A Week of Laughter and Love

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

 

I haven't posted for awhile, so I thought I'd say hello. The past

week has been quite delightful in many ways. Last Tuesday,

when reading one of Papaji's books, the silence behind his

words deeply pierced my consciousness and the most delicious

laughter bubbled up.

 

When I asked, "Who am I?" I began to laugh. And I laughed. And I

laughed. And I laughed. And then I stopped. And then I started

again. And I laughed. And there was no need to understand it

and no need to hold onto it.

 

I thought about a friend and I thought, who? And I laughed. I

looked at my hands and asked, whose are these? And I

laughed. I wondered how I would look at my desire to be loved in

this state, so I tried to focus on it and all I could think was, who

wants to be loved? And I laughed. I thought, I should write about

this to my Satsang list and immediately thought, write to who?

And I laughed.

 

What a blessing.

 

And I continued laughing for two days. I tried to meditate, but

ended up laughing instead. Listening to reports on the possible

use of biological warfare made me sick to my stomach, yet

beneath that was laughter and joy. And openness.

 

I came upon the statement, "There is no free will," and instead of

my usual defensiveness rising up, I got it. Finally. There's no

free will, because no one exists. To have free will, is to cling to

the story of a personal self. Free will is a resistance to what is.

I've struggled with this idea for years and in an instant, it

disappeared.

 

Then, on Saturday, when delving into some of my "issues," I

deeply experienced that "I don't know." I don't know why I'm

attracted to certain desires or why it's so hard to let them go. I

don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know when things

are going to change or if they will. I don't know why things

happen the way they do. In fact, I don't know anything. I can't

know anything, because there's nothing to know. Because

knowing itself, when it rises out of a state of stillness, isn't

knowledge or even wisdom, it's simply openness. It's being fully

present to whatever arises in the moment.

 

One of the desires I've been struggling with is a desire for a

relationship. And tonight, while meditating, I experienced the

possibility of impersonal love. I can't really explain what

happened, but I realized that my desire for a relationship is

getting in the way of a deeper connection with Self. That loving

another person is actually life loving itself. So having a

relationship isn't a problem, but desiring it, and believing that

it's

about two people, is.

 

And just a few minutes ago, I was thinking about my love of truth

and I realized that so much of what I've been in love with for so

many years is a mirage, is the idea of truth, the appearance of

truth, rather than truth itself. This is shocking. And wonderful. And

mind-blowing. Yep, my mind is being blown apart.

 

Life is pouring through me, and I'm letting it pass through. I

learned long ago that what I grasp at, I lose. So I'm letting this

love, this awareness, ripple through me like the laughter that

began this delightful opening. What a joy.

 

Namaste,

Julie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/2/01 4:39:09 AM Mountain Daylight Time,

jei writes:

 

<< What a joy.

>>

 

You are a joy to us, Julie. Thank you. Love, Holly

[Guest guest]

Thank you Julie for sharing those reflections and the enquiry and the

laughter and the joy.

 

Harsha

 

 

Julie [jei]

Tuesday, October 02, 2001 6:38 AM

A Week of Laughter and Love

 

 

Hi All,

 

I haven't posted for awhile, so I thought I'd say hello. The past

week has been quite delightful in many ways. Last Tuesday,

when reading one of Papaji's books, the silence behind his

words deeply pierced my consciousness and the most delicious

laughter bubbled up.

 

When I asked, "Who am I?" I began to laugh. And I laughed. And I

laughed. And I laughed. And then I stopped. And then I started

again. And I laughed. And there was no need to understand it

and no need to hold onto it.

 

I thought about a friend and I thought, who? And I laughed. I

looked at my hands and asked, whose are these? And I

laughed. I wondered how I would look at my desire to be loved in

this state, so I tried to focus on it and all I could think was, who

wants to be loved? And I laughed. I thought, I should write about

this to my Satsang list and immediately thought, write to who?

And I laughed.

 

What a blessing.

 

And I continued laughing for two days. I tried to meditate, but

ended up laughing instead. Listening to reports on the possible

use of biological warfare made me sick to my stomach, yet

beneath that was laughter and joy. And openness.

