Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 aka - the mundane domestic chores - when does one get to the point where such activities are cherished and an expression of love? maybe it's ego - but i am alway bothered by the fact with a brain like mine or some amount of talent i should be writing a novel or doing art or something i am better at. I am the kinda person who misses spots on the dishes - I should be working on things that I am trained for, and paying someone else to do the basic domestic chores, because i can go make $ at things a bit up the food chain, but Nooooooo - instead I have to do the mundane domestic chores (chop and carry?) too and have no time to express myself any other way! Is this a common problem? Is it being stuck in the wheel of karma? Does my attitude lack compassion? I just can't see the forest for the trees here - how to be happy doing domestic chores - well actually if it WAS actually chopping wood and carrying water I could enjoy that, but it's really not in the year 2002... Any suggestions? all my best, valerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 In a message dated 7/18/02 2:48:16 PM Mountain Daylight Time, amused writes: << yes - and for me that's when it becomes a brain pinch - ouch! Gotta get this done so I can do tthat. Not just doing ONE thing, doiing 5 things at the same time like a choreography to madness >> This has been such an interesting issue to wrestle with -- especially as a woman who grew up at a time when only females did domestic jobs, paid or unpaid. I wholly agree with Greg's post and wouldn't bother adding to it except that I've found a fun practice to not only do chores mindfully, but also shamanically. Do one thing at a time, with full, not to say obsessive, attention. Intend the action to have effect on another level, e.g., clean out garage = severing stale attachments of all kinds. Somehow get out of the cycle of doing what you want being a reward for chores. Do what you want FIRST. It helps a great deal if your life is simplified enough so that chores feel like self-love. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 Hi valerie, There are so many things to say about that. One of the most basic is, try try try to make time to do and explore the things you love. This might involve doing the chores faster, or earlier in the morning or at night. Even in a month when you are doing some chores and spending some time doing what you love, you feel different about the whole thing than in months when you do chores and don't get time to do the things you love. Part of the negative feeling about the chores is a subterranean fear that you will be cut off or forever prevented from doing the things you love. If that fear were to turn into a confidence that you would really get to do those cherished things, then the chores would be lighter! Another thing is, *someone* has to do the chores! the tradh must get taken out, the dishes must be done. Saying that *you* shouldn't be the one to was your dishes is tantamount to saying that *someone else should* wash your dishes. Are you really sure that someone else should be doing this for you, even if paid? When faced like this, the thing takes on a new light. Another thing is, there really *is* a time when every chore is embraced as just-as-it-should-be, all equally a part of the dance, all an expression of love. Love, --Greg At 11:14 AM 7/18/02 -0700, v wrote: >aka - the mundane domestic chores - when does one get to the point where such activities are cherished and an expression of love? >maybe it's ego - but i am alway bothered by the fact with a brain like mine or some amount of talent i should be writing a novel or doing art or something i am better at. I am the kinda person who misses spots on the dishes - I should be working on things that I am trained for, and paying someone else to do the basic domestic chores, because i can go make $ at things a bit up the food chain, but Nooooooo - instead I have to do the mundane domestic chores (chop and carry?) too and have no time to express myself any other way! >Is this a common problem? Is it being stuck in the wheel of karma? Does my attitude lack compassion? I just can't see the forest for the trees here - how to be happy doing domestic chores - well actually if it WAS actually chopping wood and carrying water I could enjoy that, but it's really not in the year 2002... >Any suggestions? >all my best, >valerie > > > > >/join > > > > > >All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights, perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness. Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a. > > > >Your use of is subject to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 Greg Goode wrote: Hi valerie, There are so many things to say about that. One of the most basic is, try try try to make time to do and explore the things you love. This might involve doing the chores faster, or earlier in the morning or at night. Even in a month when you are doing some chores and spending some time doing what you love, you feel different about the whole thing than in months when you do chores and don't get time to do the things you love. Part of the negative feeling about the chores is a subterranean fear that you will be cut off or forever prevented from doing the things you love. If that fear were to turn into a confidence that you would really get to do those cherished things, then the chores would be lighter! yes cherished - or even just the yoga practice and meditation, that is survival - THEN comes the great novel or poetry or paintings and what is cherished - such a very very odd balance! Another thing is, *someone* has to do the chores! the tradh must get taken out, the dishes must be done. Saying that *you* shouldn't be the one to was your dishes is tantamount to saying that *someone else should* wash your dishes. Are you really sure that someone else should be doing this for you, even if paid? When