sacrifice

[Guest guest]

I went and had my hair chopped off to my ears - my curly beautiful

waist length hair that everyone loved so much and has been a trademark

for decades. It's gone - it wasn't doing anyone any good . Maybe the

weight of it was causing glamour, or trouble on earth.

I don't ken why everybody's so happy , and not just that but ALL THE

TIME! I glimpse bliss occasionally in meditation but back in real life I

can't keep it up all the time, I must return to my inner being and

solace again and again and again to remind myself what's real and the

misery and ennui is not. But here - to read people's writings -

everybody is happy and joyous all the time and in love with life because

life is love and not just love but love LOVE LOVE - and God is love and

Goddess is love and we are also all these things and also God and LOVE,

and - though I know it to be true - I just can't mainstay those

realizations throughout the day and night like everybody else apparently

else can. Have I just not prayed and meditated enough? Why do I not have

joy and bliss in my life except fleetingly? I take good care of plants

and animals and my daughter, I love my neighbors as myself, I recycle -

I live a good-hearted life.

I think it musta been the hair... so - CHOP CHOP! And you know,

really - "when bad things happen to good people" - that's more in an

extreme vein, but is there really an answer? Is it karma from other

lives?

Anyway - if anybody has any comments about how or why they managed to

become so unceasingly joyful and in love with all of life, I'd

appreciate a few hints. I'll send you some hair if there's any left!

best regards,

valerie

[Guest guest]

Wim Borsboom wrote:

> <snip>

> But you first have to tell me if you ever weep or are sad.

> Do you ever sob, do you get moved to tears?

>

> Do you feel sorry for yourself?

> Do you have self pity?

> Good... that is a start...

> You won't hear that from many...

> You have reason for your sorrow...

> But tell me first, what moves you to tears...

>

> Wim

>

 

Dear Wim -

well yes, okay then...

I was born with bipolar disorder, and had enough happen to me to have ongoing

post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by the time I was 5.

I was raised by alchoholic functioning artists, and have had every kind of abuse

happen.

But I am a survivor, however I have also been dragged by my hair outside a

speeding car near Nevada City,

hitchiking as a teenager

and rearended by a lumbertruck on Orcas Island in 1991,

and consecutively by 2 more cars in as many years.

 

So yesterday I was weeping because the Job Service people were extending my

unemployment check

but they want me to get a job!!! And looking on the internet, I was weeping

because I just didn't feel like I was a normal person

who could deal with a real job like what is offered in this part of Alaska -

probably anywhere.

I feel like I need to find the time and opportunity to go through all what has

happened to me,

heal my back, and clear the PTSD from the automobile accidents so my nerves

aren't shot.

Maybe then I will be a more "normal" person.

Is that enough weepiness for you? ;-)

valerie

[Guest guest]

Hello Valerie,

 

Please, stay the course...

 

About your hair? If you do worry... don't! Because if you want to, it will

grow back... and even if you don't want it to, it will grow back. The same

with love. It may have been chopped off at some point, but trust me, just

like your hair, it will recover. And just like your hair, it grows from

within outwards.

It cannot even not...

Also, just like hair it will grow on you, however unlike hair, you will not

lose it.

You cannot even...

 

Do not get disturbed by other people's love...

Look for it within yourself... You may say, "But Wim it ain't there!"

I have a simple trick for you to recover it easily, to know it again...

To re-cognize it and re-member...

But you first have to tell me if you ever weep or are sad.

Do you ever sob, do you get moved to tears?

 

Do you feel sorry for yourself?

Do you have self pity?

Good... that is a start...

You won't hear that from many...

You have reason for your sorrow...

But tell me first, what moves you to tears...

 

Wim

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Yes, that is enough weepiness, Valerie, perfect.

 

One thing first though, please see that you can accept that nobody is born

bipolar. I know that you wrote that you were born bipolar, but it does not

work that way... Give it your best try... You must get convinced of that.

Maybe my mom can help you. In previous posts I have said a few things about

my mother. Her most important wisdom came through when she at one point told

me: "Someone maybe made crazy, but is not born crazy." ("Crazy"?, well she

was straightforward... boy did that help me...)

 

So what about it? Really figure it out, find out why it cannot be so that

you were born bipolar.

