Guest guest Posted October 3, 2001 Report Share Posted October 3, 2001 Why does it hurt, when you are rejected? You open yourself and trust, you take a chance, and love. You throw caution to the wind, set your fears aside , take a risk. Put yourself vulnerable infront of the one who claims to love you and you say," I love you" Your essence, your being, all of your faults. I'll take you as you are. I'll never ask you to change,I'll always ask you to just be. In the same room, with me on this plain of existence. Just be. You offer him everything that you are, and He sais," No, It's not enough." I'm not enough? Why? No answer. jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2001 Report Share Posted October 3, 2001 You open yourself and trust, you take a chance, and love. You throw caution to the wind, set your fears aside , take a risk. Put yourself vulnerable infront of the one who claims to love you and you say," I love you" Your essence, your being, all of your faults. I'll take you as you are. I'll never ask you to change,I'll always ask you to just be. In the same room, with me on this plain of existence. Just be. jen Dear Jen, I am responding to the urgency of your last post. Here is my suggestion: Take what you just wrote (above) and imagine you are talking to you! If you can love yourself like you have loved him, you will find a heart that is big enough for not only him, whether he loves you back or not, but big enough for the whole cosmos. He is blind to not embrace a heart full of love. He is speaking from his blindness when he says, "It's not enough." The blessed opportunity here is for you to see the amazing power you have within you to love him in his blindness without wanting or needing to receive anything in return. You wrote, "You offer him everything that you are..." You see now that that doesn't work. Now offer everything to you. You will discover an infinity of love to then offer everyone, including him. Good luck. I wish you all the best. Love, Kheyala Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2001 Report Share Posted October 4, 2001 , jenjayl01 wrote: > > Why does it hurt, when you are rejected? You open yourself and > trust, you take a chance, and love. You throw caution to the wind, > set your fears aside , take a risk. Put yourself vulnerable infront > of the one who claims to love you and you say," I love you" Your > essence, your being, all of your faults. I'll take you as you are. > I'll never ask you to change,I'll always ask you to just be. In the > same room, with me on this plain of existence. Just be. You offer him > everything that you are, and He sais," No, It's not enough." I'm not > enough? Why? No answer. > > > jen Jen, I'm gonna come and kick your butt. You said you opened yourself to trust, to love, to letting go of fears, and now look at you! You're closed off. You are not trusting. You are not loving, you are fearing. You are bringing up all kinds of fears and grasping on to them. No wonder you feel rejected! Forget what he said and didn't say and let's look at the big picture here for a sec. You know you love him. You say he loves you - don't start doubting that now. When you invite love into your life, everything that is not of love has to come up and out. And guess what? It's all coming up and out now! Enjoy the process! These all are just fears, and they are meaningless. Have faith and trust in what you know, which is the love you shared. This is what you said you would give him. Can you do this now when it really counts? (It's sooo much easier to give love, faith, and trust when the other is acting just like you want!). Give your trust and faith to your love, not to your fears or to his fears. Just like you, he is afraid. This is a call for trust; a call for faith. Surrender your fears - laugh joyously at them as they come up and out if you can. Keep yourself open to love, and tell yourself you don't know what anything means. Stay open. Know nothing. Whenever another fear comes up, let it go. Stay open. Know nothing. You are making way for something so big and wonderful to come into your life. Don't cop out now. Sending you lots of love, xxxtg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2001 Report Share Posted October 4, 2001 Dear Jen, I am have been touched by the wise words of yours and those that have been contributing, advice and poetry to this healing-love thread. Would just like to make a couple of general observation to this........... On 10/3/01 at 9:26 PM jenjayl01 wrote: <ºWhy does it hurt, when you are rejected? [...] It not only hurts when rejected, it also hurts when a loved one dies. What is in common, is that the channel for life-energy to flow, has been cut off and that is always painful.