Joyces(No-Self) and Too Much Self Ramble

[Guest guest]

Hi Dharma,

Dharma - I don't really think it matters much which practices a person uses.

Whatever suits you... "different strokes for different folks." When I

know someone who goes from teacher to teacher and tradition to tradition, I

suggest that he should just pick one and stay with it.

Joyce -No I don't think it matters either. Just seems to be chance and

karma. Although the Sufi's say nothing happens by accident. I rather

think every being is on whatever 'path', if it can even be called

that, that best suits them. In Buddhism there are said to be 84,000

teachings, which simply means a teaching for every being existent and

not necessary formal traditional path. I tend to think of my path as

the labor of child-birth and that is what has stuck, even though I

have moved through many path teachings (they are all the same). If

one is 'self-medicating' one doesn't always find the correct

remedies.

>But, there is a difference in that in Buddhist practice, it is very

>important to prepare the mind for recognition of emptiness and its full

>meaning through the awakening of altruistic mind - Metta, Bodhisattva,

>Tonglen, Brahma Viharas etc. Without this the awakening can be rough as

>the shift in realty can be overwhelming.

Dharma - That makes sense, though I'm not sure how much one can be prepared. When I

went into the All, it took me three years to get back to "normal" human

life. I worked at it because I had small children who needed me... and a

sense that there were other things for me to do here.

Joyce - Love to hear that. Same for me. When I had my first launch

out of ego, it was pretty ghastly. I had been in Zen sesshin. I

only had a short time away from my family so determined to do or/and

die as they say in zen. I sat all the time and followed a practice

of breathing my way up the spine which was visualized as bamboo. Hit

total silence and then the universe exploded. No separate self left in

one way but in another, lots of ego having a fit about it. I'm not

going to give the details, someone might go and do this practice. So,

I went home but the experience kept on. No sleep was the worst as when

I closed my eyes, I could still see. Guessing what was going on I went

to the library for books on Kundalini, then found a list of addresses

of people related to Kundalini Yoga. I wrote to them all. The two

letters that came back that were the kindest were from the people

associated with Gopi Krishna who invited me along to India -laugh-

and the second was from a disciple of Amrit Desai. She was kind and

supportive so I thought that her teacher might be a good one and went

along for retreat. And, if she had experienced what I described, then

I wasn't crazy. Even before Amrit Desai came into the hall, the

raging energy that was causing suffering suddenly calmed and mellowed

and I felt sane again (if not 'normal', I could cope) So I hung

around with this group for awhile and learned to take care of myself.

Lots of shakti-pat helped with the blockages. I also attended

Darshan with Desai's teacher who was still alive and living at the

Ashram. He was probably the greatest being I have ever encountered.

I eventually went back to vipassana. The most useful for me as lay

householder and I tend to cling to energy so work with clinging. And

as I have been sort of backtracking I have learned more about

integrating whatever arises. Welcoming and being friendly to

everything works. Now, instead of the raging energy of the All, there

is occasional dropping off of all body/mind and just peace. And when I

experience various degrees of merging with any 'other', this no longer

is a problem. I don't make a fuss. There's a saying from the Tibetans,

"Don't make a fuss'. The Tibetan teachers have probably been the most

helpful. The bardo practices very good for 'getting used to'.

I spent some time with a therapist working with schizophrenics - a

student of RD Laing, who I also met at a rather rolicking retreat.

This helped me sort out 'ego' a bit. I didn't consider myself

mentally ill but this group of people were a let your hair down look

at anything no holds barred kind of group so lots to learn about

integrating. Laing's approach is to let people fall apart and then

let then put themselves back together again but provide a safe place

for them to do this. Not as good as an ashram but what I had. I

eventually went on my way back to the Buddhists. All this time of

course, like yourself, I was being 'normal' for poor family and also

struggling with massive depression.

I have no doubt that if I had had better preparation, less

selfishness, more wisdom (a teacher who some English, something I've

rarely had) then things might have moved more harmoniously.

'Emptiness' as experience of the universe has moved from harsh

impersonal uncontrollable rather nasty never ending bad LSD trip to a

more loving and compassionate experience. Probably because of the

change of this mind. Lots of interesting (intriguing-ha) phenomena

and so on that I'm still integrating. Completely lost all desire for

sex.