 

Next thing. Did you accept what I said about "self pity and feeling sorry

for yourself", that such is a good start? That is so important, do not let

other people convince you otherwise. After all, it is your pity, your

sorrow, you may as well own it... If you have trouble accepting that, see

that you find a way to agree with yourself.

 

Spend some time on it!

 

Next thing then, tell me (you can do that privately, wim)

tell me of one recent occurrence that got you very deeply touched, that you

sobbed and wept and cried... Tell me as clearly as possible of what exactly

it was that touched you the moment you started crying... As much detail of

what set you off... and then simply the rest of what comes to mind...

 

Spend some time on it, best to find something that you really haven't told

anybody the details of yet...

 

We can move this off list, but we don't have to. As most of us are hurt in

public, so we can heal in public. Anyway, that depends on how you feel about

it.

 

I may at some point explain how I see bipolarity. It is way different than

what one generally assumes it is. Do you have some ideas about it yourself?

Well, if it is different than how people normally explain it, tell us. If

not, it can wait... you will discover...

 

Last thing, find out how often you yawn, and when you do, how do you yawn?

I will explain the importance of this.

 

Wim

 

 

v [amused]

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 10:51 PM

Re: sacrifice

 

 

Wim Borsboom wrote:

> <snip>

> But you first have to tell me if you ever weep or are sad.

> Do you ever sob, do you get moved to tears?

>

> Do you feel sorry for yourself?

> Do you have self pity?

> Good... that is a start...

> You won't hear that from many...

> You have reason for your sorrow...

> But tell me first, what moves you to tears...

>

> Wim

>

 

Dear Wim -

well yes, okay then...

I was born with bipolar disorder, and had enough happen to me to have

ongoing

post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by the time I was 5.

I was raised by alchoholic functioning artists, and have had every kind of

abuse happen.

But I am a survivor, however I have also been dragged by my hair outside a

speeding car near Nevada City,

hitchiking as a teenager

and rearended by a lumbertruck on Orcas Island in 1991,

and consecutively by 2 more cars in as many years.

 

So yesterday I was weeping because the Job Service people were extending my

unemployment check

but they want me to get a job!!! And looking on the internet, I was weeping

because I just didn't feel like I was a normal person

who could deal with a real job like what is offered in this part of Alaska -

probably anywhere.

I feel like I need to find the time and opportunity to go through all what

has happened to me,

heal my back, and clear the PTSD from the automobile accidents so my nerves

aren't shot.

Maybe then I will be a more "normal" person.

Is that enough weepiness for you? ;-)

valerie

 

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[Guest guest]

On 6/19/02 at 9:45 PM v wrote:

 

[...]

º Anyway - if anybody has any comments about how or why they managed to

ºbecome so unceasingly joyful and in love with all of life, I'd

ºappreciate a few hints. I'll send you some hair if there's any left!

ºbest regards,

ºvalerie

 

Hi Val,

 

Being joyful without a break is "default", when "manage" is but that

word and personal pronouns are shortcuts for coordinates!

When repeatedly having been faced with death, there can be that

rare experience, sentient life as whole is loved. So what does that

make of the events that were considered unpleasant, like abuse?

The hint is, without at least one of those mind bending "surrender

to Yama" experiences, life remains ruled by conflicts lying so deep

that often they remain unknown, until death - and the flash of insight

then, with the unbearable pain of deepest remorse, causes a trauma:

blissful forgetfulness, although "the thread continues".

The moral: the auto-protection of the mind-body even safeguards

from what sooner or later has to be addressed...

 

Jan

 

BTW don't send hair: no woman's hair could possibly beat Funny's

gorgeous golden fur! :-))

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

 

Anyway - if anybody has any comments about how or why they managed to

become so unceasingly joyful and in love with all of life, I'd

appreciate a few hints.

 

 

....Dear V,

 

Most take unhappiness (which is nothing but the sense of an

independent self) seriously, and so become convinced that it is real –

that it is what they are. Identifying exclusively with this sense,

rather than That in which it arises, turns millionaires into

imaginary paupers. It's all based on a simple and innocent case of

mistaken identity. So, let's inspect this for a moment, OK?

 

Well, whether things are going smoothly, or not so smoothly, or

whether we're doing pretty well, or maybe not so well, and

regardless of our temporary circumstances (and they are always

temporary, yes?) – there is something that we can notice. It is

always there, because it is something that we are doing. In fact, as

we really take a close look, we can see that it is something that we

are always doing. Morning, noon, & night. 24/7. Perpetually. And what

might that be? Forget all the poetry. Forget all the philosophy.