>>>>>>>>>> Yes, anyone who has lost a loved one knows this to be true. Either through physical death, or the unraveling of the neediness of projection. The attachments to this identify, when disrupted by events must always bring pain when broken. <Why unknowingly divert life-energy? A mind-body is equipped with a finite amount of it, once spent it can't be renewed. >>>>>>>> I am not clear what you mean here. In my view, energy is total and indivisible, being the flow of spirit. Whilst this flow resonates at different levels to vibrate on the planes of consciousness and substance, even so, it can never be finite, just transformed. The mind-body, simply becomes an other vibrational reality of spirit. Maybe I am misreading your meaning here though. <When used to dissolve all sense of separateness, that is more fulfilling than any relationship can ever bring. >>>>>>>> Yes, I do so agree. Without getting too metaphysical, I believe that relationships can also be used as contacts for the discovery of divine union also. It is the miracle of unconditional love when the anima and animus seek healing within two, as well as within the one individual. Then (to use a term from A Course of Miracles), a relationship can be made Holy. <So why the effort to continue an unsatisfactory relationship, the bliss of which, when obtained, is conditioned and finite after all?>>>>>>>>>>> Again I agree. When one party, or both are not healed, there is always projection and imbalance. Unless the one who is most sustained in the acceptance of their own perfection in love, can be not hurt emotionally by the other, then it is just a battleground enacted out of a need of a love that must be found in ones own heart first. love eric. On 10/3/01 at 9:26 PM jenjayl01 wrote: ºWhy does it hurt, when you are rejected? [...] It not only hurts when rejected, it also hurts when a loved one dies. What is in common, is that the channel for life-energy to flow, has been cut off and that is always painful. Why unknowingly divert life-energy? A mind-body is equipped with a finite amount of it, once spent it can't be renewed. When used to dissolve all sense of separateness, that is more fulfilling than any relationship can ever bring. So why the effort to continue an unsatisfactory relationship, the bliss of which, when obtained, is conditioned and finite after all? Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2001 Report Share Posted October 4, 2001 In a message dated 10/3/01 3:28:39 PM Mountain Daylight Time, jenjayl01 writes: << No, It's not enough." I'm not enough? Why? No answer. >> Because this is about HIM, not you. It is an illusion to think our love can cure somebody, penetrate somebody, enchant somebody or even make somebody happy if that somebody is not willing, for whatever reason, conscious or unconscious. Usually we hold onto the illusion so as not to face the disappointment and inadequacy (also illusionary, usually based on childhood wounds) we feel. If you let go of this illusion, you will be free. Love, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2001 Report Share Posted October 4, 2001 On 10/3/01 at 9:26 PM jenjayl01 wrote: ºWhy does it hurt, when you are rejected? [...] It not only hurts when rejected, it also hurts when a loved one dies. What is in common, is that the channel for life-energy to flow, has been cut off and that is always painful. Why unknowingly divert life-energy? A mind-body is equipped with a finite amount of it, once spent it can't be renewed. When used to dissolve all sense of separateness, that is more fulfilling than any relationship can ever bring. So why the effort to continue an unsatisfactory relationship, the bliss of which, when obtained, is conditioned and finite after all? Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2001 Report Share Posted October 4, 2001 On 10/4/01 at 10:06 AM ErcAshfrd (AT) aol (DOT) com wrote: [...] <Why unknowingly divert life-energy? A mind-body is equipped with a finite amount of it, once spent it can't be renewed. >>>>>>>> am not clear what you mean here. In my view, energy is total and indivisible, being the flow of spirit. Whilst this flow resonates at different levels to vibrate on the planes of consciousness and substance, even so, it can never be finite, just transformed. The mind-body, simply becomes an other vibrational reality of spirit. Maybe I am misreading your meaning here though. The amount of energy at the disposal of a mind-body is finite as at its death it is zero and inbetween are all cases of disease.. Transformation pertains to the mind-body, the Self cannot realize the Self. A mind-body is born with a potential for fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, envy etc. and this isn't a recipe for unconditional happiness. The removal of that potential requires energy - life-energy... After apperception it is possible to become aware of the distribution of this life-energy. When the energy isn't fully spent, it will find another outlet - one that eventually dissolves all potential that could generate the least sense of separateness - literally. The "critical" phase is one, often of seclusion and bliss, giving rise to many a devotional work - examples of that abound. After that phase, as no more energy can "leak" through the removed potential(s), happiness is "default", energy is abundant (but still finite). The Buddha called this "nirvana with substratum remaining". A kind of "must" for a happy relationship as there is no more potential for attachment to it. Peace, Jan[...] love eric. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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