But, I have no preferences as to path. For example, once when we were

living in Kenya, a rather horrible situation occured in our

neighbourhood. Behind all our posh houses was a slum community of

about 20,000 people. With fifteen minutes notice, government

bulldozers arrived to clear them out...they were sitting on valuable

property. Everything they had smashed to ruble. Of course, our posh

part of the community was horrifed by this. But what to do? I was

usually not allowed to mix out of my community and doing so would put

my husband's work in jeprody. But, I heard a voice, really loudly and

clearly, "That which ye do for the least of these my brethern, do ye

also unto me." So, friends an I organized our various rich

communities and schools and off we went to help. I met the Catholic

sisters who sat in the ruble and refused to move. Long story, but

one of the major learning experiences. The daily encounter in the

market with beggars with no legs (they sat on little wheeled wagon

things) was also major practice. They gave me their blessings more

graciously then I gave coins. Exercise in mindfulness

practice=discover that the pile of rags one passes on the street is

actually a lepor. Horrified, put large paper money in his tin.

Realize too late that as he is deaf as well as blind, he won't have

heard the paper money and someone would have stolen it from him.

A few months ago, I encountered someone on a list. Nice kind fellow,

physicist but had gone blind. I began to send him material for his

talking computer and we have become friends. Recently, I hit the pit

again. It has to be bad for me to ask for help, but since my friend

is a shaman, I emailed him an SOS. Being still very hard nosed, I

didn't expect much practical help from a shaman via email. But, the

minute he got my email he replied saying that 'Coconut' his white

polar bear helper was on the way. As I lay emobilized in bed, I

could feel this huge protective presence. Coconut didn't actually do

anything but be there protecting while I went through whatever it was.

I then proceded to be a little worried because Coconut was only on

loan. My friend said I could find my own helper, which again I

didn't think likely. But, recently, a seagull has appeared. When I

get really contracted, Seagull appears and hey presto, expanded into

spaciousness. Worth being depressed to experience. When I was living

in Kenya, I had met an old blind Boran shaman who shared his life with

me for awhile.

So - all thus must sound quite mad. But the advantage in being a

rather dim spiritual traveler is that over thirty years I have

encountered many spectacularily compassionate beings willing to

teach. All experience seems to have come down to breaking the closed

nut of this heart wide open. Other than that, I know nothing at all.

I think there's progress because mad people are at home with me, for

awhile not alone, they know they don't frighten me, and old ladies

and other people stop and start talking to me in the shops.

I have been living a parallel life with a husband and others who know

nothing of all this but I have written down everything so that one

day my children and grandchildren will know more about who I was, it

may help them. The parallel lines are now closing into one single

path which will eventually dissolve. Peace and love all around me

even if there is still a few pits to fall into.

Yes, nothing to do but be here, help if one can, be kind. Cope with

being completely naked when with those wearing clothing and don't

joggle them awake before they are ready. Have a few laughs and good

wine.

Love,

Joyce

[Guest guest]

Hi Joyce,

 

I like the warm, candid, engaging, friendly way you are writing about

yourself here!

 

Love,

 

--Greg

[Guest guest]

> I have been living a parallel life with a husband and others who

know

> nothing of all this but I have written down everything so that one

day my

> children and grandchildren will know more about who I was, it may

help them.

> The parallel lines are now closing into one single path which will

> eventually dissolve. Peace and love all around me even if there is

still a

> few pits to fall into.

>

>Have a few laughs and good wine.

 

 

Hello Joyce,

 

Thank you for sharing parts of your story with us.

 

There is something very familiar with it.

 

I wholly agree on your conclusion there...

 

 

Love,

 

Amanda.

[Guest guest]

dearest dharma and joyce....

thank-you for this open exchange....even since i was a little boy i

have been easily able to retreat into the all....at some times more

than others.....given my childhood up-bringing i have always shied

away from 'spriitual' teachers or masters of any kind after learning

out easily one is exploited & manipulted by those are hungry for

authoity....so it was very unexpected for me when one day my beloved

mira sent me with a very short email into the abode deeper than i had

ever been before.....i did not sleep for like three days.....since

then, i have used my years of off again and off again zen practice

and lectio divina to soften the intensity of what i receive.....yet,

i find that my heart remains always vulnerable and radiant....i have

found peace in the abode of the beloved....sometime after this

experience, mirror and i became personally involved with each

other....this has been even more dramatic....it has grounded me to

reality...to experience the full range of love with those in my daily

life.....i do not think i will never find words to describe my

experience....the Beloved is indeed my beloved in everyway

imaginable....teacher, friend, lover, wife, mother,

student.....^^~~~~~

further up & further in,

white wolfe

-

Joyce Short

Wednesday, June 06, 2001 6:58 AM

Joyces(No-Self) and Too Much Self Ramble

Hi Dharma,

Dharma - I don't really think it matters much which practices a person

uses.Whatever suits you... "different strokes for different folks."

