playing in the garden

[Guest guest]

>> Being drunk was indeed very sober business.

It was time-consuming, and seemed to suck the joy out of my life.

Being sober is much more fun, joyful, and peaceful. Of course, now that

I don't have my "medicine" I have no effective way of dealing with the

ache in my chest (that I have come to believe is my longing for reunion

with God). Drinking and drugs initially made this ache go away... <<

Hello Mike. I've been away from the group for awhile (my southwestern

journey), so I didn't have a chance to welcome you when you hopped

aboard the digest. Greetings.

Thank you for the courage this one post from you reveals. I grew up

surrounded by alcoholics and didn't even know it, until in my early

30s, a significant other who was an AA member, invited me to a

meeting. It was like I was knocked between the eyes. They were all

talking about my...father, sister, aunt...etc., and then I discovered

Al Anon, where they were talking about me. I too had this ache,

lifelong, and I won't attribute it to my circumstances, only that my

life script put me in the position of wanting to be Whole.

There is an interesting series of public service commercials running

on television right now, where individual teens express something

about being against drugs via a particular creative medium, and then

at the end they say, "my name is X, and X (drawing, writing,

singing...) is my antidrug. These creative outlets were my anti-dote

against the insanity I grew up with, and yet, fulfilling as they are,

they were not enough. Yet, though I have glimpses of the Wholeness I

have sought, and these are enough to feed my ache and lead me to

continue my stumbling journey Home, I still play in the dirt

(actually, for me it is usually stones and twigs, feathers and things

that I use in my art). Nice to meet you. Shanti ~ Linda