caution-swim at your own risk

[Guest guest]

I know this is not the place for politics as we've neatly seperated all of

life into it's neat little compartments: read; good company should not be

threatened by such volitile subjects......

........neverthe less (unless I drop that stone) this list of things to go

wrong and to be steared clear of lest the "fake enlightenment" get you is

seemed even more absurd when compared to war and "no having fun" signs.

 

Shawn

 

 

 

------

Warning signs

 

Americans should take note: war can seriously damage your health

 

Peter Preston

Monday August 5, 2002

The Guardian

 

We are a long way from Iraq; and, indeed, from any conflict zone bar the

battle of the bulge. Skaneateles - say "Skinny Atlas" - is a tiny holiday

town perched at the head of a long, thin Finger Lake in upstate New York. "A

good place to be a kid in and a good place to retire to," says one

23-year-old who stayed, "but kind of boring for the 50 years in between."

And yet, if you want to think about Baghdad, this is the spot.

 

There's a little green park beside the water where America's calorifically

challenged pause on their way to the ice-cream shop. If they heeded their

great president, of course, they'd fight the flab that afflicts over 60% of

them and take some vigorous exercise: like - as the thermometer tops 90F - a

swim in one of the US's five cleanest lakes. But forget it.

 

The park has more awful warnings than it has trees. "Please don't feed the

ducks - attracted by handouts, ducks tend to overpopulate this area,

bringing a parasite which can cause swimmers a painful rash." Then there is

all the standard stuff. No dogs, alcohol, picnics or litter. Swim in

designated areas only between posted hours. That, though, is mere

broad-brushery. The iron gate into three roped-off areas of lake (each

barely more than the size of a squash court) gets a lot more specific.

 

No swimming allowed without lifeguards on duty (never before 1pm). Parents

and guardians are encouraged to accompany children under 10 into the water.

Enter through the gate only. Stay within the roped lines. Diving or flipping

over is prohibited. Potential swimmers "may be asked to pass a test before

going into deeper water". Properly sized US-approved life jackets "are

permitted in the shallow zone only". Present yourself to a lifeguard "for

inspection" before entering the water. Flotation devices such as masks and

snorkels not allowed. Don't swim under the rafts or lifeguard stations. No

running or horseplay. No eating, drinking or smoking in swimming areas. And

it costs you $3 a time.

 

Not surprisingly, despite the heat of the afternoon, only two kids and an

extremely senior lady have attempted this obstacle course. Three bored

lifeguards - college students working their way - sit on the steps by the

gate. A fourth - a blonde girl with calorific challenges of her own -

watches glumly from a raised seat at the end of court number two. Court

three, the one where you can't touch the bottom, is mysteriously closed

until next week.

 

The man who runs the post office boat, chugging round the lake every

delivery morning, points out a meadow by the country club and a small strand

running along the waterside. "The farmers used to let folks swim there

once," he says, "but the insurance got too expensive and they had to stop

it." Just so.

 

That which harms you may be the subject of a small-print message from the

surgeon-general. That which might actually do you some good - freely chosen

in the land of the free - has shrivelled with constant litigation, another

victim of the legal tribes hunting wins and fees in the woods where once

only Iroquois roamed.

 

Is that sensible? You may make a case in the wake of some swimming tragedy

(the same case, essentially, which bans mums with two children to watch from

using Peckham's wonderful new baths when I get home). You may plead the

general daffiness of American notices in mitigation. (The one in my room at

the last hotel said: "Please unlock door before going outside on your

deck.") But it's still rather sad. So much clean, cool water - 34 miles on a

round trip - and so little chance of getting your feet wet.

 

That, however, isn't quite the whole of the park; for, carefully tended down

to the right, there's a war memorial, two plaques facing each other across a

sculpted space of silence. One remembers the boys from Skaneateles who

fought in the "great war". Count: there were 200 of them. The other

remembers the fighters against Germans and Japanese. Count 541 of them.

 

How, in the brooding summer of 2002, do you put this park - this mixed patch

of duty and officiousness, of courage and bureaucratic quavering - together

and make sense of the whole? To the left, the only risk you're allowed to

take is stuffing your face with a chocolate fudge ice; here, between

plaques, are hundreds of men, ordinary guys from the farms around, who took

the risks that twice pulled our European fat out of the fire. Post a fresh

notice. "Scoffing and sniggering prohibited." The sacrifice and the history

are too formidable. But struggle, nevertheless, over the reconcilings.

 

George W and Donald, his avuncular zealot, are beating the drums for another

war. They haven't said quite why yet. They've only just begun to add Saddam

to their al-Qaida stopping list. The evidence, such as it is, remains buried

beneath chat about "weapons of mass destruction" that the beast of Baghdad

might one day direct against Israel (which already has such weapons anyway).

Whatever became of deterrence theory?

 

But if they do ever prove their case, if there is real and present danger,

then there will be a call of duty - and we may reckon that more boys from

around the lake will volunteer to do it. Meanwhile, though, America -

including the Pentagon - is reading the signs on the left. No attacking

without due evidence. No sacrificing without good cause. No needless

slaughter, political entanglements or risky missions allowed. All secret

plans to be leaked to the New York Times in triplicate. All blood-curdling

rhetoric to be accompanied by certificates from the surgeon-general.

 

This "invasion", on current form, will soon encounter derision beyond any

lifeguarding. It is no way to prepare for or win a war. It will sink where

we cannot swim.