Forget all the God-speak, and all the jumbled ramble that passes for

thinking, the little conversations flitting willy nilly through the

cerebelum. Just feel into this, right now. Always right now. Now, not

elsewhere. So often we are elsewhere, as if always fleeing from ...

What? Do we ever actually stop and just fully and completely inhabit

this....body?

And what about this body? Let's take a really good look, shall we?

This body itself. What a mysterious, and yet absolutely transparently

simple mechanism! This body that we are! This very body! And what can

be observed? What is always going on?

There seems to be a kind of knot, whether we are very relaxed or

tense, a kind of contraction, a dis-ease that is continuous and

primal. A discomfort that, when really inspected, is found to be the

root motivator for all of our seeking, our searching. Not

just "spiritual" searching, but seeking itself. Seeking to change the

state or condition of the being, so as to neutralize this primal

sense of ...unhappiness. Dis-ease. Dis-comfort, as the body. We

want ...something. We try food. We try sex. We water our plants and

are nice to animals and neighbors. We try to be "spiritual". Holy. We

want to have a relationship with "God", so as to "transcend" this

felt sense of suffering, this root contraction that we are always

feeling, as the body. We deny the body. We want out! Look at the

history of the species – one long effort to just...

get out! To do something about this knot, felt in and as the body.

Look at our own contemporary culture! What is the message: "Yes, you

can manipulate life and, with a little strategy, get enough money,

food, sex, recognition, love, toys, longevity, health, halleluliah,

whatever - to somehow get to the point where you can be released,

free of this nagging little squirming sense of…embodiment! Where you

no longer have to deal with this ....clench around the heart".

The HEART!

Tracing this felt contraction, we always are drawn right back to that

beat, beat, beat. This beating heart! There! Here! This beating,

beating heart! The knots that manifest in the rest of the body all

can be seen to originate right here! This heartbeat – the primal

initiator. The root of this sense of contraction, of dis-ease. How

interesting!

Could this be where the sense of separation is arising? Right here?

Why, it's not even under our control, is it? We are not beating our

heart. It just beats, beats, beats, and all the worlds of experience

are born here. All the strategies are devised here. Here is where the

search begins! This is the womb of all seeking --

in REACTION to this beating.

Because of this beating we launch into the games of self & other.

Into the realms of experience, which are endless and of no ultimate

meaning, except to modify the original sense of contraction. Of

reaction to life. And, here is the most amazing part – we are doing

this to ourselves! We are literally pinching ourselves! All the time.

24/7. We are always just clenching this being, and manufacturing our

search as a reaction to this clench. Even the strategy to relax this

clench is only another form of clenching, of reacting. In fact, there

is NOTHING to be done! NOTHING that we can DO! It is not about doing

or not-doing. All that is more of the same activity.

The activity of the contraction. Our present and continuous activity.

Yes – our futility! It's hopeless!

There is no way out! Even stopping the heart will only yield a

temporary respite. Forget about stopping thought! Has any strategy

you have ever devised led to Happiness – True Happiness? Ever? Always?

Let's face it – we cannot "become" happy. As long as we are busy

trying to become happy, we are projecting happiness into the future,

as a kind of reward for our efforts.This can get quite complicated,

can it not? First, this little itsy bitsy teenie weenie knot, and

then … Yikes!

At a certain point in life, the search for faith, or belief, or hope

in the possibilities of experience can begin to loose their

fascination. Some might say that this is a moment of Grace. We just

can't seem to generate the same old juice, or enthusiasm, for that

pursuit, whatever it might be (belief in money, food, sex, power,

bliss, knowledge, God, whatever) which was targeted to make them

happy. The old "been there, done that" cliche. Here they fall into

the simple condition of their primal boredom, doubt, discomfort, and

accompanying sense of separation from life & love. Paradoxically,

there can also be an availability at this point, a kind of open space

that develops, in which inspection and inquiry become possible. While

the search was on, this was not the case. All the bets were placed,

and the payoff was just around the corner - in other words, if I only

do this, then I will get what I really want. If I only do this

practice, take this vitamin and eat raw foods, get my hair just

right, have this career, marry this lover, find the perfect master,

achieve this "spiritual" state, get enlightened, keep my eye on the

prize, then I will be happy.

