Guest guest Posted April 7, 2002 Report Share Posted April 7, 2002 thinking this would be another message, a regular post, i just started to write, and then, i realized how personal, how deeply full of grace and prayer and love this story was. so i stopped and sat here, sat and couldn't say the thing, could not speak another single word. sat and asked myself why, why i felt the need to tell you everything about this. asked myself what could be the benefit or detriment to telling this, this entirely, so commonplace tale. it's been long enough now, a right time now for me to talk about the turkeys. it all seems so really nothing now. i'm glad i waited to rant on about this thing, waited to pry my head out the sky's lion mouth. bloody good thing, good and somewhat bloody thing, this changing our hearts for each other's everyday. two hearts getting caught in one place, one space, they seem to see things so much filled with awe, everything brings a blinding reverence, for everyone, for everything, for every moment now i see who you are. there were two wild turkeys walking across the meadow, right out in the bright wide-open daylight, an unbelievable, a real remarkable sight to see. so i watched as these creatures, these soulful, so full of some kind of beautiful god walking grace, these copper and beige kind of golden, creamy cream, and a silver hue, a sort of rust, a hint of blue, god my good friends, they were so many colors, their feathers were so sleek, so like lacquered light, it looked like one seamless god-garment on a god-being, and it was dancing like a strange and wonderful loveheart, my heart was the love and the thing of seeing these birds, i became so confused as to who was the bird and who the beauty and who the one ruffling the dust up under the feathers, and who did the sun-strutting thing, and the bits of grass, and the simple nodding and the such splendid most exquiste, the marvelous one who made manifest this delightful breast of breathing beauty to be these two turkeys of wild ways to be here. But the thing is this, they were very pretty, it was real nice, it was something to see, something not seen everyday, not by everyone. But even this is not such a big deal, its really a so-what, hohum, so what, but, the thing that changed this for me, made it something worth saying, was that as i watched these birds just being beautiful wild birds, suddenly, just like happened yesterday to me, i started to cry, i started to weep and cry and i could no stop, i could not get a grip, and i still sit here like a crazy crying fool, lost in a sea of weeping weeping for every single thing in the world forever. weeping for you weeping for me weeping for god and the neighbors and the deer-goats, and the rocks and the sky and the eyes that bore a hole in my heart. i just think that if i ever start crying like this again, with such love again, i wont be able to stop. love, mazie _______________ Join the world’s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2002 Report Share Posted April 7, 2002 Thanks for posting this Mazie. I am the same way. It is bittersweet. I both want it and don't. But the tears well up and I can imagine a moment when the floodgates will open for good and I will never stop being a conduit for this tremendous gratitude and love. I never know what will set it off. You expressed it very well. Have a good night! Love Bobby G. , "Mazie Lane" <sraddha54@h...> wrote: > thinking this would be another message, > a regular post, i just started to write, > and then, i realized how personal, > how deeply full of grace and prayer > and love this story was. > so i stopped and sat here, > sat and couldn't say the thing, > could not speak another single word. > sat and asked myself why, > why i felt the need to tell you everything about this. > asked myself what could be the benefit > or detriment to telling this, this > entirely, so commonplace tale. > > it's been long enough now, a right time > now for me to talk about the turkeys. > it all seems so really nothing now. > i'm glad i waited to rant on about this thing, > waited to pry my head out the sky's lion mouth. > bloody good thing, good and somewhat bloody thing, > this changing our hearts for each other's everyday. > two hearts getting caught in one place, one space, > they seem to see things so much filled with awe, > everything brings a blinding reverence, > for everyone, for everything, > for every moment now > i see who you are. > > there were two wild turkeys walking across the meadow, > right out in the bright wide-open daylight, > an unbelievable, a real remarkable sight to see. > so i watched as these creatures, these soulful, > so full of some kind of beautiful god walking grace, > these copper and beige kind of golden, creamy cream, > and a silver hue, a sort of rust, a hint of blue, > god my good friends, they were so many colors, > their feathers were so sleek, so like lacquered light, > it looked like one seamless god-garment on a god-being, > and it was dancing like a strange and wonderful loveheart, > my heart was the love and the thing of seeing these birds, > i