El is gone

[Guest guest]

To those of you who knew her, l've just been informed of the

death of El Collie.

El was publisher of SHARED TRANSFORMATIONS, a newsletter that served

the kundalini community, along with a website containing k links and

her invaluable insights.

As l have only just learned of her passing, l'm in a state of

shock and feel deep sadness. l considered El a dear friend, someone

for whom l felt deep respect and affection for all that she did and

represented to those of us who have struggled with spiritual energy.

l had been out of contact with her during the past year -- l knew

she'd been suffering physically and had largely withdrawn, and l

didn't want to intrude. l don't know the exact cause of her death,

but knowing how much pain she'd been in in recent years, l suspect

the energy contributed heavily to it.

l know many of you will want to join me in paying tribute to our

beloved friend. l pray that after all her suffering and for all that

she was to us, she's in a beautiful place.

jerry

[Guest guest]

Dear Jerry,

 

Thank you for telling us about El. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to

respond and share your loss. I have had a difficult time with this news. I

think I met El about the same time I met you, on the k list about 5 years ago.

She was such an incredibly strong, compassionate voice for those going through

very difficult kundalini processes. Because we both had CFS as well I felt a

real link with her experience and the strange combined energy and health issues

we shared. I appreciated very deeply her presence on the list (and the planet)

and her willingness to speak to the very difficult struggles many were going

through, and to speak openly and eloquently of her own experience. For a while,

when either of us came across someone who was reallly up against the wall with

kundalini processes we would refer them to each other. I met some wonderful

people through El, and came to feel very connected to a sense of support in more

difficult periods of integrating rampant kundalini activity. We lost touch

about the same time she asked you to take over editing Shared Transformations,

when she became very sick and withdrew from her more active role on the list and

as a writer.

 

For the past days I have been thinking of what you and Angelique expressed of

her being in a better place, a release from the long, ongoing physical and

psychic struggles the past years brought her. Part of what has made it

difficult for me to write these past days is that in thinking deeply about El, I

recognize in myself a deep longing to lose the self in death--a kind of

pervasive wish for a surrender to a beyond that seems a blissful release. What

a strange thing to say. But I think knowing El was hanging on and dealing with

all that came to her, made me feel that that the kundalini process was something

contained, and containable--something self limiting that one would and could

definitely live through. Selfishly enough losing El has unhinged my own sense

of being ok in walking the tightrope, and at the same time made me wish for a

similar release.

 

Thanks again Jerry for telling us, and for sharing El's husband's email. Thank

you also Harsha for forwarding what Angelique wrote about El, that was really

lovely.

 

Jill

>>> GCWein1111 04/20/02 17:30 PM >>>

Dear List,

 

To those of you who knew her, l've just been informed of the death of

El Collie.

El was publisher of SHARED TRANSFORMATIONS, a newsletter that served the

kundalini community, along with a website containing k links and her

invaluable insights.

 

As l have only just learned of her passing, l'm in a state of shock and

feel deep sadness. l considered El a dear friend, someone for whom l felt

deep respect and affection for all that she did and represented to those of

us who have struggled with spiritual energy. l had been out of contact with

her during the past year -- l knew she'd been suffering physically and had

largely withdrawn, and l didn't want to intrude. l don't know the exact cause

of her death, but knowing how much pain she'd been in in recent years, l

suspect the energy contributed heavily to it.

 

l know many of you will want to join me in paying tribute to our beloved

friend. l pray that after all her suffering and for all that she was to us,

she's in a beautiful place.

jerry