Parvati the Love Goddess: Tales of Marriage and Devotion

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Parvati the Love Goddess: Tales of Marriage and Devotion

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The Indian tradition is rich with goddesses. So varied are her

manifestations and names that every village and every scripture,

every art and artist, create their own unique image of her. While

sometimes she is a consort, at other times she is a fertility

goddess; at times she is a benevolent figure yet at others she is

horrific and malevolent. The tradition is especially replete with

a number of goddesses who are associated with Shiva. But the one

that is artistically and lovingly the most celebrated is Parvati.

Unlike Durga and Kali who assume their own independent religious

status in the Hindu pantheon and are worshipped and venerated

ritually, Parvati engages the greater attention of poets and

painters, musicians and dancers. Numerous are her aspects, varied

are her persona, multiple are her attributes and many her names.

Of all the mythic beings in the Hindu pantheon she is perhaps the

most loved and undoubtedly the most giving of her love. In her we

have the true celebration of Hindu womanhood. Of unsurpassed

sensual beauty, her endowment is not merely physical but

spiritual, not narcissistic but meant as an offering. In her, it

can be said that we have the grand personification of the Hindu

expression, as well as the concept of beauty.

 

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In classical mythology the raison d'être of Parvati's birth is to

lure Shiva into marriage and thus into the wider circle of

married life from which he is aloof as a lone ascetic, living in

the wilds of the mountains. The goddess represents the

complementary pole to the ascetic, world-denying tradition in the

Hindu ethos. In her role as maiden, wife, and later as a mother,

she extends Shiva's circle of activity into the realm of the

householder, where his stored-up energy is released in positive

ways.

 

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Parvati's name, which means "she who dwells in the mountains" or

"she who is of the mountain," identify her with mountainous

regions. She was the daughter of Himavat (Lord of the mountains)

and his queen Mena. She is usually described as very beautiful.

She showed a keen interest in Shiva from the outset, repeating

his name to herself and taking delight in hearing about his

appearance and deeds. While she is a child a sage comes to her

house and after examining the marks on her body predicts that she

will marry a naked yogi. When it becomes clear that she is

destined to marry Shiva, her parents are usually described as

feeling honored. Parvati too is delighted.

 

At some point during Parvati's attempts to attract Shiva's

attention for the purpose of marriage, the god of love, Kama, is

sent by the gods to awaken Shiva's lust. When he attracts Shiva's

attention with sounds and scents of spring, and tries to perturb

Shiva with his intoxicating weapons, Shiva burns him to ashes

with the fire from his middle eye. But steadfast in her devotion,

Parvati persists in her quest to win Shiva as her husband by

setting out to perform austerities.

 

One of the most effective ways to achieve what a person wants in

traditional Hinduism is to perform tapas, "ascetic austerities."

If one is persistent and heroic enough, one will generate so much

heat that the gods will be forced to grant the ascetic his or her

wish in order to save themselves and the world from being

scorched. Parvati's method of winning Shiva is thus a common

approach to fulfilling one's desires. It is also appropriate,

however, in terms of demonstrating to Shiva that she can compete

with him in his own realm, that she has the inner resources,

control, and fortitude to cut herself off from the world and

completely master her physical needs. By performing tapas,

Parvati abandons the world of the householder and enters the

realm of the world renouncer, namely Shiva's world. Most versions

of the myth describe her as outdoing all the great sages in her

austerities. She performs all the traditional mortifications,

such as sitting in the midst of four fires in the middle of

summer, remaining exposed to the elements during the rainy season

and during the winter, living on leaves or air only, standing on

one leg for years, and so on. Eventually she accumulates so much

heat that the gods are made uncomfortable and persuade Shiva to

grant Parvati's wish, so that she will cease her efforts.

 

The marriage is duly arranged and elaborately undertaken. Shiva's

marriage procession, which includes most of the Hindu pantheon,

is often described at length. A common motif during the marriage

preparations is Mena's outrage when she actually sees Shiva for

the first time. She cannot believe that her beautiful daughter is

about to marry such an outrageous-looking character; in some

versions, Mena threatens suicide and faints when told that the

odd-looking figure in the marriage procession is indeed her

future son-in-law.