When Iknow someone who goes from teacher to teacher and tradition

to tradition, Isuggest that he should just pick one and stay with it.

:)Joyce -No I don't think it matters either. Just seems to be chance

and karma. Although the Sufi's say nothing happens by accident. I

rather think every being is on whatever 'path', if it can even be

called that, that best suits them. In Buddhism there are said to be

84,000 teachings, which simply means a teaching for every being

existent and not necessary formal traditional path. I tend to think

of my path as the labor of child-birth and that is what has stuck,

even though I have moved through many path teachings (they are all

the same). If one is 'self-medicating' one doesn't always find the

correct remedies.>But, there is a difference in that in Buddhist

practice, it is very>important to prepare the mind for recognition of

emptiness and its full>meaning through the awakening of altruistic

mind - Metta, Bodhisattva,>Tonglen, Brahma Viharas etc. Without this

the awakening can be rough as>the shift in realty can be

overwhelming.Dharma - That makes sense, though I'm not sure how much

one can be prepared. When Iwent into the All, it took me three years

to get back to "normal" humanlife. I worked at it because I had small

children who needed me... and asense that there were other things for

me to do here.Joyce - Love to hear that. Same for me. When I had my

first launch out of ego, it was pretty ghastly. I had been in Zen

sesshin. I only had a short time away from my family so determined

to do or/and die as they say in zen. I sat all the time and followed

a practice of breathing my way up the spine which was visualized as

bamboo. Hit total silence and then the universe exploded. No

separate self left in one way but in another, lots of ego having a

fit about it. I'm not going to give the details, someone might go and

do this practice. So, I went home but the experience kept on. No sleep

was the worst as when I closed my eyes, I could still see. Guessing

what was going on I went to the library for books on Kundalini, then

found a list of addresses of people related to Kundalini Yoga. I

wrote to them all. The two letters that came back that were the

kindest were from the people associated with Gopi Krishna who invited

me along to India -laugh- and the second was from a disciple of Amrit

Desai. She was kind and supportive so I thought that her teacher

might be a good one and went along for retreat. And, if she had

experienced what I described, then I wasn't crazy. Even before Amrit

Desai came into the hall, the raging energy that was causing

suffering suddenly calmed and mellowed and I felt sane again (if not

'normal', I could cope) So I hung around with this group for awhile

and learned to take care of myself. Lots of shakti-pat helped with

the blockages. I also attended Darshan with Desai's teacher who was

still alive and living at the Ashram. He was probably the greatest

being I have ever encountered. I eventually went back to vipassana.

The most useful for me as lay householder and I tend to cling to

energy so work with clinging. And as I have been sort of backtracking

I have learned more about integrating whatever arises. Welcoming and

being friendly to everything works. Now, instead of the raging energy

of the All, there is occasional dropping off of all body/mind and just

peace. And when I experience various degrees of merging with any

'other', this no longer is a problem. I don't make a fuss. There's a

saying from the Tibetans, "Don't make a fuss'. The Tibetan teachers

have probably been the most helpful. The bardo practices very good

for 'getting used to'.I spent some time with a therapist working with

schizophrenics - a student of RD Laing, who I also met at a rather

rolicking retreat. This helped me sort out 'ego' a bit. I didn't

consider myself mentally ill but this group of people were a let your

hair down look at anything no holds barred kind of group so lots to

learn about integrating. Laing's approach is to let people fall apart

and then let then put themselves back together again but provide a

safe place for them to do this. Not as good as an ashram but what I

had. I eventually went on my way back to the Buddhists. All this

time of course, like yourself, I was being 'normal' for poor family

and also struggling with massive depression. I have no doubt that if

I had had better preparation, less selfishness, more wisdom (a

teacher who some English, something I've rarely had) then things

might have moved more harmoniously. 'Emptiness' as experience of the

universe has moved from harsh impersonal uncontrollable rather nasty

never ending bad LSD trip to a more loving and compassionate

experience. Probably because of the change of this mind. Lots of

interesting (intriguing-ha) phenomena and so on that I'm still

integrating. Completely lost all desire for sex.But, I have no

preferences as to path. For example, once when we were living in

Kenya, a rather horrible situation occured in our neighbourhood.

