecstasy of surrender.I would be inevery form of

hurtingand its transcendence.I would be gleamedin lowly favors,

generosity,courage, simplicity, compassionbut especiallyin

forgiveness.I would be aborning ever newin the bruised and lonely

heart.I would be found morein doubt than in certaintymore in

questioning thanin righteousness.I would need to beintimately

concealedbecause the human egois so ready to use Meto elevate

itselfby judging others.I would despise the useof presumed truths

about Meto divide the human race,for every sectarian purpose.Were I

Godde I would enjoyleaving clues, riddlesand traces everywhere,being

tracked onlyby valiant searchers.I would glory inthe incompletenessof

my creaturesand all of my creation,knowingthat the human spiritI

sustaincould triumphover any human messand bring love and equityeven

as I do,out of chaos.I would lovetransformingfutility.I would let

myself be glimpsedin sunrises and sunsetsin the wonders of

natureplanet earth--ship and voyager--cosmic immensitiesgalaxies and

darkness,in human loving,yearning and striving,in quiet stillness

andbecoming littlein EVERY human story.- Paschal Bernard Baute

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