Be the wound

[Guest guest]

The Secret Key

 

.............................................................................

...

Marin County, California - October 28, 1995

 

Gangaji: The words spoken in satsang are vehicles to stop the mind, so that

what can be realized is what has never been seen before, never been heard

before, never been thought before, and never been realized before. In that

way, our meeting together is fresh and alive and not about some particular

dogma or doctrine. It is a meeting of truth.

 

Just for a moment, for this one hour, let your attention rest in awareness

Itself, the source of all attention. Then there is the possibility for

Self-recognition to occur. Finally, you will recognize that no matter what

your attention is placed on, it is also that Source. There is never any

separation from Source. The soul of human being is never separate from the

truth of God.

 

In satsang we meet together very soulfully in recognition of that which we

come from, that which provides our existence, that which we return to and

therefore, that which we are never separate from, not even for an instant.

Even in the worst times, the worst situations. Once you have recognized it,

you can check your past and see if ever this was absent. What a surprise!

You will see your entire past is overlaid on pure, pristine Beingness. The

great delight of a human being is the capacity to recognize itself as Being

prior to human, during human, and after human. In this recognition is found

deep intelligence, and you are in love with what you recognize.

 

Questioner: I know how to be in that space you're describing, but I don't

know how to stay there. I do psychological work, so I know about core

childhood wounds. I find that they will go into the background for awhile,

then eventually come up again. Could you give us your thoughts on healing

childhood traumas?

 

You speak about a core that is wounded, but I have to take issue with you

there. In this moment, find this core that is wounded. Then we are not just

theorizing, my thoughts versus your thoughts, where they meet, and where

they diverge. In this moment, sitting in this room, find the core of the

wound you feel and tell me what you find.

 

I call it a sacred wound.

 

I am not asking you its name. I mean to go into the very core of this that

you have called "wound," be it good wound or bad wound.

 

Okay. I find separateness.

 

Now you are telling yourself some story. Go into the very core of this

experience of separateness, and tell me what is there. Don't stay on the

periphery.

 

But I feel separate.

 

Stop saying, "I feel separate," and be separate. Do you understand? Stop all

internal commentary. We are speaking of directly experiencing "childhood

wound."

 

I feel abandoned.

 

"I feel abandoned" is still just commentary. Experience abandonment. Leave

out the "I," leave out the "feeling," and be abandonment itself. All the

way. This is only possible if you stop talking to yourself.

 

It feels like a deep hole.

 

I understand it feels like a hole. Maybe you even have an image of a hole,

and this hole has been called "abandonment." Dive into the core of this

hole, this abyss. Let go any idea of what is waiting for you in the core.

Now, be aware if you scramble back up onto the ledge of the abyss, or if you

start to tell yourself some story about the abyss and why it is there, who

abandoned who, etc. This is called, "The Story About the Abyss." There is

nothing wrong with that, but in this instance, because you are here in

satsang, and you have asked this question for many people, there is the

opportunity to stop talking about the story and to realize "abyss." To

realize it, you cannot name it, you cannot fight it, you cannot dramatize

it, and you cannot deny it. You must simply be it. Now, tell me where you

are.

 

It feels like a floating leaf.

 

This is beautiful imagery, but it is still superficial. Do you see? The

tendency is to move into imagery, into commentary, into evaluation, into

analysis, and then even more superficially into some conclusion about

things.

 

Just relax. Forget leaf. Forget abyss. Forget higher. Forget lower. Forget

me. Forget you. Just be.

 

Ironically, this is what you have feared: being nothing. Out of that fear

there have been many tales of woe, of wounds, and many experiences of

wounds, many experiences of horror. Finally, there comes a time in a very

privileged lifetime when you simply stop telling the story and directly

realize "who" is wounded after all. Now tell me, can you find someone? Can

you find anyone there who is wounded?

 

No. Where I stopped, the boundaries blurred, and I just became universal

consciousness.

 

Yes, it is a beautiful experience, but this is where the error comes in. You

did not become universal consciousness. You are universal consciousness.

What becomes is some story of you and me and this and that., who suffered,

and who didn't suffer, why the suffering is there, and how to get rid of the

suffering. This is what becomes. It becomes in universal consciousness. It

exists in that and it returns to that. In this one instant, when you are

willing to simply let go and be whatever it is you have been running from --

the abyss, the fear of being nothing, you discover directly that there is no

one here who is wounded. There is only universal consciousness.

 

So now, please, invite the wound back. See what you have to do to invite it

back. See the mechanism. See what is required. You must think some thought

or image some thing. Then you must think another thought about the image and

about the thought you just thought and pretty soon, the ache of the "wound"

begins. There is the thought about the ache, then the memory, then the

defense of the ache, and then a general sentiment around the ache. Do you

see? Now, once again, stop. Be the ache. In that way, you will see if the

ache is real. When you are willing to be absolutely abandoned, not fixed,

not united, but absolutely, completely, separate, alone and abandoned, then

you can discover "who" was ever abandoned, "who" has suffered.