faced like this, the thing takes on a new light. well - from small communities when working in the woods there were people who were better at one odd job or another, and in many cases there are people who work as housekeepers because they love the low stress and they need the extra money. sometimes when overwhelmed with major responsibilities as single mom and etc. it's been an option - truthfully - in both directions! But you're right - ideally now that I have a dishwasher I should devise a plan to do my own chores when i can AND more... Another thing is, there really *is* a time when every chore is embraced as just-as-it-should-be, all equally a part of the dance, all an expression of love. yes - and for me that's when it becomes a brain pinch - ouch! Gotta get this done so I can do tthat. Not just doing ONE thing, doiing 5 things at the same time like a choreography to madness...all mundane domestic chores... gotta fit more things in there OR learn how to love it all, right? Is that what whirling dervishes do? <snip> love, valerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 Hbarrett47 (AT) aol (DOT) com wrote: In a message dated 7/18/02 2:48:16 PM Mountain Daylight Time, amused (AT) ptialaska (DOT) net writes: << yes - and for me that's when it becomes a brain pinch - ouch! Gotta get this done so I can do tthat. Not just doing ONE thing, doiing 5 things at the same time like a choreography to madness >> This has been such an interesting issue to wrestle with -- especially as a woman who grew up at a time when only females did domestic jobs, paid or unpaid. I wholly agree with Greg's post and wouldn't bother adding to it except that I've found a fun practice to not only do chores mindfully, but also shamanically. Do one thing at a time, with full, not to say obsessive, attention. Intend the action to have effect on another level, e.g., clean out garage = severing stale attachments of all kinds. Somehow get out of the cycle of doing what you want being a reward for chores. Do what you want FIRST. It helps a great deal if your life is simplified enough so that chores feel like self-love. Holly Now that's a nice twist on the dilemma - that way it's not like you're missing the REAL boat by taking so much time cleaning the kitchen or whatever but feel that you can afford the mindfulness because your real and first calling has been attended to. I don't mean to sound like a snob or like I don't want to clean up after myself or daughter or anybody else, but most of the time is taken up from that and - NO - it's not real mindful yet because it takes away from other things many people tell me I should be doing. Yes it's my time and my choice, but I have a wealth of stories and illustrations that need attnetion someday! When chores feel like self love I'll know I have arrived! thanx, valerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2002 Report Share Posted July 19, 2002 Wim Borsboom wrot WimPSThose chores?I am getting very good at doing the dishes lately, and whenever I visit clients for longer stays, I do the dishes, not because I love myself, but because I think it is just right to do them...Michelle paraphrased for me, "Before enlightenment you no clean up, you no do dishes, after enlightenment you do clean up, you do do dishes." Dear Wim and all, You know it's odd - I love to go to friend's houses who are worse off depressed than me and just DIG IN to their dishes - spend hours doing what they haven't done for days and days - clean all the counters and spit shine their floors - but it's cos it's THEIR house not mine. Somehow that makes the difference, eh? And it seems to be a generational thing - my mom, as well as other moms of people my age I know will cook the dinner and practically before you're even done eating will be taking your plate to wash and wipe all the counters and tables and sweep the floors before they relax themselves. Is it because they came from the Depression Era and every wasted moment cost food in the belly? I don't want to claim any great genius when I could be cleaning the kitchen instead - and i think Kheyala's simplicity of Rasa ranch is wonderful - I don't have that kinda coziness. I have more substitutions for primal screams and healing as it happens. It's just that even people read what I write for our little paper here I sometimes work for and think I should be writing and doing more than what I'm doing with this life, but it's not absolutely neccessary. Learning to be humble and happy doing the mundane domestic chores would be another approach, and doing creative things first sounds best of all. my best, valerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2002 Report Share Posted July 19, 2002 Dear Valerie, > When chores feel like self love I'll know I have arrived! That made me laugh... I don't think that that should count as the test though... Those ...ahum... "arrived masters" (I'm still laughing) had others to do the chores... > I have a wealth of stories and illustrations that need attention someday! Some days, just take the luxury and love yourself so much that you will attend to those stories and illustrations... I very much love your watercolours as you know. Do you do people too or animals? And yes, tell us those stories, this satsangh pines for them... And you know they don't have to be "hunky dory" and "lovey dovey", we share this whole earthly/heavenly sojourn together, may we be your audience... Tears of sadness and tears of happiness come from the same spot. Love you, Wim PS Those chores? I am getting very good at doing the dishes lately, and whenever I visit clients for longer stays, I do the dishes, not because I love myself, but because I think it is just right to do them... Michelle paraphrased for me, "Before enlightenment you no clean up, you no do dishes, after enlightenment you do clean up, you do do dishes." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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