did someone call the nondual police?

[Guest guest]

***********

Notes from a Mystic Law Compliance Officer

By Weasel Jones

I'm here to set you straight -- you and all your pantywaist friends

who think Buddhism is about inner revolution, doing your best and

coming to some sort of realization about your life. That ain't

Buddhism. Buddhism ain't Buddhism unless you're kicking butts and

taking names. That's what I do. I'm a Mystic Law Compliance Officer.

I carry a badge.Oh, sure, I've seen plenty of dharma bums like you.

You think the Mystic Law is self-enforcing. You think that the law of

cause and effect functions of its own accord and doesn't need any help

from me. That's where you're wrong, bucko.

{...}

.....I was working the Conformity detail out of Rampart the night the

call came through. The lady said her husband was starting to think

for himself. He was developing an appreciation for the fluidity and

non-dogmatic nature of the dharma. He was enjoying his Buddhist

practice, she said. I'll never forget the sound of her voice.

"Enjoying." It cut me to the core. It's the kind of thing you see a

lot of in my line of work. But you never get used to it. It can make

a tough guy crack. I've seen guys go mad.I grabbed a thick stock of

scriptural quotations. I needed the strongest ones, snipped out of

context and thus made more maneuverable and suitable to my purposes.

I planned to use them as a cudgel, which is the best way to use any

religious text, whether it's the Bible, the Koran or the Gosho.My job

is not a pretty one. As I sped to the scene, I reminded myself that I

have security clearance for and access to the Buddha's true intent.

I'm special. I'm not gonna let some punk challenge me and everything

I stand for.

When I showed up at the house, things had gotten ugly. The suspect was

in his bare feet, sitting on his living room floor with a bunch of

dangerous sympathizers, eating refreshments. They were engaged in

illicit conversation about the most sacred and secret teachings.

Raving lunatics all. When I flashed my badge and introduced myself,

the suspect menaced me with the following statement:"I have to find

the Buddha within me and within others. No one can do this for me. So

why should I bow to a religious authority who is -- ultimately --

arbitrary and impotent?"His group of pitiful dupes turned their

glassy eyes to me. (more at:

http://www.buddhajones.com/Articles/ComplianceOfficer.html