Behind all our posh houses was a slum community of about 20,000

people. With fifteen minutes notice, government bulldozers arrived to

clear them out...they were sitting on valuable property. Everything

they had smashed to ruble. Of course, our posh part of the community

was horrifed by this. But what to do? I was usually not allowed to

mix out of my community and doing so would put my husband's work in

jeprody. But, I heard a voice, really loudly and clearly, "That which

ye do for the least of these my brethern, do ye also unto me." So,

friends an I organized our various rich communities and schools and

off we went to help. I met the Catholic sisters who sat in the ruble

and refused to move. Long story, but one of the major learning

experiences. The daily encounter in the market with beggars with no

legs (they sat on little wheeled wagon things) was also major

practice. They gave me their blessings more graciously then I gave

coins. Exercise in mindfulness practice=discover that the pile of

rags one passes on the street is actually a lepor. Horrified, put

large paper money in his tin. Realize too late that as he is deaf as

well as blind, he won't have heard the paper money and someone would

have stolen it from him. A few months ago, I encountered someone on a

list. Nice kind fellow, physicist but had gone blind. I began to send

him material for his talking computer and we have become friends.

Recently, I hit the pit again. It has to be bad for me to ask for

help, but since my friend is a shaman, I emailed him an SOS. Being

still very hard nosed, I didn't expect much practical help from a

shaman via email. But, the minute he got my email he replied saying

that 'Coconut' his white polar bear helper was on the way. As I lay

emobilized in bed, I could feel this huge protective presence.

Coconut didn't actually do anything but be there protecting while I

went through whatever it was. I then proceded to be a little worried

because Coconut was only on loan. My friend said I could find my own

helper, which again I didn't think likely. But, recently, a seagull

has appeared. When I get really contracted, Seagull appears and hey

presto, expanded into spaciousness. Worth being depressed to

experience. When I was living in Kenya, I had met an old blind Boran

shaman who shared his life with me for awhile.So - all thus must sound

quite mad. But the advantage in being a rather dim spiritual traveler

is that over thirty years I have encountered many spectacularily

compassionate beings willing to teach. All experience seems to have

come down to breaking the closed nut of this heart wide open. Other

than that, I know nothing at all. I think there's progress because

mad people are at home with me, for awhile not alone, they know they

don't frighten me, and old ladies and other people stop and start

talking to me in the shops. I have been living a parallel life with a

husband and others who know nothing of all this but I have written

down everything so that one day my children and grandchildren will

know more about who I was, it may help them. The parallel lines are

now closing into one single path which will eventually dissolve.

Peace and love all around me even if there is still a few pits to

fall into.Yes, nothing to do but be here, help if one can, be kind.

Cope with being completely naked when with those wearing clothing and

don't joggle them awake before they are ready. Have a few laughs and

good

wine.Love,Joyce/join

All paths go

somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights, perceptions,

and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back

into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of

Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It

is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the

Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of

Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self.

Welcome all to a.Your use of is subject

to the

[Guest guest]

Namaste Joyce,

>Dharma - I don't really think it matters much which practices a person uses.

>Whatever suits you... "different strokes for different folks." When I

>know someone who goes from teacher to teacher and tradition to tradition, I

>suggest that he should just pick one and stay with it.

>

>Joyce -No I don't think it matters either. Just seems to be chance and

>karma. Although the Sufi's say nothing happens by accident. I rather think

>every being is on whatever 'path', if it can even be called that, that

>best suits them. In Buddhism there are said to be 84,000 teachings, which

>simply means a teaching for every being existent and not necessary formal

>traditional path. I tend to think of my path as the labor of child-birth

>and that is what has stuck,

 

I love it! St. Paul said, "The whole creation is groaning in labor with

the birth of the sons of God."

 

And in the Mysteries they talked about the one who "gives birth to his own

father."

> even though I have moved through many path teachings (they are all the

>same). If one is 'self-medicating' one doesn't always find the correct

>remedies.

