Circumstantial Awareness

[Guest guest]

Dear Friends,

 

Last night in a conversation, the idea of being "grounded" when

bliss floods over and in one, lead to a revisiting of the early days

of my sadhana. My oldest daughter, Claire, is an asthmatic and has

been so since age 2 1/2. If you know anything at all about asthmatics

you will know the danger is always there of actually dying from an

attack. Many were the nights that i had to rush my little Darling to

the emergency room because her oxygen level fell so low that her tiny

lips were blue and she was nearly unable to draw a breath. These

attacks can be sudden and severe. This constant call to be aware of

any sound she made, any slight difference in her breathing, led to my

developing wihtout even being aware of it, the ability to be "always

awake and aware." No matter if i had fallen into deepest sleep, or

had partied heavily, nothing prevented me from being always

a "listener" to her movements. i realized fully that her life

actually was in my hands and my responsibility was evident and

demanding.

 

Another thing that developed at this time was the need and ability to

become completely non-attached to the situation. If i had allowed it

to become "real" i would have lost my mind (HA!) due to the level of

constant stress, year after year after year. i was able to perform

with complete loving attention this constant watchfulness without

being affected by it. It was like i was just the witness, always

awake and always aware. During this time i also was practicing deep

and regular meditation. Somehow, i think that mothers of small

children, any children, and especially a seriously ill child, develop

a natural ability to always be awake and ready and also to become

somewhat or much unattached to any experience that arises in this

service to the Loved One. What a natural way for the Beloved One to

lead the individual back into becoming aware and awake naturally. The

need to preserve this is followed by that amazing non-attachment and

equanimity under the most grueling circumstances. Anyone who has ever

raised a child with such a dangerous illness will know what i am

saying. There is an absolute need to remain always ready and always

untouched by any of it at all.

 

My question is this:

 

If this thing developed so naturally due to the necessity of such,

and it seems to have stayed with me now in everyday circumstances, as

in the thing i first mentioned about bliss wiping out one's ability

to stay "with the program at hand" and some are able more clearly to

do so, might it not be due to the intense training and developement

from this mother-child relationship which called for such abilities

to become pronounced?

 

Another wonderful thing is that when the mother always remains in a

state of peace and calm regardless of the severity of the situations,

such as broken bones, gaping wounds, asthma, anything at all, the

child also becomes completely unafraid and calm during any experience

of this nature. i have seen mothers become unglued at the slightest

accident their child has and that child invariably picks that up and

carries it further into delving into fear. Fear that is expressed and

catered to precedes the child following the mother's lead.

 

 

LoveAlways,

 

Mazie