You felt the loss

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T.K. Sundaresa Iyer:

 

One day I wondered why I was visiting him at all. What was the use?

There seemed to be no inner advancement. Going up the hill was meaningless toil.

I decided to end my visits on the hill. For a hundred days exactly I did not see Bhagavan.

On the hundred and first day I could suffer no longer and ran to

Skandashram, above Virupaksha cave.

Bhagavan saw me climbing, got up and came forward to meet me.

When I fell at his feet, I could not restain myself and burst out in tears.

I clung to his feet and would not get up.

Bhagavan pulled me up and asked,

"It is over three months since I saw you. Where were you?"

I told him how I thought that seeing him was of no use.

"All right", he said, "maybe it is of no use, so what?

You felt the loss, did you not?"

Then I understood that we did not go to him for profit,

but because, away from him there was no life for us.

 

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in: Ramana Smrti, 2nd ed.

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