became so confused as to who was the bird and who the beauty > and who the one ruffling the dust up under the feathers, > and who did the sun-strutting thing, and the bits of grass, > and the simple nodding and the such splendid most exquiste, > the marvelous one who made manifest this delightful breast > of breathing beauty to be these two turkeys of wild ways to be here. > > But the thing is this, > they were very pretty, > it was real nice, > it was something to see, > something not seen everyday, > not by everyone. > But even this is not such a big deal, > its really a so-what, hohum, > so what, but, the thing that changed this for me, > made it something worth saying, > was that as i watched these birds > just being beautiful wild birds, > suddenly, just like happened yesterday to me, > > i started to cry, > i started to weep and cry > and i could no stop, > i could not get a grip, > and i still sit here like a crazy crying fool, > lost in a sea of weeping > weeping for every single thing in the world > forever. weeping for you > weeping for me > weeping for god > and the neighbors > and the deer-goats, > and the rocks > and the sky > and the eyes that bore a hole in my heart. > > i just think that if i ever start crying > like this again, > with such love again, > i wont be able to stop. > > > love, > mazie > _______________ > Join the world's largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. > http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2002 Report Share Posted April 8, 2002 Hi Mazie, Each of those tears has begun her journey back to the Ocean. So kind of you to let them go. thank you, Bodhisattva (they call me that here at the ashram. how CRAZY is that?) hee, hee... ps we have wild turkey here, but I've only seen them scattering and vanishing into the woods. oh well... more walking is in order here! , "Mazie Lane" <sraddha54@h...> wrote: > thinking this would be another message, > a regular post, i just started to write, > and then, i realized how personal, > how deeply full of grace and prayer > and love this story was. > so i stopped and sat here, > sat and couldn't say the thing, > could not speak another single word. > sat and asked myself why, > why i felt the need to tell you everything about this. > asked myself what could be the benefit > or detriment to telling this, this > entirely, so commonplace tale. > > it's been long enough now, a right time > now for me to talk about the turkeys. > it all seems so really nothing now. > i'm glad i waited to rant on about this thing, > waited to pry my head out the sky's lion mouth. > bloody good thing, good and somewhat bloody thing, > this changing our hearts for each other's everyday. > two hearts getting caught in one place, one space, > they seem to see things so much filled with awe, > everything brings a blinding reverence, > for everyone, for everything, > for every moment now > i see who you are. > > there were two wild turkeys walking across the meadow, > right out in the bright wide-open daylight, > an unbelievable, a real remarkable sight to see. > so i watched as these creatures, these soulful, > so full of some kind of beautiful god walking grace, > these copper and beige kind of golden, creamy cream, > and a silver hue, a sort of rust, a hint of blue, > god my good friends, they were so many colors, > their feathers were so sleek, so like lacquered light, > it looked like one seamless god-garment on a god-being, > and it was dancing like a strange and wonderful loveheart, > my heart was the love and the thing of seeing these birds, > i became so confused as to who was the bird and who the beauty > and who the one ruffling the dust up under the feathers, > and who did the sun-strutting thing, and the bits of grass, > and the simple nodding and the such splendid most exquiste, > the marvelous one who made manifest this delightful breast > of breathing beauty to be these two turkeys of wild ways to be here. > > But the thing is this, > they were very pretty, > it was real nice, > it was something to see, > something not seen everyday, > not by everyone. > But even this is not such a big deal, > its really a so-what, hohum, > so what, but, the thing that changed this for me, > made it something worth saying, > was that as i watched these birds > just being beautiful wild birds, > suddenly, just like happened yesterday to me, > > i started to cry, > i started to weep and cry > and i could no stop, > i could not get a grip, > and i still sit here like a crazy crying fool, > lost in a sea of weeping > weeping for every single thing in the world > forever. weeping for you > weeping for me > weeping for god > and the neighbors > and the deer-goats, > and the rocks > and the sky > and the eyes that bore a hole in my heart. > > i just think that if i ever start crying > like this again, > with such love again, > i wont be able to stop. > > > love, > mazie > _______________ > Join the world's largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. > http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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