 

I came upon the statement, "There is no free will," and instead of

my usual defensiveness rising up, I got it. Finally. There's no

free will, because no one exists. To have free will, is to cling to

the story of a personal self. Free will is a resistance to what is.

I've struggled with this idea for years and in an instant, it

disappeared.

 

Then, on Saturday, when delving into some of my "issues," I

deeply experienced that "I don't know." I don't know why I'm

attracted to certain desires or why it's so hard to let them go. I

don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know when things

are going to change or if they will. I don't know why things

happen the way they do. In fact, I don't know anything. I can't

know anything, because there's nothing to know. Because

knowing itself, when it rises out of a state of stillness, isn't

knowledge or even wisdom, it's simply openness. It's being fully

present to whatever arises in the moment.

 

One of the desires I've been struggling with is a desire for a

relationship. And tonight, while meditating, I experienced the

possibility of impersonal love. I can't really explain what

happened, but I realized that my desire for a relationship is

getting in the way of a deeper connection with Self. That loving

another person is actually life loving itself. So having a

relationship isn't a problem, but desiring it, and believing that

it's

about two people, is.

 

And just a few minutes ago, I was thinking about my love of truth

and I realized that so much of what I've been in love with for so

many years is a mirage, is the idea of truth, the appearance of

truth, rather than truth itself. This is shocking. And wonderful. And

mind-blowing. Yep, my mind is being blown apart.

 

Life is pouring through me, and I'm letting it pass through. I

learned long ago that what I grasp at, I lose. So I'm letting this

love, this awareness, ripple through me like the laughter that

began this delightful opening. What a joy.

 

Namaste,

Julie

[Guest guest]

Dear Julie-Dakshinamurti- The God (Consciousness) seated at the

northernmost position in the universe therefore always facing South.

 

'To him, who sleeps when the manifested mind gets resolved, on

account of the veiling by maya, like the sun or the moon in eclipse,

and on waking recognizes self-existence in the form 'I have slept

till now'; to him the Guru of all that moves and moves not,

Dakshinamurti, may this obeisance be!'

 

from Shankaracharya's Hymn to Dakshinamurti

translated from Sri Ramana Maharshi's Tamil rendering

 

I had this in my mind all day today.

 

Love

Bobby G.

 

, "Julie" <jei@m...> wrote:

> Hi All,

>

> I haven't posted for awhile, so I thought I'd say hello. The past

> week has been quite delightful in many ways. Last Tuesday,

> when reading one of Papaji's books, the silence behind his

> words deeply pierced my consciousness and the most delicious

> laughter bubbled up.

>

> When I asked, "Who am I?" I began to laugh. And I laughed. And I

> laughed. And I laughed. And then I stopped. And then I started

> again. And I laughed. And there was no need to understand it

> and no need to hold onto it.

>

> I thought about a friend and I thought, who? And I laughed. I

> looked at my hands and asked, whose are these? And I

> laughed. I wondered how I would look at my desire to be loved in

> this state, so I tried to focus on it and all I could think was,

who

> wants to be loved? And I laughed. I thought, I should write about

> this to my Satsang list and immediately thought, write to who?

> And I laughed.

>

> What a blessing.

>

> And I continued laughing for two days. I tried to meditate, but

> ended up laughing instead. Listening to reports on the possible

> use of biological warfare made me sick to my stomach, yet

> beneath that was laughter and joy. And openness.

>

> I came upon the statement, "There is no free will," and instead of

> my usual defensiveness rising up, I got it. Finally. There's no

> free will, because no one exists. To have free will, is to cling to

> the story of a personal self. Free will is a resistance to what is.

> I've struggled with this idea for years and in an instant, it

> disappeared.

>

> Then, on Saturday, when delving into some of my "issues," I

> deeply experienced that "I don't know." I don't know why I'm

> attracted to certain desires or why it's so hard to let them go. I

> don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know when things

> are going to change or if they will. I don't know why things

> happen the way they do. In fact, I don't know anything. I can't

> know anything, because there's nothing to know. Because

> knowing itself, when it rises out of a state of stillness, isn't

> knowledge or even wisdom, it's simply openness. It's being fully

> present to whatever arises in the moment.

