Adventures at Rasa Ranch #1

[Guest guest]

6/5/02 "Bad Thoughts"

 

I was cleaning up the remains of the old goatshed that Jim tore down

by collecting debris for the burn pile. Ananda, four and a half, was

excited to help me out but when she saw how messy it was going to be

and how she was going to have to jump in the shower with me

afterwards she decided to do something else. Meanwhile, Jim was out

and around with the big mower going.

 

I got a load into the cart and made my way across the property to the

burn pile. While emptying it I heard the mower shut off. When I was

through I headed back toward the house where I saw Ananda crying on

Jim's knee. As I approached he said, "Someone's been missing you,

Mommy." Ananda came over to me. I had already noted on my walk

toward them that while she did have tears, her cry was not the kind

that makes me want to leap off of a cliff to save her.

 

In a sad voice she told me that she had gone to where I was working in

order to find me and then discovered I was no longer there. Then, she

said, she cried really, really hard! I asked her if the crying made

her feel better. She said no. Then I asked her if the crying helped

her to find me. To that she also said no. I remarked, "It just

didn't work, did it?" and she agreed that no, bursting out into tears

didn't help her at all.

 

After a moment she started to REALLY cry, the kind that makes my heart

move, big time. She said, "Nobody wanted to be with me. That's why I

was crying." I immediately scooped her into my arms said, "Honey,

that's not true! That's just a 'bad thought'! You don't have to

believe a bad thought. They're just not true. What is true?" She

paused and then replied as if she'd heard it before, "Our love."

 

We looked into each other's eyes for a spell and then she said, "I'm

hungry." I told her if she hurried she could catch up to her daddy

who was making a snack for himself and I bet her that he would share.

She started to run off and then turned around and said, "I am having

another thought now. Plants growing." I said, "Ahh, that's a nice

thought. Do you know what else is growing?" She said, "What?" I

grinned and pointed repeatedly right at her. She giggled, saying,

"Me" and then disappeared into the house.

 

I was still squatting there at her eye level and couldn't bring myself

to move quite yet. Then the door opened a crack and she stuck her

head and arm out and waved to me. I waved back.

 

I have a lump in my throat right now.

 

Sometimes life is so sweet.

 

 

[When I came inside to type this I overheard Ananda and her dad in the

kitchen. She was telling him in a cheerful voice, "I only had a bad

thought. That's why I was crying!"]

[Guest guest]

, "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...> wrote:

> 6/5/02 "Bad Thoughts"

> [When I came inside to type this I overheard Ananda and her dad in

the kitchen. She was telling him in a cheerful voice, "I only had a

bad thought. That's why I was crying!"]

 

Oh awesome!

 

Col