Fellow Feeling.

[Guest guest]

Sometimes I get a feeling of non-dualist deja vu. What is that, you

might ask? It's when someone else's experience seems to be a

re-visitation of my own.

Harsha writes," My feeling was that one should remain focused and

meditate and realize the Self and be done with it."

This was exactly my feeling after I got Saktipat from Baba Muktananda.

I was somewhat older than Harsha, but I was what the scriptures refer

to as the perfect candidate. I was 27 or 28 years old and had

recently finished producing the Woodstock film soundtrack and the

first album had knocked Paul McCartney out of the number one spot on

the Billboard charts. I had achieved most of my goals in life; I was

richer than I'd ever imagined being, I was successful in a rare and

difficult profession and I was an alcoholic and clearly, by anyone's

standards, a drowning man. Harsha's attitude translated into the way

I looked at things at the time was "You Sit and get it. Anything else

is a waste of time." In my case this didn't indicate a very balanced

life, but that was in itself a kind of norm. I wasn't a very balanced

kind of fellow.

Later he wrote, "Pure Ahimsa is an expression of inner knowledge that

we are the same in suffering and in bliss and in being. In some ways,

I am more easily touched now by life and people then when I was very

young."

This is doubly true for me. At times, I still look at myself with my

old bhava, and I wonder what kind of a sap I've become. I can be

moved to tears by the very kind of thing that a younger version of

myself would have found sentimental and maudlin, possibly even

bathetic. Like Charles Dickens, I sometimes accuse myself of

emotional vulgarity. It may be true.

Sail on, Harsha, this trip isn't over yet.

yours in the bonds,

eric

[Guest guest]

Hi Eric,

 

Thank you for your beautiful post. I have been thinking also of Harsha's words

all day. The past months have been a wild ride of kundalini, being pushed

through rapid and often painful and disorienting evolution. Part of that

experience is the ever widening field of feeling the emotions of others and

opening the heart to my own. Memories of things held in come back, things

floating in consciousness, mine and others', bring on the tears.

 

I used to teach high school in Chicago's worst neighborhoods. Many of my

students suffered unspeakable abuse and violence. Now, I will be walking the

dog down the sunny street, and remember a particular student or incident and

start sobbing as I go...like you Eric, part of me wants to restrain that excess,

pull it all back in and act a little more normal, get back some of that old

thick skin when there was separation between me and everyone else... But

then, deep down, I would much rather just sit in a room with you and Harsha and

have a good cry.

 

Jill

>>> EBlackstead 08/03/01 15:22 PM >>>

Dear Harsha & Friends,

 

Sometimes I get a feeling of non-dualist deja vu. What is that, you might

ask? It's when someone else's experience seems to be a re-visitation of my

own.

 

Harsha writes," My feeling was that one should remain focused and meditate

and realize the Self and be done with it."

 

This was exactly my feeling after I got Saktipat from Baba Muktananda. I was

somewhat older than Harsha, but I was what the scriptures refer to as the

perfect candidate. I was 27 or 28 years old and had recently finished

producing the Woodstock film soundtrack and the first album had knocked Paul

McCartney out of the number one spot on the Billboard charts. I had achieved

mot of my goals in life; I was richer than I'd ever imagined being, I was

successful in a rare and difficult profession and I was an alcoholic and

clearly, by anyone's standards, a drowning man. Harsha's attitude translated

into the way I looked at things at the time was "You Sit and get it. Anything

else is a waste of time." In my case this didn't indicate a very balanced

life, but that was in itself a kind of norm. I wasn't a very balanced kind of

fellow.

 

Later he wrote, "Pure Ahimsa is an expression of inner knowledge that we are

the same in suffering and in bliss and in being. In some ways, I am more

easily touched now by life and people then when I was very young."

 

This is doubly true for me. At times, I still look at myself with my old

bhava, and I wonder what kind of a sap I've become. I can be moved to tears

by the very kind of thing that a younger version of myself would have found

sentimental and maudlin, possibly even bathetic. Like Charles Dickens, I

sometimes accuse myself of emotional vulgarity. It may be true.

 

Sail on, Harsha, this trip isn't over yet.

 

yours in the bonds,

eric

[Guest guest]

Just to "fourth" this observation you all have made about being so

easily moved to tears... tho even the sadness often feels more like a

form of happiness. This afternoon, a friend was telling me about her

mother's recent funeral. There were seven brothers and sisters and

they wrote her eulogy together, all of them agreeing she just was

love. It seemed so beautiful to me, it made me cry happy tears.

Love,

Gloria

- Jill Eggers

Friday, August 03, 2001 4:00 PM

Re: Fellow Feeling.