 

After the two are married they depart to Mount Kailasha, Shiva's

favorite dwelling place, and immerse themselves completely in

sexual dalliance, which continues uninterruptedly for long

periods of time. The Love god Kama is resuscitated when Shiva

embraces Parvati and the sweat from her body mingles with the

ashes of the burned god.

 

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Their lovemaking is so intense that it shakes the cosmos, and the

gods become frightened. They are frightened at the prospect of

what a child will be like from the union of two such potent

deities. They fear the child's extraordinary powers. They thus

plan to interrupt Shiva and Parvati's lovemaking. Vishnu goes

with his entourage of gods to Kailasha and waits patiently

outside the quarters of Shiva. Many years passed and yet Shiva

remained closeted with Parvati. Vishnu spoke in a shrill and

plaintive voice and entreated Shiva to come out and listen to

their problem. When Shiva disregarded this, Agni (Fire) disguised

himself as a pigeon and entered the bedchamber of Shiva. Parvati

immediately sensed that her privacy was violated. Shiva withdrew

and a drop of his semen fell on the ground. Agni in the form of

the dove ate the drop of semen. Parvati however was disturbed and

angry that the gods had assembled and interrupted her erotic

pleasures, and cursed them that all their wives would be barren.

She was particularly enraged at Agni for having eaten the seed of

Shiva.

 

When Agni was unable to bear the fiery seed he went to the banks

of the Ganga. At that moment, the wives of the seven sages had

come down to bathe. Six of the wives felt cold and went towards

Agni. Agni dropped the seed and the seed entered the wives and

they became pregnant. When the sages found this out they

admonished their wives who placed the embryo on one of the peaks

of the Himalayas. Thus was born Kartikeya, a lustrous child with

six heads. Shiva and Parvati were delighted at the birth of their

son and it added much joy to Parvati who had longed for a child.

We are sometimes told that her breasts oozed milk in affection

when she first saw the child.

 

Parvati's maternal instincts were indeed the most powerful

emotions in her life. While Shiva exulted in his romantic

dalliance with her, the true mother in her longed for a child.

She would entreat Shiva to beget her a son and make her a mother

but the ascetic Shiva would hear nothing of it. She reminded

Shiva that no ancestral rituals are performed for a man who has

no descendants. Shiva assured her that he had no desire to be a

grahastha, householder, for such a state in life brings fetters.

Parvati was disheartened and seeing her in that state Shiva

pulled a thread out of her red dress and made a son and gave it

to her. Parvati held him to her breast and he came to life. As he

sucked on her milk he smiled and Parvati, pleased, gave the son

to Shiva. Shiva was surprised that Parvati had breathed life in a

child made of fabric but warned that the planet Saturn would

prove inauspicious for this child and as he spoke those words,

the child's head fell to the ground. Parvati was overcome with

grief. Shiva tried unsuccessfully to put the head back together.

A voice in the sky said that only the head of someone facing

north would stick to this child. Shiva deputed Nandi to find such

a person. Nandi soon found Indra's elephant Airavat lying with

his head facing north and began to cut it. Indra intervened but

Nandi was eventually successful, although in the struggle one of

the tusks of the elephant was broken. Nandi took the head to

Shiva and thus was born Ganesha. The gods celebrated the birth

and Parvati was pleased.

 

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In a strange myth it is stated that Parvati had a third child,

Andhaka, and an interesting legend is narrated behind his birth.

In jest Parvati closed Shiva's eyes with her delicate hands and

at once a darkness engulfed the world. The hands of the goddess

were drenched in Shiva's fluid born of passion, and when this was

heated by the heat of Shiva's third eye it grew into a horrific

child, blind and gruesome. But Parvati, true to her nature,

lovingly cared for this child as well. But as Andhaka grew, he

became a demon lusting for his own mother, and was eventually put

to death by Shiva.