In other words, happiness is postponed as something in the future,

thus precluding the realization of Now. So when that is all

recognized as futile, true change can be born. When we really see how

the dog has been chasing the tail, a shift can occur, and in this

shift the seeds of maturation can take root. If we do, that potential

for free attention to the ever-deepening inquiry is realized,

particularly in mutuality with the ones life brings us as true

Friends (whether inner or outer - same same) and in this mutuality we

can enter into the discovery of our Immortal Nature, prior to the

play of mind and desire, but also embodied as this very Play.

Awareness begins to wake up to Itself. In this ripeness we can

welcome the Embrace of our own Original Innocence, and also see what

it is that we are still unwilling to embrace, and thereby begin to

feel the Mystery, and witness our lingering recoil, until at last it

is obvious that this Mystery, this Life, this Flow, is Who we Are,

and have always Been, and will always Be, and there is no longer any

motive or movement to have it be anything other than what It Is.

 

LoveAlways,

 

b

[Guest guest]

, Wim Borsboom <wim@a...> wrote:

> Yes, that is enough weepiness, Valerie, perfect.

>

> One thing first though, please see that you can accept

> that nobody is born bipolar.

 

Valerie, don't listen to this hucksters crap. He's not

a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist.

 

He doesn't have a clue, even as he's setting himself up

to be your savior. His ego requires that he be the hero

in someone's life, and right now he has you in his sights.

 

Don't give this sorry wannabe the opportunity to inflate

his view of himself.

 

All we can do is the best we can with what we have, and

what we have is unique to us. You sound very stable and

healthy in the context you've described. You may want

things to be better. I want things to be better in my

life as well, but I'm dealing with conditions as they

exist, as you appear to be. That's really all we can do.

 

The effusive poetry that flies around here is just certain

people's expression. It's definitely not an indication of

a life lived in deeper understanding.

 

I find it all extremely tiresome and occluding. It is

not a standard in any way, shape or form. Live your life

as you are, keep up your practice, and trust that God

(or the universe or whatever concept you hold) will

allow your life to be lived as it should.

 

Take care and good luck--jody.

[Guest guest]

, "jodyrrr" <jodyrrr> wrote:

>trust that God

(or the universe or whatever concept you hold) will

allow your life to be lived as it should.

 

 

.....Dear Jody,

 

have you found some benefit through trusting in concepts?

 

LoveAlways,

 

b

[Guest guest]

, "hrtbeat7" <hrtbeat7> wrote:

> , "jodyrrr" <jodyrrr> wrote:

>

> >trust that God

> (or the universe or whatever concept you hold) will

> allow your life to be lived as it should.

>

>

> ....Dear Jody,

>

> have you found some benefit through trusting in concepts?

>

> LoveAlways,

>

> b

 

Ramakrishna said, "Bhakti is the easiest path." If we

are to come into relationship with the Divine, we may find

it useful to employ an idea to represent God.

 

In my life I employed the concept Kali. I became the

surrendered devotee of the Mahashakti in the form of

the Ma Kali Dakshineswari.

 

By my employing the concept Kali, I came into a direct

and harmonious relationship with the universe.

 

So yes, you can find benefit from employing concepts,

at least until it is time to let them go. If you

are truly surrendered then they will fall off of

their own accord.

 

love--jody.

[Guest guest]

, "jodyrrr" <jodyrrr> wrote:

 

>So yes, you can find benefit from employing concepts,

at least until it is time to let them go. If you

are truly surrendered then they will fall off of

their own accord.

 

 

....Dear Jody,

 

Nicely put!

 

Personally, I find such concepts about surrender rather tiresome and

occluding, though.

 

(just kidding)

 

LoveAlways,

 

b

[Guest guest]

, "hrtbeat7" <hrtbeat7> wrote:

> , "jodyrrr" <jodyrrr> wrote:

>

>

> >So yes, you can find benefit from employing concepts,

> at least until it is time to let them go. If you

> are truly surrendered then they will fall off of

> their own accord.

>

>

> ...Dear Jody,

>

> Nicely put!

>

> Personally, I find such concepts about surrender rather tiresome and

> occluding, though.

