Discourse of enlightenment.

[Guest guest]

Greetings fellow avatars,

 

This is your new guru hamanzeeananda. I am of a long line of gurus

that come to give you the message.

 

'Do as I say not do as I do.'

 

I am presently collecting works that I can plagiarise for you. This

will be my contribution to spiritual enlightenment. Don't forget to

send money as I am not on Sunday Morning TV.

 

It is fine with me if you wear Indian dress, even if most Indians

don't and many laugh at you behind your backs. It is a cross to bear.

Just remember to put your donations in the envelope for our great

projects and my personal ones.

 

When I visit your great country with mention of god on your money and

freemasonic symbols on the other side. I will teach you the tantra of

kundalini initiation in the flesh, for I have the book. Send your

daughters so they can join the circle with my helpers for diksha. This

is totally frowned on in India but you guys know no different.

 

Also fix your Wills to bequeth money. You can be assure it won't be

far from my sight. There will always be the poor but I will send them

a few saris and dhotis. We don't want to rescue them totally, they are

such an asset. How would Mother Teresa have built all her nunneries

around the world without the poor of calcutta?

 

Also you can become interim gurus in my line. Use the Tibetan stuff it

is popular in Hollywood, and nobody really understands it, not even

me. Stay away from Ramana and Maharaj's teachings, they won't make you

rich, those guys lived in poverty.

 

If you eat meat don't get caught. If you do say you have to because of

your health and it is regrettable. If they see a lot of meat, say you

need a lot of health.

 

I am ready to leave my cave soon. I have to have a garage sale to get

rid of my TV, Stereo, Generator and Playboy magazines

etc....Humanzeeananda.