 

For the most part Shiva and Parvati's married and family life is

portrayed as harmonious, blissful and calm. In iconography the

two are typically shown sitting in happy, intimate embrace. There

were also many moments of philosophical discourse between the

two. While Shiva taught Parvati the doctrine of Vedanta, Parvati

responded by teaching him the doctrines of Sankhya, for if Shiva

was the perfect teacher, Parvati too, as a yogini was no less.

Parvati was constantly by Shiva's side, encouraging, assisting

and, participating in every activity of his.

 

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An important part of Shiva's daily routine was the preparation of

bhang, his favorite intoxicant. Parvati would lovingly collect

the best bhang leaves, crush them and then filter the decoction

through a clean muslin cloth. At other times Parvati would help

Shiva make a quilt that would keep them warm in the cold nights

at Kailasha. At yet other times she would sit by his feet

massaging them while Shiva reclined under a tree. Parvati's

greatest pleasure was to serve Shiva and cater to his every need.

Nothing was more important to her than being useful to her lord,

tending to his every comfort and ensuring that he would not lapse

into his solitary, self-denying ascetic ways. In these activities

she combined the roles of a caring wife and an affectionate

mother.

 

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But Shiva and Parvati do argue and insult each other from time to

time. Bengali accounts of Shiva and Parvati often describe Shiva

as an irresponsible, hemp-smoking husband who cannot look after

himself. Parvati is portrayed as the long-suffering wife who

often complains from time to time to her mother but who always

remains steadfast to her husband.

 

But Shiva too was passionate in his love for Parvati. Of the many

games they played the one of great significance was the game of

dice. Once it so happened that Parvati was initially losing to

Shiva, but then gradually the tables turned and Shiva lost

everything he had staked in the game, including the crescent

moon, his necklace and earrings. When Parvati demanded that Shiva

give everything he had staked, there was a fight between the two,

much to the anguish of their attendants. Parvati removed Shiva's

snake, the crescent moon and even his loincloth. The onlookers

were put to shame and Shiva too was enraged and opened his third

eye. Following this incident, the two separated. Shiva retreated

into the wilderness and Parvati into her quarters. But she was

tormented by this separation and at the bidding of her companions

went in search of Shiva. She took the form of a shabari, a tribal

woman, and approached Shiva who was deep in meditation. Shiva was

attracted towards the shabari but when he realized that she was

none other than Parvati, he realized his mistake and united with

her much to their joy.

 

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On another occasion, Parvati feels pique when Shiva calls her by

the nickname Kali (blackie), which Parvati takes as a slur on her

appearance. She resolves to rid herself of her dark complexion

and does so by performing austerities. Having assumed a golden

complexion, she then becomes known by the name Gauri (the bright

or golden one). In some versions of the myth, her discarded, dark

complexion or sheath gives birth to or becomes a warrior goddess

who undertakes heroic feats or combat against demons.

 

The presence of an alter ego or a dark, violent side to Parvati

is suggested in several myths in which demons threaten the cosmos

and Parvati is asked to help the gods by defeating the demon in

question. Typically, when Parvati grows angry at the prospect of

war, a violent goddess is born from her wrath and proceeds to

fight on Parvati's behalf. This deity is often identified as the

bloodthirsty goddess Kali. For the most part, however, the myths

emphasize Parvati's milder side. So out of character is Parvati

on the battlefield that another goddess, it seems, must be

summoned to embody her wrath and dissociate this fury from

Parvati herself.

 

The main theme of the Parvati cycle of myths is clear. The

association between Parvati and Shiva represents the perennial

tension in Hinduism between the ascetic ideal and householder

ideal. Parvati, for the most part, represents the householder.