>

> (just kidding)

>

> LoveAlways,

>

> b

 

It reminds one of the timeless vedic allegory about

using a thorn to remove a thorn.

 

love--jody.

[Guest guest]

, "jodyrrr" <jodyrrr> wrote:

 

It reminds one of the timeless vedic allegory about

using a thorn to remove a thorn.

 

 

 

....Careful --

you're verging on the poetic!

 

:-))

 

LoveAlways,

 

b

[Guest guest]

Ah Jody... x:

 

Wim

 

 

 

jodyrrr [jodyrrr]

Thursday, June 20, 2002 9:48 AM

Re: sacrifice

 

 

, Wim Borsboom <wim@a...> wrote:

> Yes, that is enough weepiness, Valerie, perfect.

>

> One thing first though, please see that you can accept

> that nobody is born bipolar.

 

Valerie, don't listen to this hucksters crap. He's not

a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist.

 

He doesn't have a clue, even as he's setting himself up

to be your savior. His ego requires that he be the hero

in someone's life, and right now he has you in his sights.

 

Don't give this sorry wannabe the opportunity to inflate

his view of himself.

 

All we can do is the best we can with what we have, and

what we have is unique to us. You sound very stable and

healthy in the context you've described. You may want

things to be better. I want things to be better in my

life as well, but I'm dealing with conditions as they

exist, as you appear to be. That's really all we can do.

 

The effusive poetry that flies around here is just certain

people's expression. It's definitely not an indication of

a life lived in deeper understanding.

 

I find it all extremely tiresome and occluding. It is

not a standard in any way, shape or form. Live your life

as you are, keep up your practice, and trust that God

(or the universe or whatever concept you hold) will

allow your life to be lived as it should.

 

Take care and good luck--jody.

 

 

 

/join

 

 

 

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is

where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

 

 

 

Your use of is subject to

 

 

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[Guest guest]

aha i've caught you being left brained; such as engineering! when i'm all right

brained airy-fairy...

but i think in fact i *know* - i git it! it's like getting knocked in the haid

real hard to knock some *sense*

into some people (talkin bout myself too, i get to say that :-) )

i just can't fathom "unbearable pain of deep remorse" - don't want to

go that far! I'd like to put the skids on it way before then!

I don't know whom Yama is but a good God/desse's moniker - rhymes with "trauma"

and "mama" - how could anybody go wrong?

(care to explain who is Yama? oh whatever...)

:-)))

I-me-mine as co-ordinates - does that mean one can use them in navigation?

 

Okay - no hair - Got enough fish scales too over there, i bet?

 

:-)

valerie

thanx for reply!

 

ecirada wrote:

> On 6/19/02 at 9:45 PM v wrote:

>

> [<snip>

>

> Hi Val,

>

> Being joyful without a break is "default", when "manage" is but that

> word and personal pronouns are shortcuts for coordinates!

> When repeatedly having been faced with death, there can be that

> rare experience, sentient life as whole is loved. So what does that

> make of the events that were considered unpleasant, like abuse?

> The hint is, without at least one of those mind bending "surrender

> to Yama" experiences, life remains ruled by conflicts lying so deep

> that often they remain unknown, until death - and the flash of insight

> then, with the unbearable pain of deepest remorse, causes a trauma:

> blissful forgetfulness, although "the thread continues".

> The moral: the auto-protection of the mind-body even safeguards

> from what sooner or later has to be addressed...

>

> Jan

>

> BTW don't send hair: no woman's hair could possibly beat Funny's

> gorgeous golden fur! :-))

>

 

<snip>

[Guest guest]

hrtbeat7 wrote:

, v <amused@p...>

wrote:

Anyway - if anybody has any comments about how or why they managed

to

become so unceasingly joyful and in love with all of life, I'd

appreciate a few hints.

BRAVO on an excellent treatise! :-)

....Dear V,

Most take unhappiness (which is nothing but the sense of an

independent self) seriously, and so become convinced that it is

real ­

that it is what they are. Identifying exclusively with this sense,

rather than That in which it arises, turns millionaires into

imaginary paupers. It's all based on a simple and innocent case

of

mistaken identity. So, let's inspect this for a moment, OK?

Well, whether things are going smoothly, or not so smoothly, or

whether we're doing pretty well, or maybe not so well, and

regardless of our temporary circumstances (and they are always

temporary, yes?) ­ there is something that we can notice.