 

I am not asking you to deny experience of suffering. Denial has been tried,

and it doesn't work. I am asking you to stop indulging the experience of

suffering. Maybe indulging generates more feeling than denial, and since

there is more feeling, there has been a conclusion that indulging must be

better or deeper or more significant. I am asking you to neither suppress

suffering, nor deny it, nor indulge it. Just be it, and then see, as you

already saw, as you demonstrated for us all. Simply being reveals universal

consciousness. This is the moment of the invitation to Self-exploration. It

is not an exploration of who's and why's and how-come's. It is an

exploration of the endless, universal consciousness that you are, that this

form of you has come in, exists through the grace of, and will one day

return to. In that instant, you died to your story. This is a beautiful

death, a secret death. It is the welcome to satsang.

 

Thank you.

 

I thank you. You demonstrated a clear introduction to your Self. Your true

Self. The core that has never been touched by any experience of wounding,

that remains free, whole, innocent, pure, radiating peace that is the

endless experience of one's Self.

 

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't have anything against wounds or

working with wounds. Clearly, it all has its place. Just as you tell

children certain stories to make them relax so that their growth can happen,

you have been told certain stories so that you could somehow deal with your

identification with the traumas of the past. Processing can be very useful,

but there comes a time in a particular life-stream where you are only

willing to settle for the truth. Somehow, in your life-stream, you have made

a prayer for truth, a plea for truth, and satsang has come to you to tell

you to stop. Stop the commentary. Stop the dialogue. Stop, and then see.

 

Maybe the commentary will return, but now you have been given a key, a

secret. It is a secret that was given to me by my master, Papaji, and by my

master's master, Ramana. It is the secret of Self-inquiry. It is the secret

of turning the mind inward to see "who" is suffering after all, rather than

continuing to follow the mind's outward flow into why, and how come, and

when, and who did what to whom. It is very simple, and it is a sign of

maturity that you can allow simplicity. Many people have fought with me for

hours around the periphery of the wound or the imagery that floats up. Your

willingness is a beautiful indication of maturity and true prayer to be

liberated from identification with woundedness.

 

Maybe you have been liberated from the denial of the wound before. Now you

can be liberated from indulgence or affirmation of the wound. Not

theoretically, but directly through your own experience of yourself as that

which is eternally whole. Not because I say so, but because you must have

glimpsed the truth of this. Throughout all of your tales of woundedness,

still, somehow you glimpsed the radiant beauty that you are. This is a very

lucky lifetime. Be true to your luck in this lifetime. Be grateful to that.

Stop paying homage to these wound gods, and start paying homage to this that

you have realized to be universal consciousness. Then see. See where your

life will be taken.

 

Direct experience is primary. We have tried going about it the other way

around, understanding mentally and then attempting to make reality follow.

That is called affirmation or positive thinking, and it can be very useful.

It is much better than negative thinking. But finally you want direct

experience with no thinking necessary. Then whatever thought arises of

worthlessness, you have been given a key. More than that, you have accepted

the key. You have put it in the lock of the knot in your heart and allowed

your heart to see itself as universal, boundary-less, and free. Isn't it

amazing? It is eternally amazing. If it is not amazing, then you haven't

heard what I am saying. Truth is not something one can ever be blasé about.

If you are blasé about it, you have conceptualized it into some kind of

religion. Truth is fresh and alive, always for the first time. What wonder!

 

Om Shanti

 

 

http://www.gangaji.org/satsang/library/meetings.asp

[Guest guest]

Dear Shawn,

 

Thanx for this - I went thru it word by word and it was applicable to

BE somebody, some concept, not just talk about it, one feeling twice

removed. Those masters really knew how to talk us into being our

problems, and I appreciate that.

It's like in music when one is playing with a flow and other people -

one is free and on key, or one is NOT. EL KA- BONG!!! - there is no

disguise! SO when there is one whom is wounded and wanting to talk or

make sense of it - it is the same - it is a co-ordinate with the group

or it does not fit in and does not belong there - it is off key. This is

how I see myself.

I see many people in this group soo very much over everyone's head IN

LOVE and trying to share, but not working out in all cases. Because I

can't fathom and I asked I will listen more and maybe have to go away or

not. I appreciate the 'Be the Wound' treatise - I will try

harder.

Be the wound - do not talk about it - I'm on the way!

:-)

valerie

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> Those masters really knew how to talk us into being our

> problems, and I appreciate that.

 

It's really funny that the really good masters

don't even know that they are masters.

> It's like in music when one is playing with a flow and other

> people - one is free and on key, or one is NOT. EL KA- BONG!!! -

> there is no disguise!

 

As a musician, I appreciate what you say.

I'd add that what's considered 'on key'

is like what's considered 'normal'

and that just because one may be considered

'off-key', in truth one may not actually be so

(it only appears that way in weird contexts)

> SO when there is one whom is wounded and wanting to talk or

> make sense of it - it is the same - it is a co-ordinate with the

> group or it does not fit in and does not belong there - it is off

> key. This is how I see myself.

 

Well, what you say is quite universal...

But the really profound lies beyond contexts...