Her mission is to lure Shiva into the world of marriage, sex, and

children, to tempt him away from asceticism, yoga, and

otherwordly preoccupations. In this role Parvati is cast as a

figure who upholds the order of dharma, who enhances life in the

world, who represents the beauty and attraction of worldly,

sexual life, who cherishes the house and society rather than the

forest, the mountains, or the ascetic life. Parvati civilizes

Shiva with her presence; indeed, she domesticates him. Of her

role in relation to Shiva in the hymns of Manikkavacakar, a

ninth-century poet-saint from South India, it has been said:

"Shiva, the great unpredictable 'madman', is rendered momentarily

sane (i.e. behaves in a socially acceptable manner) when in the

company of the goddess. . . Contact with his properly cultured

spouse seems to connect him with ordinary social reality and

temporarily domesticates him."

 

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Throughout Hindu mythology it is well known that one of Shiva's

principal functions is the destruction of cosmos. In fact, Shiva

has about him a wild, unpredictable, destructive aspect that is

often mentioned. As the great cosmic dancer, he periodically

performs the tandava, an especially violent dance. Wielding a

broken battle-ax, he dances so wildly that the cosmos is

destroyed completely. In descriptions of this dance, Shiva's

whirling arms and flying locks are said to crash into the

heavenly bodies, knocking them off course or destroying them

utterly. The mountains shake and the oceans heave as the world is

destroyed by his violent dancing. Parvati, in contrast, is

portrayed as a patient builder, one who follows Shiva about,

trying to soften the violent effects of her husband. She is a

great force for preservation and reconstruction in the world and

as such offsets the violence of Shiva. A seventeenth century

Tamil work pictures Parvati as a patient child who creates the

worlds in the form of little houses. Shiva is pictured as

constantly frustrating her purpose by destroying what she has so

carefully built.

 

The crazy old madman stands in front,

Dancing, destroying the beautiful little house that

You have built in play.

You don't become angry, but every time (he destroys

It) you build it again.

 

When Shiva does his violent tandava dance, Parvati is described

as calming him with soft glances, or she is said to complement

his violence with a slow, creative step of her own.

 

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Parvati's goal in her relationship with Shiva is nothing less

than the domestication of the lone, ascetic god whose behavior

borders on madness. Shiva is indifferent to social propriety,

does not care about offspring, declares woman to be a hindrance

to the spiritual life, and is disdainful of the trappings of the

householder's life. Parvati tries to involve him in the worldly

life of the householder by arguing that he should observe

conventions if he loves her and wants her. She persuades him, for

example, to marry her according to the proper rituals, to observe

custom, instead of simply running off with her. She is less

successful, however, in getting him to change his attire and

ascetic habits. She often complains of his nakedness and finds

his ornaments disgraceful. Usually prompted by her mother,

Parvati sometimes complains that she does not have a proper house

to live in. Shiva, as is well known, does not have a house but

prefers to live in caves, on mountains, or in forests or to

wander the world as a homeless beggar. Many myths delight in

Shiva's response to Parvati's domestic pleas for a house. When

she complains that the rains will soon come and that she has no

house to protect her, Shiva simply takes her to the high mountain

peaks above the clouds where it does not rain. Elsewhere, he

describes his "house" as the universe and argues that an ascetic

understands the whole world to be his dwelling place. These

philosophic arguments never satisfy Parvati, but she rarely, if

ever, wins this argument and gains a house.

 

Shiva is a god of excesses, both ascetic and sexual, and Parvati

plays the role of modifier. As a representative of the

householder ideal, she represents the ideal of controlled sex,

namely, married sex, which is opposed to both asceticism and

eroticism.

 

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The theme of conflict, tension, or opposition between the way of

the ascetic and the way of the householder in the mythology of

Parvati and Shiva yields to a vision of reconciliation,

interdependence, and symbiotic harmony in a series of images that

combine the two deities. Three such images or themes are central

to the mythology, iconography, and philosophy of Parvati:

 

1). The theme of Shiva-Shakti,

 

2). The image of Shiva as Ardhanareshwara (the Lord who is half

woman), and

 

3). The image of the linga and yoni.