It is

always there, because it is something that we are doing. In fact,

as

we really take a close look, we can see that it is something that

we

are always doing. Morning, noon, & night. 24/7. Perpetually.

And what

might that be? Forget all the poetry. Forget all the philosophy.

Forget all the God-speak, and all the jumbled ramble that passes

for

thinking, the little conversations flitting willy nilly through

the

cerebelum. Just feel into this, right now. Always right now. Now,

not

elsewhere. So often we are elsewhere, as if always fleeing from

....

What? Do we ever actually stop and just fully and completely inhabit

this....body?

People who take the time to ground themselves - people who do yoga - that

is why taking the time to ground is so important.

And gets me to thinking about the breath, and the LUNGS being another

involuntary muscle.

 

And what about this body? Let's take a really good look, shall

we?

This body itself. What a mysterious, and yet absolutely transparently

simple mechanism! This body that we are! This very body! And what

can

be observed? What is always going on?

There seems to be a kind of knot, whether we are very relaxed or

tense, a kind of contraction, a dis-ease that is continuous and

primal. A discomfort that, when really inspected, is found to be

the

root motivator for all of our seeking, our searching. Not

just "spiritual" searching, but seeking itself. Seeking to change

the

state or condition of the being, so as to neutralize this primal

sense of ...unhappiness. Dis-ease. Dis-comfort, as the body. We

want ...something. We try food. We try sex. We water our plants

and

are nice to animals and neighbors. We try to be "spiritual". Holy.

We

want to have a relationship with "God", so as to "transcend" this

felt sense of suffering, this root contraction that we are always

feeling, as the body. We deny the body. We want out! Look at the

history of the species ­ one long effort to just...

get out! To do something about this knot, felt in and as the body.

Look at our own contemporary culture! What is the message: "Yes,

you

can manipulate life and, with a little strategy, get enough money,

food, sex, recognition, love, toys, longevity, health, halleluliah,

whatever - to somehow get to the point where you can be released,

free of this nagging little squirming sense of…embodiment! Where

you

no longer have to deal with this ....clench around the heart".

The HEART!

Good call!

Tracing this felt contraction, we always are

drawn right back to that

beat, beat, beat. This beating heart! There! Here! This beating,

beating heart! The knots that manifest in the rest of the body

all

can be seen to originate right here! This heartbeat ­ the primal

initiator. The root of this sense of contraction, of dis-ease.

How

interesting!

Could this be where the sense of separation is arising? Right here?

Why, it's not even under our control, is it? We are not beating

our

heart. It just beats, beats, beats, and all the worlds of experience

are born here. All the strategies are devised here. Here is where

the

search begins! This is the womb of all seeking --

in REACTION to this beating.

Because of this beating we launch into the games of self &

other.

Into the realms of experience, which are endless and of no ultimate

meaning, except to modify the original sense of contraction. Of

reaction to life. And, here is the most amazing part ­ we are

doing

this to ourselves! We are literally pinching ourselves! All the

time.

24/7. We are always just clenching this being, and manufacturing

our

search as a reaction to this clench. Even the strategy to relax

this

clench is only another form of clenching, of reacting. In fact,

there

is NOTHING to be done! NOTHING that we can DO! It is not about

doing

or not-doing. All that is more of the same activity.

The activity of the contraction. Our present and continuous activity.

Yes ­ our futility! It's hopeless!

There is no way out! Even stopping the heart will only yield a

temporary respite. Forget about stopping thought! Has any strategy

you have ever devised led to Happiness ­ True Happiness? Ever?

Always?

Let's face it ­ we cannot "become" happy. As long as we are

busy

trying to become happy, we are projecting happiness into the future,

as a kind of reward for our efforts.This can get quite complicated,

can it not? First, this little itsy bitsy teenie weenie knot, and

then … Yikes!

At a certain point in life, the search for faith, or belief, or

hope

in the possibilities of experience can begin to loose their

fascination. Some might say that this is a moment of Grace. We

just

can't seem to generate the same old juice, or enthusiasm, for that

pursuit, whatever it might be (belief in money, food, sex, power,

bliss, knowledge, God, whatever) which was targeted to make them

happy. The old "been there, done that" cliche. Here they fall into

the simple condition of their primal boredom, doubt, discomfort,

and

accompanying sense of separation from life & love. Paradoxically,

there can also be an availability at this point, a kind of open

space

that develops, in which inspection and inquiry become possible.