 

Actually, if I use any name for my path, it's a name I found afterward. At

the time it just sort of happened. Maybe I should call it the Topsy

path - like her, it "just grew." )) I don't like to charge for teaching

this because it came to me free and easy from the universe, and it seems I

should give back the same way.

>>But, there is a difference in that in Buddhist practice, it is very

>>important to prepare the mind for recognition of emptiness and its full

>>meaning through the awakening of altruistic mind - Metta, Bodhisattva,

>>Tonglen, Brahma Viharas etc. Without this the awakening can be rough as

>>the shift in realty can be overwhelming.

 

"the awakening of altruistic mind" - that's an interesting concept. No, I

don't think children naturally feel that. And I can see in retrospect how

it developed in me. Now in teaching I talk about the Boddhisattva vow

because I think DK was right in saying that the best protection is strong

purpose. When the time comes to go - or fall - into the All, that vow -

that strong purpose - will bring one back again.

>Dharma - That makes sense, though I'm not sure how much one can be

>prepared. When I

>went into the All, it took me three years to get back to "normal" human

>life. I worked at it because I had small children who needed me... and a

>sense that there were other things for me to do here.

>

>Joyce - Love to hear that. Same for me. When I had my first launch out

>of ego, it was pretty ghastly. I had been in Zen sesshin. I only had a

>short time away from my family so determined to do or/and die as they say

>in zen. I sat all the time and followed a practice of breathing my way up

>the spine which was visualized as bamboo. Hit total silence and then the

>universe exploded. No separate self left in one way but in another, lots

>of ego having a fit about it.

 

Afterwards, you mean?

> I'm not going to give the details, someone might go and do this practice.

 

Yes. I would like to write a little book, but I still hesitate about

whether to give those kinds of details. How to balance sharing against the

possibility of hurting someone...

> So, I went home but the experience kept on. No sleep was the worst as

>when I closed my eyes, I could still see.

 

Yes, no dark left to sleep in. That happened to me many years later

when my Kundalini ws awakened... but your powerful experience awakened

your K. right then... in a big crash, I guess! )

>Guessing what was going on I went to the library for books on Kundalini,

>then found a list of addresses of people related to Kundalini Yoga. I

>wrote to them all. The two letters that came back that were the kindest

>were from the people associated with Gopi Krishna who invited me along to

>India -laugh- and the second was from a disciple of Amrit Desai. She was

>kind and supportive so I thought that her teacher might be a good one and

>went along for retreat. And, if she had experienced what I described, then

>I wasn't crazy. Even before Amrit Desai came into the hall, the raging

>energy that was causing suffering suddenly calmed and mellowed and I felt

>sane again (if not 'normal', I could cope)

 

Wonderful!

> So I hung around with this group for awhile and learned to take care of

>myself. Lots of shakti-pat helped with the blockages. I also attended

>Darshan with Desai's teacher who was still alive and living at the Ashram.

> He was probably the greatest being I have ever encountered.

 

Wonderful experiences... you were fortunate to find such people.

> I eventually went back to vipassana. The most useful for me as lay

>householder and I tend to cling to energy so work with clinging. And as I

>have been sort of backtracking I have learned more about integrating

>whatever arises. Welcoming and being friendly to everything works. Now,

>instead of the raging energy of the All, there is occasional dropping off

>of all body/mind and just peace. And when I experience various degrees of

>merging with any 'other', this no longer is a problem. I don't make a

>fuss. There's a saying from the Tibetans, "Don't make a fuss'.

 

)))))))) Funny! )))))

> The Tibetan teachers have probably been the most helpful. The bardo

>practices very good for 'getting used to'.

 

Yes, I like the Tibetan teachings. And the only Tibetan teachers I've met

were wonderful. Rinpoche is this short, not very handsome man - but

radiant! When he came into the room, there was this huge loving presence!

>I spent some time with a therapist working with schizophrenics

 

Ouch!

> - a student of RD Laing, who I also met at a rather rolicking retreat.

>This helped me sort out 'ego' a bit. I didn't consider myself mentally

>ill but this group of people were a let your hair down look at anything no

>holds barred kind of group so lots to learn about integrating. Laing's

>approach is to let people fall apart and then let then put themselves back

>together again but provide a safe place for them to do this.

 

Sounds like you were fortunate in finding good people. I've known the

wrong kind of therapists to do a lot of damage.