 

Shiva Shakti:

 

The idea that the great male gods all possess an inherent power

through which they undertake creative activity is assumed in

Hindu philosophical thought. When this power, or Shakti, is

personified, it is always in the form of a goddess. Parvati,

quite naturally, assumes the identity of Shiva's Shakti. She is

the force underlying and impelling creation. In this active,

creative role she is identified with prakriti (nature), whereas

Shiva is identified with purusha (pure spirit). As prakriti,

Parvati represents the inherent tendency of nature to express

itself in concrete forms and individual beings. In this task,

however, it is understood that Parvati must be set in motion by

Shiva himself. She is not seen as antagonistic to him. Her role

as his Shakti is always interpreted as positive. Through Parvati,

Shiva (the Absolute) is able to express himself in the creation.

Without her he would remain inert, aloof, inactive. It is only in

association with her that Shiva is able to realize or manifest

his full potential. Parvati as Shakti not only complements Shiva,

she completes him.

 

A variety of images and metaphors are used to express this

harmonious interdependence. Shiva is said to be the male

principle throughout creation, Parvati the female principle;

Shiva is the sky, Parvati the earth; Shiva is subject, Parvati

object; Shiva is the ocean, Parvati the seashore; Shiva is the

sun, Parvati its light; Parvati is all tastes and smells, Shiva

the enjoyer of all tastes and smells; Parvati is the embodiment

of all individual souls, Shiva the soul itself; Parvati assumes

every form that is worthy to be thought of, Shiva thinks of all

such forms; Shiva is day, Parvati is night; Parvati is creation,

Shiva the creator; Parvati is speech, Shiva meaning; and so on.

In short, the two are actually one-different aspects of ultimate

reality-and as such are complementary, and not antagonistic.

 

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Ardhanareshwara:

 

The meaning of Ardhanareshwara form of Shiva is similar. The

image shows a half-male, half-female figure. The right side is

Shiva and is adorned with his ornaments; the left side is Parvati

and adorned with her ornaments.

 

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In the text of Shiva-Purana it is mentioned that the god Brahma

is unable to continue his task of creation because the creatures

that he has produced do not multiply. He propitiates Shiva and

requests him to come to his aid. Shiva then appears in his

half-male, half-female form. The hermaphrodite form splits into

Shiva and Parvati, and Parvati, at Brahma's request, pervades the

creation with her female nature, which duly awakens the male

aspect of creation into fertile activity.

 

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Without its female half, or female nature, the godhead as Shiva

is incomplete and is unable to proceed with creation. To an even

greater extent than the Shiva-shakti idea, the androgynous image

of Shiva and Parvati emphasizes that the two deities are

absolutely necessary to each other, and only in union can they

satisfy each other and fulfill themselves. In this form the

godhead transcends sexual particularity. God is both male and

female, both father and mother, both aloof and active, both

fearsome and gentle, both destructive and constructive, and so

on.

 

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Linga and Yoni:

 

The image of the linga in the yoni, which is the most common

image of the deity in Shiva temples, similarly teaches the lesson

that the tension between Shiva and Parvati is ultimately resolved

in interdependence. Parvati as a sexual entity succeeds in

tempering both Shiva's excessive detachment from the world and

his excessive sexual vigor. In the form of the yoni in

particular, Parvati fulfills and completes Shiva's creative

tendencies. As the great yogi who accumulates immense sexual

potency, he is symbolized by the linga. This great potency is

creatively released in sexual or marital contact with Parvati.

The ubiquitous image of the linga in the yoni symbolizes the

creative release in the ultimate erotic act of power stored

through asceticism. The erotic act is thus enhanced, made more

potent, fecund, and creative, by the stored up power of Shiva's

asceticism.

 

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Though most arts give Parvati a religious aura, including a

certain poetic truth, there is also an expression of both the

romantic and motherly love of Parvati. Possessing a measured

grace and refinement about them, these representations have a

certain earthy charm and spontaneity. In her this form, Parvati

is not only more endearing and accessible, but also belongs to

the shrine or the walls of the home. These are not mere icons or

visual poetry, but mythic beings reduced to everyday reality.

This real Parvati is the one that the common man can relate to,

worship and celebrate, in his or her own personal way.

 

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Nitin G.

 

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