While

the search was on, this was not the case. All the bets were placed,

and the payoff was just around the corner - in other words, if

I only

do this, then I will get what I really want. If I only do this

practice, take this vitamin and eat raw foods, get my hair just

right, have this career, marry this lover, find the perfect master,

achieve this "spiritual" state, get enlightened, keep my eye on

the

prize, then I will be happy.

In other words, happiness is postponed as something in the future,

thus precluding the realization of Now. So when that is all

recognized as futile, true change can be born. When we really see

how

the dog has been chasing the tail, a shift can occur, and in this

shift the seeds of maturation can take root. If we do, that potential

for free attention to the ever-deepening inquiry is realized,

particularly in mutuality with the ones life brings us as true

Friends (whether inner or outer - same same) and in this mutuality

we

can enter into the discovery of our Immortal Nature, prior to the

play of mind and desire, but also embodied as this very Play.

Awareness begins to wake up to Itself. In this ripeness we can

welcome the Embrace of our own Original Innocence, and also see

what

it is that we are still unwilling to embrace, and thereby begin

to

feel the Mystery, and witness our lingering recoil, until at last

it

is obvious that this Mystery, this Life, this Flow, is Who we Are,

and have always Been, and will always Be, and there is no longer

any

motive or movement to have it be anything other than what It Is.

And THEN we have the lungs, and the many types of breath - breath into

the lower lungs and circular breaths - the controlling of the breath, and

the involuntary breath.

best regards,

valerie

 

LoveAlways,

b

[Guest guest]

jodyrrr wrote:

, Wim Borsboom

<wim@a...> wrote:

> Yes, that is enough weepiness, Valerie, perfect.

>

> One thing first though, please see that you can accept

> that nobody is born bipolar.

Valerie, don't listen to this hucksters crap. He's not

a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist.

Jody you seem very well-educated yourself and I appreciate your opinions,

as I would hope you would mine.

I think Wim is a fascinating person and if he is a huckster doling

crap I'd appreciate the opportunity to decide that for myself,

cos I am a big girl with a big brain or two that wants to know everything

itself which is probly why I am asking all these questions from a remote

island in Alaska anyway, where I am safe, thankyou very much! ;-)

please & a gracious thanksyou,

valerie

:-)

[Guest guest]

jodyrrr wrote:

, v <amused@p...>

wrote:

> jodyrrr wrote:

>

> > , Wim Borsboom <wim@a...>

wrote:

> > > Yes, that is enough weepiness, Valerie, perfect.

> > >

> > > One thing first though, please see that you can accept

> > > that nobody is born bipolar.

> >

> > Valerie, don't listen to this hucksters crap. He's not

> > a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist.

> >

>

> Jody you seem very well-educated yourself and I appreciate your

> opinions, as I would hope you would mine.

> I think Wim is a fascinating person and if he is a huckster doling

crap

> I'd appreciate the opportunity to decide that for myself,

> cos I am a big girl with a big brain or two that wants to know

> everything itself which is probly why I am asking all these questions

> from a remote island in Alaska anyway, where I am safe, thankyou

very

> much! ;-)

> please & a gracious thanksyou,

> valerie

> :-)

It's good to know that you have yourself in your own

good hands Valerie.

--jody.

yeah - after I got the 102 stitch concussion on the right side of my head

- I got to where I could be a pretty good judge of character!

;-) that was back in 1973 or so but it generates tension on the right

side of my head at every moment. So few people are so lucky!

:-)

valerie

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> jodyrrr wrote:

>

> > , Wim Borsboom <wim@a...> wrote:

> > > Yes, that is enough weepiness, Valerie, perfect.

> > >

> > > One thing first though, please see that you can accept

> > > that nobody is born bipolar.

> >

> > Valerie, don't listen to this hucksters crap. He's not

> > a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist.

> >

>

> Jody you seem very well-educated yourself and I appreciate your

> opinions, as I would hope you would mine.