Hi Eric,Thank you for your beautiful post. I have been thinking also

of Harsha's words all day. The past months have been a wild ride of

kundalini, being pushed through rapid and often painful and

disorienting evolution. Part of that experience is the ever widening

field of feeling the emotions of others and opening the heart to my

own. Memories of things held in come back, things floating in

consciousness, mine and others', bring on the tears. I used to teach

high school in Chicago's worst neighborhoods. Many of my students

suffered unspeakable abuse and violence. Now, I will be walking the

dog down the sunny street, and remember a particular student or

incident and start sobbing as I go...like you Eric, part of me wants

to restrain that excess, pull it all back in and act a little more

normal, get back some of that old thick skin when there was

separation between me and everyone else... But then, deep down, I

would much rather just sit in a room with you and Harsha and have a

good cry. :)Jill

[Guest guest]

, "Gloria Lee" <glee@i...> wrote:

> Just to "fourth" this observation you all have made about being so

easily moved to tears... tho even the sadness often feels more like a

form of happiness. This afternoon, a friend was telling me about her

mother's recent funeral. There were seven brothers and sisters and

they wrote her eulogy together, all of them agreeing she just was

love. It seemed so beautiful to me, it made me cry happy tears.

>

> Love,

> Gloria

Namaste Glo,

 

Yes I have had the experience as have others but it is emotion and

samskara forming........One has to see the feeling without becoming

it.......ONS...Tony.

[Guest guest]

dear tony....the perceiver and the perceived are not two but one...the

act of perceiving unites us in an integral embrace so that it becomes

impossible to distinguish where suffering ends and compassion

begins.....the point of contact is where tony ends ands mark

begins....i send you the bodhisattvas manjusri to silence our raging

minds and kwan yin to unfold our broken hearts....subtlety is always

just around the endless bend in the way which spirals ever up and in

into what lies beyond.....interbeing with you in love, joy,

equanimity and compassion....^^~~~~~

further up and further in,

white wolfe

p.s. i was watching "The Princess Bride" with my beloved mira and

daughter sophia.....at one point the Wesley the love tells his

beloved Buttercup....if anyone tells you that life is without pain,

they are trying to sell you something.....which brings to mind the

wise saying.....let the buyer beware!.....namaste!

-

Tony O'Clery <aoclery >

<>

Saturday, August 04, 2001 2:19 AM

Re: Fellow Feeling.

> , "Gloria Lee" <glee@i...> wrote:> > Just

to "fourth" this observation you all have made about being so >

easily moved to tears... tho even the sadness often feels more like a

> form of happiness. This afternoon, a friend was telling me about her

> mother's recent funeral. There were seven brothers and sisters and >

they wrote her eulogy together, all of them agreeing she just was >

love. It seemed so beautiful to me, it made me cry happy tears.> > >

> Love,> > Gloria> Namaste Glo,> > Yes I have had the experience as

have others but it is emotion and > samskara forming........One has

to see the feeling without becoming > it.......ONS...Tony.> > >

------------------------ Sponsor

---------------------~-->> Small business owners...> Tell us what you

think!> http://us.click./vO1FAB/txzCAA/ySSFAA/bpSolB/TM>

---~->>

> /join> >

> > > > All

paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and

subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not

different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of

the nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always

Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart

to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the

Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It

Self. Welcome all to a.> > > > Your use of

Groups is subject to > >

[Guest guest]

Tony:

 

Yes I have had the experience as have others but it is emotion and

samskara forming........One has to see the feeling without becoming

it.......ONS...Tony.

 

 

Being all experience, feeling, becoming and forming,

there is no one to have it or discard it.

No one 'has to', for there is no one to have anything.

All is the becoming, as it already is before it becomes.

All is the experience, as it was long before it was called an experience.

And in the undoing of itself, nothing is lost.

Love and light,

Mira

[Guest guest]

Hi Jill, Eric, Harsha,

>Thank you for your beautiful post. I have been thinking also of Harsha's

>words all day. The past months have been a wild ride of kundalini, being

>pushed through rapid and often painful and disorienting evolution.

 

Yes... a stressful year for me too. Three moves and something like a

marriage and divorce.

>Part of that experience is the ever widening field of feeling the emotions

>of others and opening the heart to my own.

 

I had lived alone for a long time, had been celibate for 13 years. I guess

it was time.... "Feeling the emotions of others and opening my heart to my

own" - yes.

>Memories of things held in come back, things floating in consciousness,

>mine and others', bring on the tears.

 

It seems in the last few years I've met so many souls that I knew in other

lives - maybe clearing karma in both the inner and outer ways.

>I used to teach high school in Chicago's worst neighborhoods. Many of my

>students suffered unspeakable abuse and violence. Now, I will be walking

>the dog down the sunny street, and remember a particular student or

>incident and start sobbing as I go...like you Eric, part of me wants to

>restrain that excess, pull it all back in and act a little more normal,

>get back some of that old thick skin when there was separation between me

>and everyone else... But then, deep down, I would much rather just sit

>in a room with you and Harsha and have a good cry.

 

Sounds like you've been clearing a lot of karma too... getting rid of

blocks and barriers.

 

This year I have often felt that I shouldn't be having problems with stress

and emotions. But a long time ago I asked for understanding and wisdom so

I could help others. And that understanding so often comes through very

human experiences - like the time I lost a baby and then started getting

calls to go talk to women who lost babies.

 

This is all growth and learning, and no learning is ever lost. If we ask

for guidance, we get it - and we don't always see until sometime later why

something happened.

 

Love,

Dharma