Fw:Loving Kindness - Pema Chodron

January 14, 2002

- Jan Sultan

Sunday, January 13, 2002 1:38 AM

[NDS] Loving Kindness - Pema Chodron

1 Loving-KindnessTHERE'S A COMMON MISUNDERSTANDING among all the human

beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live

is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see

this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.A

much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life

is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of

our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes

beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that

everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate,

full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can

endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we

are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how

the whole thing just is. If we're committed to comfort at any cost,

as soon as we come up against the least edge of pain, we're going to

run; we'll never know what's beyond that particular barrier or wall

or fearful thing.When people start to meditate or to work with any

kind of spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they're

going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who

they really are. It's a bit like saying, "If I jog, I'll be a much

better person.If I could only get a nicer house, I'd be a better

person.If I could meditate and calm down, I'd be a better person."

Or the scenario may be that they find fault with others; they might

say, "If it weren't for my husband, I'd have a perfect marriage.""If

it weren't for the fact that my boss and I can't get on, my job would

be just great." And "If it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be

excellent."But loving-kindness -maitri- toward ourselves doesn't mean

getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy

after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years.

We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness.

The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn't

about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's

about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or

me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That's the ground,

that's what we study, that's what we come to know with tremendous

curiosity and interest.Sometimes among Buddhists the word ego is used

in a derogatory sense, with a different connotation than the Freudian

term. As Buddhists, we might say, "My ego causes me so many

problems." Then we might think, "Well, then, we're supposed to get

rid of it, right? Then there'd be no problem." On the contrary, the

idea isn't to get rid of ego but actually to begin to take an

interest in ourselves, to investigate and be inquisitive about

ourselves.The path of meditation and the path of our lives altogether

has to do with curiosity, inquisitiveness. The ground is ourselves;

we're here to study ourselves and to get to know ourselves now, not

later. People often say to me, "I wanted to come and have an

interview with you, I wanted to write you a letter, I wanted to call

you on the phone, but I wanted to wait until I was more together."

And I think, "Well, if you're anything like me, you could wait

forever!" So come as you are. The magic is being willing to open to

that, being willing to be fully awake to that. One of the main

discoveries of meditation is seeing how we continually run away from

the present moment, how we avoid being here just as we are. That's

not considered to be a problem; the point is to see

it.Inquisitiveness or curiosity involves being gentle, precise, and

open - actually being able to let go and open. Gentleness is a sense

of goodheartedness toward ourselves. Precision is being able to see

very clearly, not being afraid to see what's really there, just as a

scientist is not afraid to look into the microscope. Openness is

being able to let go and to open.The effect of this month of

meditation that we are beginning will be as if, at the end of each

day, someone were to play a video of you back to yourself and you

could see it all. You would wince quite often and say "Ugh!" You

probably would see that you do all those things for which you

criticize all those people you don't like in your life, all those

people that you judge. Basically, making friends with yourself is

making friends with all those people too, because when you come to

have this kind of honesty, gentleness, and goodheartedness, combined

with clarity about yourself, there's no obstacle to feeling

loving-kindness for others as well.So the ground of maitri is

ourselves. We're here to get to know and study ourselves. The path,

the way to do that, our main vehicle, is going to be meditation, and

some sense of general wakefulness. Our inquisitiveness will not be

limited just to sitting here; as we walk through the halls, use the

lavatories, walk outdoors, prepare food in the kitchen, or talk to

our friends - whatever we do- we will try to maintain that sense of

aliveness, openness, and curiosity about what's happening. Perhaps we

will experience what is traditionally described as the fruition of

maitri - playfulness.So hopefully we'll have a good month here,

getting to know ourselves and becoming more playful, rather than more

grim.from: The Wisdom of NO ESCAPE and the path of Loving-Kindnessby:

Pema Chodron

January 14, 2002

Thanks, Gloria, for sharing the Pema Chodron quote.

Jill

>>> glee 01/14/02 17:33 PM >>>

-

Jan Sultan

Sunday, January 13, 2002 1:38 AM

[NDS] Loving Kindness - Pema Chodron

1 Loving-Kindness

THERE'S A COMMON MISUNDERSTANDING among all the human beings who have ever

been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain

and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and

animals and birds. All of us are the same.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is

to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our

inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond

pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything

turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful

life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and

pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how

we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is. If we're

committed to comfort at any cost, as soon as we come up against the least

edge of pain, we're going to run; we'll never know what's beyond that

particular barrier or wall or fearful thing.

When people start to meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual

discipline, they often think that somehow they're going to improve, which

is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are. It's a bit like

saying, "If I jog, I'll be a much better person.If I could only get a

nicer house, I'd be a better person.If I could meditate and calm down,

I'd be a better person." Or the scenario may be that thy find fault with

others; they might say, "If it weren't for my husband, I'd have a perfect

marriage."

"If it weren't for the fact that my boss and I can't get on, my job would

be just great." And "If it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be

excellent."

But loving-kindness -maitri- toward ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of

anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We

can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous

or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change

ourselves. Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away

and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already. The

ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we

are. That's the ground, that's what we study, that's what we come to know

with tremendous curiosity and interest.

Sometimes among Buddhists the word ego is used in a derogatory sense, with

a different connotation than the Freudian term. As Buddhists, we might say,

"My ego causes me so many problems." Then we might think, "Well, then,

we're supposed to get rid of it, right? Then there'd be no problem." On the

contrary, the idea isn't to get rid of ego but actually to begin to take an

interest in ourselves, to investigate and be inquisitive about ourselves.

The path of meditation and the path of our lives altogether has to do with

curiosity, inquisitiveness. The ground is ourselves; we're here to study

ourselves and to get to know ourselves now, not later. People often say to

me, "I wanted to come and have an interview with you, I wanted to write you

a letter, I wanted to call you on the phone, but I wanted to wait until I

was more together." And I think, "Well, if you're anything like me, you

could wait forever!" So come as you are. The magic is being willing to open

to that, being willing to be fully awake to that. One of the main

discoveries of meditation is seeing how we contnually

January 14, 2002

Wonderful post Gloria ))) Thank you for sending it here on Harsha's list

Love, Lynette

-

Gloria Lee

HS ; true

Monday, January 14, 2002 4:38 PM