> I think Wim is a fascinating person and if he is a huckster doling crap

> I'd appreciate the opportunity to decide that for myself,

> cos I am a big girl with a big brain or two that wants to know

> everything itself which is probly why I am asking all these questions

> from a remote island in Alaska anyway, where I am safe, thankyou very

> much! ;-)

> please & a gracious thanksyou,

> valerie

> :-)

 

It's good to know that you have yourself in your own

good hands Valerie.

 

--jody.

[Guest guest]

On 6/20/02 at 3:03 PM v wrote:

 

ºaha i've caught you being left brained; such as engineering! when i'm all

ºright brained airy-fairy...

 

Oh? rapid with conclusions?

 

ºbut i think in fact i *know* - i git it! it's like getting knocked in the

ºhaid real hard to knock some *sense*

ºinto some people (talkin bout myself too, i get to say that :-) )

 

It depends - the lights peed barrier is harder than the hardest rock

yet invisible

 

ºi just can't fathom "unbearable pain of deep remorse" - don't want to

ºgo that far! I'd like to put the skids on it way before then!

 

 

Don't worry - life doesn't make exceptions ;-)

 

ºI don't know whom Yama is but a good God/desse's moniker - rhymes with

º"trauma" and "mama" - how could anybody go wrong?

 

Aren't you connected to the Internet with availability of search engines?

 

º(care to explain who is Yama? oh whatever...)

º:-)))

ºI-me-mine as co-ordinates - does that mean one can use them in navigation?

 

Only if you're sensitive enough! )

 

º

ºOkay - no hair - Got enough fish scales too over there, i bet?

 

That too!

 

º

º:-)

ºvalerie

ºthanx for reply!

 

 

º

ºecirada wrote:

º

º> On 6/19/02 at 9:45 PM v wrote:

º>

º> [<snip>

º>

º> Hi Val,

º>

º> Being joyful without a break is "default", when "manage" is but that

º> word and personal pronouns are shortcuts for coordinates!

º> When repeatedly having been faced with death, there can be that

º> rare experience, sentient life as whole is loved. So what does that

º> make of the events that were considered unpleasant, like abuse?

º> The hint is, without at least one of those mind bending "surrender

º> to Yama" experiences, life remains ruled by conflicts lying so deep

º> that often they remain unknown, until death - and the flash of insight

º> then, with the unbearable pain of deepest remorse, causes a trauma:

º> blissful forgetfulness, although "the thread continues".

º> The moral: the auto-protection of the mind-body even safeguards

º> from what sooner or later has to be addressed...

º>

º> Jan

º>

º> BTW don't send hair: no woman's hair could possibly beat Funny's

º> gorgeous golden fur! :-))

º>

º

º<snip>

º

º

º

º/join

º

º

º

º

º

ºAll paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

ºperceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and

ºsubside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not

ºdifferent than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the

ºnature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present.

ºIt is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the

ºFinality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of

ºSelf-Knowledge, spont

ºaneously arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

º

º

º

ºYour use of is subject to

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> hrtbeat7 wrote:

> > Do we ever actually stop and just fully and completely

> > inhabit this....body?

 

V:

> People who take the time to ground themselves - people who do yoga -

> that is why taking the time to ground is so important.

> And gets me to thinking about the breath, and the LUNGS being

> another involuntary muscle.

 

Hi there. (or should i say hi here?)

 

Just my 2 cents after getting a lighting jolt...

 

Most physical disease can be traced back to

not moving, which is associated with being in a sleeping state.

(or not being aware)

 

Moving the body (in this context) is physically healthy

and can be associated with

being conscious (or being voluntary)

 

I don't propose to know what this obervation might mean

but I think it may suggest

 

(drum roll please)

 

we have real options here...

 

i.e., there are no victims.

(only dreamt of ones).

 

Voluntarily,

David

[Guest guest]

, "david bozzi" <david.bozzi@i...> wrote:

 

[snip]

> there are no victims.

> (only dreamt of ones).

>

> Voluntarily,

> David

 

It's an astonishing truth.

 

But the show must go on.

[Guest guest]

, Wim Borsboom <wim@a...> wrote:

> Ah Jody... x:

>

> Wim

 

Yes Wim, you are right.

 

My brother is bipolar, and my emotional reaction

to your statement got the best of me.

 

I'm sorry it was directed at you.

 

Thanks for being a model list citizen and showing

me the hurtfulness of my outburst in the best way

possible.

 

--jody.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jody,

 

Wim

 

 

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