> Not as good as an ashram but what I had. I eventually went on my way

>back to the Buddhists. All this time of course, like yourself, I was

>being 'normal' for poor family and also struggling with massive

>depression.

 

My depression, though I didn't call it that, was a matter of having to stay

in this world, knowing that I should not, must not, just go back to the All

and stay there... which I wanted all the time.

>I have no doubt that if I had had better preparation, less selfishness,

>more wisdom (a teacher who some English, something I've rarely had) then

>things might have moved more harmoniously.

 

I don't know - that sudden onslaught of Kundalini!

>'Emptiness' as experience of the universe has moved from harsh impersonal

>uncontrollable rather nasty never ending bad LSD trip

 

This is not a description of experience of the All, is it?

> to a more loving and compassionate experience. Probably because of the

>change of this mind. Lots of interesting (intriguing-ha) phenomena and so

>on that I'm still integrating. Completely lost all desire for sex.

 

I've heard that can be a Kundalini symptom... also can come from low

testosterone.

>But, I have no preferences as to path. For example, once when we were

>living in Kenya, a rather horrible situation occured in our neighbourhood.

> Behind all our posh houses was a slum community of about 20,000 people.

>With fifteen minutes notice, government bulldozers arrived to clear them

>out...they were sitting on valuable property. Everything they had smashed

>to ruble. Of course, our posh part of the community was horrifed by this.

> But what to do? I was usually not allowed to mix out of my community and

>doing so would put my husband's work in jeprody. But, I heard a voice,

>really loudly and clearly, "That which ye do for the least of these my

>brethern, do ye also unto me." So, friends an I organized our various rich

>communities and schools and off we went to help. I met the Catholic

>sisters who sat in the ruble and refused to move. Long story, but one of

>the major learning experiences. The daily encounter in the market with

>beggars with no legs (they sat on little wheeled wagon things) was also

>major practice. They gave me their blessings more graciously then I gave

>coins. Exercise in mindfulness practice=discover that the pile of rags

>one passes on the street is actually a lepor. Horrified, put large paper

>money in his tin. Realize too late that as he is deaf as well as blind,

>he won't have heard the paper money and someone would have stolen it from

>him.

 

What experiences you have had in the world! I've never been in such places

in this life...

>A few months ago, I encountered someone on a list. Nice kind fellow,

>physicist but had gone blind. I began to send him material for his talking

>computer and we have become friends. Recently, I hit the pit again. It

>has to be bad for me to ask for help, but since my friend is a shaman, I

>emailed him an SOS. Being still very hard nosed, I didn't expect much

>practical help from a shaman via email. But, the minute he got my email he

>replied saying that 'Coconut' his white polar bear helper was on the way.

> As I lay emobilized in bed, I could feel this huge protective presence.

> Coconut didn't actually do anything but be there protecting while I went

>through whatever it was. I then proceded to be a little worried because

>Coconut was only on loan.

 

))))) You also could help people at a distance, especially since you

have active K. Email letters or an email address is just a way to connect.

> My friend said I could find my own helper, which again I didn't think

>likely. But, recently, a seagull has appeared. When I get really

>contracted, Seagull appears and hey presto, expanded into spaciousness.

>Worth being depressed to experience.

 

Beautiful! Sychronicity - at the Full Moon just passed (June 5/6), the

Moon was on 15 Sagittarius and the Sbaian symbol for that degree is:

>SAGITTARIUS 15': SEA GULLS FLY AROUND A SHIP IN EXPECTATION OF FOOD.

 

Rudhyar says: "The sea gulls here symbolize the more wild and normally

untamable energies of the human soul, but they too can develop a kind of

domesticated dependence upon the by-products of man's adventures within the

realm of the unconscious (the sea).

 

And the Moon was conjunct Pluto just 2 degrees away. That symbol is:

>SAGITTARIUS 13°: THE GREAT PYRAMID AND THE SPHINX.

 

Rudhyar says:

>KEYNOTE: The enduring power of occult knowledge and of its quasi-divine

>Custodians...

>

>The belief in an Original Tradition based on the perfect knowledge of the

>archetypal principles and forms which underlie all manifestations of life

>on this Earth (and by extension in the cosmos) is deeply rooted in man's

>consciousness. The Great Pyramid and the Sphinx are witnesses to such a

>Tradition, especially for the Western world. The symbol implies that such

>an archetypal knowledge remains the foundation upon which men's minds can

>still build solid and valid formulations, as new evolutionary developments

>are pending.

