Who is Poor Wee Tim?

June 13, 2001

Dear List,

Well, it was never my intention to glorify 'anyone' - this'Tim" (and

there but for the Grace of God go I)... nor would any Zen master

approve of anyone glorifying him. Of course, in conventional terms,

this person's actions were despicable and so forth. And how thrilling

and temporarily satisfying righteous anger at other is. If we look

around us, we see things like this occuring daily really. I have

lived a good part of my life in Third World countries, (as we like to

label them and tuck those folks conveniently into the back of our

mind), including eight years in Kenya. What is happening there, what

is continuing to happen in all of Africa and in all of Asia, without

any particular expression of outrage, is beyond description. And as

well, in my happy country of Canada, there is plenty of suffering and

oppression, perhaps not so apparent as in Africa. It is a matter of

degree. All conventional politics is dual, even when we are good

people thinking and doing the right thing. And conveniently overlooks

the idea of karma.

When the realization that all my efforts at political action were

really quite hopeless, were not eleviating any suffering and usually

making things worse, I decided that the only possible political

action left was to be a student of non-dualty, to explore the greed,

hatred and delusion, the cause of all suffering, in this egoistic

life as I live it, in this mind writing. What other response is

there? Then, at the very least, one is not adding to the grief.

Whoever this 'Tim' was, who knows? But whoever anyone on this list has

to arise in this mind as it contacts their expression through the

posts. This affords the opportunity to see into the moment this 'I'

and any greed, hatred and delusion. Most of my experience is with

Buddhism, but I don't identify this self here as a 'Buddhist'. This

is really only a model of reality, one of many, offering a view that

may or not offer insight into full reality. Since it seems to me

that Buddhism, and Advaita meet at the point of exploring this

'illness' of 'self', this delusion of 'I' and 'other' then I assumed

that encountering students of non-duality on this list would offer

insight into my own ponderings and exploration into this duality and

what non-dualty might be. This is happening. Rather fine practice.

I don't post anything from Buddhist thought with the agenda that Im

going to sort people out. This would be pretty dual and delusional.

I post whatever seems to be passing through mind. It happens to be

what I have on my desk currently. Sometimes a person will respond

from where they locate themselves in the moment. Sometimes their

response sorts out some tangle in mind here and even better,

sometimes I laugh. But, always the opportunity to look at duality

through projection is present. Do 'I' like something, or some

imagined other, dislike something? feel neutral...whatever, one sees

the antics of 'I' present at these times. Mostly there is equanimity

to all of it and appreciation.

Of course it goes without saying that one's concern is for any and all

'victims'. But when I watched a few of the interviews with Tim's

victims, I saw those who continued to suffer in hell, looking for

some sort of relief through angry vengence, and finding none, and

those who, with great courage and spirit, determined to make their

suffering count for something, to help and support others. These

people I find most inspiring. If they can do this, why not I? They at

least move into better karma and use their terrible suffering as their

path. All beings will suffer what is for them the limit of suffering

at some point in their lives. People around them may not even notice,

their suffering may not be a public spectacle, an 'orderly event' as

CNN put it. We can kill another, but let us do it in orderly

fashion.

So, all students of non-duality, who are the victims, who is 'Tim'?

Who are the enlightened ones, who are the suffering masses? Who are

the prisoners filling the prisons, who are the millions at this

moment dying? Who are the tortured, who are those doing the deed. The

list is endless. Who is walking the walk beyond the talk? Yes, I am

angry beyond words, at all of 'it'!

Who is nasty Tim and who is good little me? Who do I hate today?

Joyce

June 13, 2001

beloved joyce....essentially this is wht the poem i wrote for tim was

about....many failed to see the irony in some of the

words.....another irony in that it inspired a verbal violence is some

reponses which is what i was objecting to anyway....senseless violence

propagating itself.....the ironig 'you' and 'your' id deliberate....is

you the godhead....is you you the reade....is you white wolfe/the

witness talking to mark/the poet....or is all of us?......dualities

within dualites arising into a i hoped a fairly non-dual

commentary.....over on another list Father Patrick Collins

immediately picked up this so the poem has served its

purpose.....keep writing....i love your posts.....^^~~~~~

further up and further in,