Welcome back Jerry, hello Dharma!

[Guest guest]

Dear Jerry!

 

Welcome back! I have been away for several days tending sheep and horses at a

friend's country place, and it was a delight to return from woodsy solitude to

find you back on the list. I am sorry to hear the monks finally had to leave,

and that your energy problems have continued to be a real struggle.

 

Your news about El having ongoing physical problems, and Dharma, your return of

CFS symptoms, are both sad things to hear. Dharma, I hope this clears for you

soon. I tend toward your own interpretation, that this may be a time of final

clearing. Part of the equation for people like you, El, and I is that the

activity of kundalini is inextricably wound up with CFS in ways that are

difficult to understand and sort out. But it has been my own experience that

the most painful and incapacitating experiences with CFS have been followed by

periods of increased health and clarity, much in the same way that times of

intense k activity brings increased awareness and sensitivity to unpleasant

stored physical, emotional, and psychic contents before clearing them out.

Health and wholeness comes slowly through many of these periods, but it comes

eventually in strength and fullness.

 

I heard an interview this weekend with the writer of the NY Times bestseller,

Seabiscuit. She has had CFS for 14 years and is pretty much incapacited, with

her health situation continuing to decline. Her book came out in March and she

has yet to see it in a bookstore, remaining pretty totally housebound. I am

grateful that those of us on this and other lists who have this disease have not

been incapacited to this extreme for such a long period of time, but I feel for

her. Her experience of loss of years of functioning, and the sense of unknowing

and helplessnes is part of what all with CFS experience. Not knowing the

etiology of the disease, and not knowing when we will feel fine and when we will

not be able to function at all, is in some ways more difficult than the pain and

incapacity itself.

 

Jill

 

 

>>> GCWein1111 11/25/01 04:11PM >>>

Hello Dharma,

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and for so generously

sharing your recent experiences. l'm really sorry to learn of your illness

-- sounds as if you've been through alot.

 

Although l appear to have an unfortunate

hyper-sensitivity to spiritual energy, l don't think l have some of the forms

of acute sensitivity that others have, such as what you describe happening to

you around Sept 11. l felt somewhat ill afterward, as l imagine many did, but

not before then.

You mentioned

Muktananda -- l believe he had diabetes. l'm not sure what other medical

problems he had. The statement you reference to him about kundalini bringing

up illnesses to be worked through for the last time is one l've also heard

before. l can only speak for myself in saying that after all the things l've

experienced in my process and have heard from others, l take all these axioms

with a grain of salt. l figure they're all true for some k people, but not

for all of us.

l can relate to what you say about taking

medicines. Before, l never had a problem taking medicine. Now, l can hardly

take anything, which can be quite worrisome. l was unable to take antibiotics

a couple years ago, and an inability to take those can put you back in the

19th century real quick when it comes to medical treatment. l shy away from

the anthrax stories, figuring that a few spores would likely do me in. l

remember El Collie had a real rough time not long ago because she couldn't

take antibiotics.

 

l'm sure you're right in saying El has accounted for CFS being triggered by

k. l haven't had any contact with El for over a year now -- last l heard she

was really having severe physical problems herself related to her energy.

When l see someone at her level struggle as much as she has in recent years,

it reminds me of the difficulty in being able to predict or account for

everything that happens in the course of a k experience. As you say, the

factors we would normally look to begin to seem far too simplistic.

 

Thank you for passing

along that quote. l agree with you that spiritual realization -- the

knowledge that in the ultimate sense we're always truly safe -- is the

critical factor in all this. From a physical and social standpoint the last

10 years have been a huge waste -- an exercise in nothing but frustration.

But if l can KNOW that it's truly about something far greater than what

merely appears on the surface, then it will have all been worthwhile. l can't

honestly say l'm there yet. ln my better moments l see it the way you do:

that this is what it's all been about. Hope you are feeling better.

 

 

love,

jerry

 

 

 

 

 

/join

 

 

 

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back

into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than the ocean,

all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness. Awareness does

not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is.

Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee

relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into

It Self. Welcome all to a.

 

 

 

Terms of Service

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/26/01 7:09:54 AM Pacific Standard Time,

eggersj writes:

 

<<

Welcome back! I have been away for several days tending sheep and horses at

a friend's country place, and it was a delight to return from woodsy solitude

to find you back on the list. I am sorry to hear the monks finally had to

leave, and that your energy problems have continued to be a real struggle.

>>

 

Hi Jill and thanx for the welcome. l figured you were off doing something

-- tending sheep and horses in woodsy solitude sounds awfully good to me. l

thought of you when Dharma spoke of problems with CFS and almost mentioned

you in my post, but figured you'd answer for yourself, which you did, in a

far more thorough and thoughtful way than l could.

 

l trust all has been well with you -- looking

forward to talking more down the road.

 

love,

jerry