>

> One of the desires I've been struggling with is a desire for a

> relationship. And tonight, while meditating, I experienced the

> possibility of impersonal love. I can't really explain what

> happened, but I realized that my desire for a relationship is

> getting in the way of a deeper connection with Self. That loving

> another person is actually life loving itself. So having a

> relationship isn't a problem, but desiring it, and believing that

> it's

> about two people, is.

>

> And just a few minutes ago, I was thinking about my love of truth

> and I realized that so much of what I've been in love with for so

> many years is a mirage, is the idea of truth, the appearance of

> truth, rather than truth itself. This is shocking. And wonderful.

And

> mind-blowing. Yep, my mind is being blown apart.

>

> Life is pouring through me, and I'm letting it pass through. I

> learned long ago that what I grasp at, I lose. So I'm letting this

> love, this awareness, ripple through me like the laughter that

> began this delightful opening. What a joy.

>

> Namaste,

> Julie

[Guest guest]

Julie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OM! Namaste!!!!!!!!

-

Julie

Tuesday, October 02, 2001 3:38 AM

A Week of Laughter and Love

Hi All,I haven't posted for awhile, so I thought I'd say hello. The

past week has been quite delightful in many ways. Last Tuesday, when

reading one of Papaji's books, the silence behind his words deeply

pierced my consciousness and the most delicious laughter bubbled

up.When I asked, "Who am I?" I began to laugh. And I laughed. And I

laughed. And I laughed. And then I stopped. And then I started again.

And I laughed. And there was no need to understand it and no need to

hold onto it.I thought about a friend and I thought, who? And I

laughed. I looked at my hands and asked, whose are these? And I

laughed. I wondered how I would look at my desire to be loved in this

state, so I tried to focus on it and all I could think was, who wants

to be loved? And I laughed. I thought, I should write about this to

my Satsang list and immediately thought, write to who? And I

laughed.What a blessing.And I continued laughing for two days. I

tried to meditate, but ended up laughing instead. Listening to

reports on the possible use of biological warfare made me sick to my

stomach, yet beneath that was laughter and joy. And openness. I came

upon the statement, "There is no free will," and instead of my usual

defensiveness rising up, I got it. Finally. There's no free will,

because no one exists. To have free will, is to cling to the story of

a personal self. Free will is a resistance to what is. I've struggled

with this idea for years and in an instant, it disappeared.Then, on

Saturday, when delving into some of my "issues," I deeply experienced

that "I don't know." I don't know why I'm attracted to certain desires

or why it's so hard to let them go. I don't know what's going to

happen next. I don't know when things are going to change or if they

will. I don't know why things happen the way they do. In fact, I

don't know anything. I can't know anything, because there's nothing

to know. Because knowing itself, when it rises out of a state of

stillness, isn't knowledge or even wisdom, it's simply openness. It's

being fully present to whatever arises in the moment.One of the

desires I've been struggling with is a desire for a relationship. And

tonight, while meditating, I experienced the possibility of impersonal

love. I can't really explain what happened, but I realized that my

desire for a relationship is getting in the way of a deeper

connection with Self. That loving another person is actually life

loving itself. So having a relationship isn't a problem, but desiring

it, and believing thatit's about two people, is. And just a few

minutes ago, I was thinking about my love of truth and I realized

that so much of what I've been in love with for so many years is a

mirage, is the idea of truth, the appearance of truth, rather than

truth itself. This is shocking. And wonderful. And mind-blowing. Yep,

my mind is being blown apart. Life is pouring through me, and I'm

letting it pass through. I learned long ago that what I grasp at, I

lose. So I'm letting this love, this awareness, ripple through me

like the laughter that began this delightful opening. What a

joy.Namaste,Julie/join

All paths go

somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights, perceptions,

and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back

into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of

Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It

is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the

Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of

Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self.

Welcome all to a.Your use of is subject

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