>

>This symbol suggests that this occult knowledge and the traditional

>process of acquiring it is still available, and that by accepting their

>principles modern man can best meet the challenge of our present world

>crisis. The symbol, interpreted from a personal point of view, points to

>the greatness of a Soul's past achievements and the value of trying to

>reevoke this past. What is revealed is THE POWER OF SPIRITUAL ANCESTRY.

 

The Sun was at 15 Gemini... the original symbol is:

>GEMINI 15°: WOMAN AGITATOR MAKES AN IMPASSIONED PLEA TO A CROWD.

 

Marc Edmund Jones says: "Rising of the human soul in demand for recognition

by the outer nature of the needs of inner being. Self-assertion."

 

Rudhyar says: "What has been 'discovered' not only needs to be discussed

and tested through an intellectual exhange which permits its formulation,

it also demands 'exteriorization.' This implies the act of dealing with

those who are still unaware of the new knowledge or realization."

> When I was living in Kenya, I had met an old blind Boran shaman who

>shared his life with me for awhile.

 

Two blind shamans?? Talk about archetypes! )

>So - all thus must sound quite mad.

 

Not at all. Eminently sane! Thanks for sharing.

>But the advantage in being a rather dim spiritual traveler is that over

>thirty years I have encountered many spectacularily compassionate beings

>willing to teach. All experience seems to have come down to breaking the

>closed nut of this heart wide open.

 

With the Kundalini work, my heart chakra was the last to be worked on...

my weakest link, I thought.

> Other than that, I know nothing at all. I think there's progress because

>mad people are at home with me, for awhile not alone, they know they don't

>frighten me, and old ladies and other people stop and start talking to me

>in the shops.

 

Yes!!

>I have been living a parallel life with a husband and others who know

>nothing of all this

 

That must be so difficult! I think I was often an embarrassment to my

kids, but now my son lives near me and we have much in common (he's a very

private person, so I won't say more). And my daughter told me recently

that she had been thinking about how grateful she is that she was exposed

to all this in childhood... she says it makes her path much easier now.

>but I have written down everything so that one day my children and

>grandchildren will know more about who I was, it may help them.

 

Yes, and be sure your writings will get to them one way or another. You

might find you can say something about it, just enough to let them know

that if they ever have the interest, you have written something down. I

told my kids about the Kundalini... one completely disbelieved it, and the

other rolled on the floor laughing! )) But I wanted them to know that if

it ever happened to them, they could talk to me. And now I'm glad I did

tell them.

>The parallel lines are now closing into one single path which will

>eventually dissolve.

 

Your image makes me think of Teilhard's _Phenomen of Man_.

> Peace and love all around me even if there is still a few pits to fall into.

>

>Yes, nothing to do but be here, help if one can, be kind. Cope with being

>completely naked when with those wearing clothing and don't joggle them

>awake before they are ready. Have a few laughs and good wine.

 

Yes!! And don't make a fuss... and hang easy.

 

Love,

Dharma

[Guest guest]

Hi dear Wolf,

> dearest dharma and joyce.... thank-you for this open

>exchange....even since i was a little boy i have been easily able to

>retreat into the all....at some times more than others.....given my

>childhood up-bringing i have always shied away from 'spriitual' teachers

>or masters of any kind after learning out easily one is exploited &

>manipulted by those are hungry for authoity....so it was very unexpected

>for me when one day my beloved mira sent me with a very short email into

>the abode deeper than i had ever been before.....i did not sleep for like

>three days.....since then, i have used my years of off again and off again

>zen practice and lectio divina to soften the intensity of what i

>receive.....yet, i find that my heart remains always vulnerable and

>radiant....i have found peace in the abode of the beloved....sometime

>after this experience, mirror and i became personally involved with each

>other....this has been even more dramatic....it has grounded me to

>reality...to experience the full range of love with those in my daily

>life.....i do not think i will never find words to describe my

>experience....the Beloved is indeed my beloved in everyway

>imaginable....teacher, friend, lover, wife, mother, student.....

 

Your experience has been wonderful, and I thank you for sharing with us.

 

I hope you will forgive me if I suggest that you still have ahead of you

the experience of union with the Godhead, or Brahman, or the All. I think

when you know THAT, you won't be able to compare it with going "deeper than

I had ever been before."

 

I love you,

Dharma