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Adventures at Rasa Ranch #19

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7/19/02 "The Nitty Gritty"

 

The point at which it occurs to Jim to tidy up a room is about the

third or fourth time he goes to find something and he can't. I am by

no means an uptight housekeeper (although I have been known to scurry

around like a crazy woman before a visit from my mother) but my

threshold for mess seems to be a bit lower than his. I am always

amazed at how little housework there is to be done when he is away

for awhile.

 

This can be a source of contention between us.

 

You know, he has been this way since he was just one of my several

housemates years ago and he was like this even when we were living on

the road. In fact, he has never been any different as long as I've

known him.

 

Would I rather not live with him? No. Would I rather that he try to

be different for my sake? Goodness, no. Would I rather that he be

different, naturally? Well, I certainly suffer everytime I do and I

would prefer not to suffer. So that leaves me with one option....to

accept him exactly as he is, tidy or not, and only do the cleaning

when I am moved to do it with a sense of freedom.

 

HEY! I feel like vacuuming! :)

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Hi Kheyala,

 

My wife is a "Messie".

This one is too hot for me to handle.

I bow to your achieved consciousness in this area.

 

However, things have gotten a little better since I stopped nagging.

I created a beautiful area next to her bed and somehow that inspired

her. So I just praise beautiful her, beautiful areas when I see them,

and try to create beauty, tidiness and simplicity where I can.

 

All I can say is that I am learning to work on myself and not on her

too much. Sigh.

 

John L.

 

 

, "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...> wrote:

> 7/19/02 "The Nitty Gritty"

>

> The point at which it occurs to Jim to tidy up a room is about the

third or fourth time he goes to find something and he can't. I am by

no means an uptight housekeeper (although I have been known to scurry

around like a crazy woman before a visit from my mother) but my

threshold for mess seems to be a bit lower than his. I am always

amazed at how little housework there is to be done when he is away

for awhile.

>

> This can be a source of contention between us.

>

> You know, he has been this way since he was just one of my several

housemates years ago and he was like this even when we were living on

the road. In fact, he has never been any different as long as I've

known him.

>

> Would I rather not live with him? No. Would I rather that he try

to be different for my sake? Goodness, no. Would I rather that he

be different, naturally? Well, I certainly suffer everytime I do and

I would prefer not to suffer. So that leaves me with one

option....to accept him exactly as he is, tidy or not, and only do

the cleaning when I am moved to do it with a sense of freedom.

>

> HEY! I feel like vacuuming! :)

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Hi Kheyala,

You wrote:

> In fact, he [the husband] has never been any different as long as

I've known him.

I would like to generalize this to encompass pretty well all men,

husbands especially, but I won't... hahahaha

Wim,

Of course I exclude all men on this list, don't know about myself though... :-)

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, Wim Borsboom <wim@a...> wrote:

> Hi Kheyala,

>

> You wrote:

> > In fact, he [the husband] has never been any different as long as

I've

> known him.

>

 

Hi Wim, :)

 

It's interesting that you bring up that particular line, because ever

since that Adventure was written I have been seeing acutely that I am

not fundamentally any different either, and my awareness of the

suffering that I experience when I wish he (or anyone else) were

different applies equally to myself.

 

In plainer words, I captured a thought that had "I wish I were

different" under it and I saw the immense potential suffering

embedded in it.

 

(I happened to be in the act of throwing out trash when I caught that

thought, and so you can guess what I decided to do with it. ;)

 

Love,

Kheyala

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Hi John are you then one of those special husbands?

 

Good for you...

 

Wim

 

 

johnrloganis [johnrloganis]

Sunday, July 21, 2002 12:49 PM

Re: Adventures at Rasa Ranch #19

 

 

Hi Kheyala,

 

My wife is a "Messie".

This one is too hot for me to handle.

I bow to your achieved consciousness in this area.

 

However, things have gotten a little better since I stopped nagging.

I created a beautiful area next to her bed and somehow that inspired

her. So I just praise beautiful her, beautiful areas when I see them,

and try to create beauty, tidiness and simplicity where I can.

 

All I can say is that I am learning to work on myself and not on her

too much. Sigh.

 

John L.

 

 

, "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...> wrote:

> 7/19/02 "The Nitty Gritty"

>

> The point at which it occurs to Jim to tidy up a room is about the

third or fourth time he goes to find something and he can't. I am by

no means an uptight housekeeper (although I have been known to scurry

around like a crazy woman before a visit from my mother) but my

threshold for mess seems to be a bit lower than his. I am always

amazed at how little housework there is to be done when he is away

for awhile.

>

> This can be a source of contention between us.

>

> You know, he has been this way since he was just one of my several

housemates years ago and he was like this even when we were living on

the road. In fact, he has never been any different as long as I've

known him.

>

> Would I rather not live with him? No. Would I rather that he try

to be different for my sake? Goodness, no. Would I rather that he

be different, naturally? Well, I certainly suffer everytime I do and

I would prefer not to suffer. So that leaves me with one

option....to accept him exactly as he is, tidy or not, and only do

the cleaning when I am moved to do it with a sense of freedom.

>

> HEY! I feel like vacuuming! :)

 

 

 

/join

 

 

 

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home is

where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

 

 

 

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Hi Kheyala,

 

You wrote:

>>> In plainer words, I captured a thought that had "I wish I were

different" under it and I saw the immense potential suffering embedded in

it.

(I happened to be in the act of throwing out trash when I caught that

thought, and so you can guess what I decided to do with it. ;) <<<

 

Maybe next time, you and your husband throw out the thrash together... :-)

 

Wim

 

---

Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

Version: 6.0.375 / Virus Database: 210 - Release 7/10/2002

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Hi Wim,

All I can say is I try.

Besides the other way didn't work!

John L.

 

, Wim Borsboom <wim@a...> wrote:

> Hi John are you then one of those special husbands?

>

> Good for you...

>

> Wim

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