Fw: 6th grade history

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Answers provided by 6th graders during a history test.1. Ancient Egypt

was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote inhydraulics. They lived

in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah issuch that all the

inhabitants have to live elsewhere.2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to

the Red Sea where they made unleavenedbread, which is bread made

without any ingredients. Moses went up onMount Cyanide to get the ten

commandments. He died before he everreached Canada.3. Solomon had

three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.4. The Greeks were a

highly sculptured people, and without them wewouldn't have history.

The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a femalemoth.5. Socrates was a

famous Greek teacher who went around giving peopleadvice. They killed

him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.After his death, his

career suffered a dramatic decline.6. In the Olympic games, Greeks

ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, andthrew the Java.7. Julius

Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. TheIdes of

March murdered him because they thought he was going to be madeking.

Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a

steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.9. Queen Elizabeth was the

"Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success.When she exposed herself

before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."10. It was an age of great

inventions and discoveries. Gutenberginvented removable type and the

Bible. Another important invention wasthe circulation of blood. Sir

Walter Raleigh is a historical figurebecause he invented cigarettes

and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a

100-foot clipper.11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was

William Shakespeare. Hewas born in the year 1564, supposedly on his

birthday. He never mademuch money and is famous only because of his

plays. He wrotetragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in

Islamic pentameter.Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic

couple. Romeo's last wishwas to be laid by Juliet.12. Writing at the

same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. Hewrote Donkey Hote.

The next great author was John Milton. Milton wroteparadise Lost.

Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.13. Delegates from

the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.Thomas

Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers ofthe

Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity

byrubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against

itselfcannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.14.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln'smother

died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he builtwith

his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing

theEmasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln

wentto the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a

movingpicture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth,

asupposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.15. Johann Bach

wrote a great many musical compositions and had a largenumber of

children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which hekept up

in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was themost

famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was

halfGerman, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.16.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf hewrote

loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyonewas

calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for

this.17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts

andinventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started

reproducingby machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a

network of rivers tospring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick

raper, which did thework of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a

cure for rabbits.Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ

of the Species.Madman Curie discovered the radio. And Karl Marx

became one of the MarxBrothers.