Dying

[Guest guest]

I was called at home tonight because my mother collapsed at work and

wasn't breathing, and they took her away in an ambulance to an ER room

in a hospital with a tube down her throat. I am unaccustomed to such

procedures, not having many relatives, and so I ask you - what do i do?

Wait? Do I carry a phone around in angst and stay off the computer? When

I become meditative I start to cry, and am out of control of my

emotions. She's 69 and that's a good long life I suppose but I'm not

ready for this. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ready for it.

What do/did other people do when their parents were dying?

all my best,

valerie

[Guest guest]

Valerie -- I hope your mom will be okay. You do whatever you need to, there

are no rules. As Mace said, be present. My mom's death turned out to be one

of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. The peace that

descended was indescribable and the ripple effects from this continue to

today. But her death was also about sitting by the phone, cleaning up messes

of all kinds, watching movies, being unable to eat, laughter, boredom,

wanting it to be over and then being horrified by that thought. In short,

her death was about life. I've been volunteering in a hospice for the last

couple of years and it is a wonder to watch how life explodes in glory among

the family and friends as well as in the dying loved one. Grief bares your

heart to the great Mystery. Love, Holly

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> I was called at home tonight because my mother collapsed at work and

> wasn't breathing, and they took her away in an ambulance to an ER

room

> in a hospital with a tube down her throat. I am unaccustomed to such

> procedures, not having many relatives, and so I ask you - what do i

do?

> Wait? Do I carry a phone around in angst and stay off the computer?

When

> I become meditative I start to cry, and am out of control of my

> emotions. She's 69 and that's a good long life I suppose but I'm not

> ready for this. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ready for

it.

> What do/did other people do when their parents were dying?

> all my best,

> valerie

 

Hi Valerie. Sweetheart you can't do anything wrong.

 

Honour how you are feeling as ok. Angst is normal in such a

situation. To try to change it or judge it as unspiritual is not

spiritual in my opinion.

 

Love,

 

Colette

[Guest guest]

v wrote:

I was called at home tonight because my

mother collapsed at work and

wasn't breathing, and they took her away in an ambulance to an

ER room

in a hospital with a tube down her throat. I am unaccustomed to

such

procedures, not having many relatives, and so I ask you - what

do i do?

Wait? Do I carry a phone around in angst and stay off the computer?

When

I become meditative I start to cry, and am out of control of my

emotions. She's 69 and that's a good long life I suppose but I'm

not

ready for this. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ready for

it.

What do/did other people do when their parents were dying?

all my best,

valerie

Just be there, and if you can't, just be there.

/join

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home

is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

 

Terms of Service.

Attachment: (image/gif) C:\WINDOWS\TEMP\nsmailBG.gif [not stored]

Attachment: (image/gif) C:\WINDOWS\TEMP\nsmailTH.gif [not stored]

[Guest guest]

Valerie -

 

My own mother gave me away as a toddler. The woman who raised me died

nearly two decades ago, yet your words brought that pain and

experience back to the present so vividly. When I received the phone

call letting me know she was gone, I felt that pain, and also an

overwhelming feeling of, and experience of, and knowledge of, Love.

What I would say to you right now, as things may hang in the balance

for you and for her is this:

 

 

Affirm Life with the very marrow of your bones...

Affirm Life with every strand of your DNA...

Affirm Life with each atom of your body...

With every proton and neutron of each atom...

Yes, and even with each quark thereof, as well.

 

Know that it is Love

that is the electromagnetic force

that binds these particles together...

Always.

 

Know that it is Love

that binds you to her...

And her to you...

Always!

 

 

 

 

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> I was called at home tonight because my mother collapsed at work and

> wasn't breathing, and they took her away in an ambulance to an ER

room

> in a hospital with a tube down her throat. I am unaccustomed to such

> procedures, not having many relatives, and so I ask you - what do i

do?

> Wait? Do I carry a phone around in angst and stay off the computer?

When

> I become meditative I start to cry, and am out of control of my

> emotions. She's 69 and that's a good long life I suppose but I'm not

> ready for this. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ready for

it.

> What do/did other people do when their parents were dying?

> all my best,

> valerie

[Guest guest]

Oh, Holly, your words are so very perfect and beautiful. Thank you.

 

Love,

Kheyala

 

 

, Hbarrett47@a... wrote:

> Valerie -- I hope your mom will be okay. You do whatever you need

to, there

> are no rules. As Mace said, be present. My mom's death turned out

to be one

> of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. The peace

that

> descended was indescribable and the ripple effects from this

continue to

> today. But her death was also about sitting by the phone, cleaning

up messes

> of all kinds, watching movies, being unable to eat, laughter,

boredom,

> wanting it to be over and then being horrified by that thought. In

short,

> her death was about life. I've been volunteering in a hospice for

the last

> couple of years and it is a wonder to watch how life explodes in

glory among

> the family and friends as well as in the dying loved one. Grief

bares your

> heart to the great Mystery. Love, Holly

[Guest guest]

Holly - they are taking the ventilator off, but she will be in the hospital

2 or more weeks. I live 800 or more miles away, so I will just be awares.

Your experience is so real and perfect - thankyou. I know death is part

of life, but my heart is not ready to embrace it yet. Funny how the very

unexpected happens like it does. I can understand how the ripples

of peace can continue, and only hope I and my mother shall be that fortunate.

love,

valerie

Hbarrett47 (AT) aol (DOT) com wrote:

Valerie -- I hope your mom will be okay.

You do whatever you need to, there

are no rules. As Mace said, be present. My mom's death

turned out to be one

of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. The

peace that

descended was indescribable and the ripple effects from this continue

to

today. But her death was also about sitting by the phone,

cleaning up messes

of all kinds, watching movies, being unable to eat, laughter, boredom,

wanting it to be over and then being horrified by that thought.

In short,

her death was about life. I've been volunteering in a hospice

for the last

couple of years and it is a wonder to watch how life explodes in

glory among

the family and friends as well as in the dying loved one.

Grief bares your

heart to the great Mystery. Love, Holly

<snip>

[Guest guest]

Colette wrote:

<snip>

Hi Valerie. Sweetheart you can't do anything wrong.

Honour how you are feeling as ok. Angst is normal in such a

situation. To try to change it or judge it as unspiritual is not

spiritual in my opinion.

Love,

Colette

<snip>

thankyou Colette - she is better today and the ventilator is coming

off - either way is spiritual, as you say and I hope I can retain dignity

in any direction the situation takes.

love,

valerie

[Guest guest]

dear know_mystery - yes affirming life is positive and I will do the best

I can.

I want you to know as I was reading your word 'electromagnetic' in

the third paragraph below,

the History Channel exactly said it, quoting Einstein on some subject.

Strange, eh?

I'm sorry for your pain.

love,

valerie

 

know_mystery wrote:

Valerie -

My own mother gave me away as a toddler. The woman who raised me

died

nearly two decades ago, yet your words brought that pain and

experience back to the present so vividly. When I received the

phone

call letting me know she was gone, I felt that pain, and also an

overwhelming feeling of, and experience of, and knowledge of, Love.

What I would say to you right now, as things may hang in the balance

for you and for her is this:

 

Affirm Life with the very marrow of your bones...

Affirm Life with every strand of your DNA...

Affirm Life with each atom of your body...

With every proton and neutron of each atom...

Yes, and even with each quark thereof, as well.

Know that it is Love

that is the electromagnetic force

that binds these particles together...

Always.

Know that it is Love

that binds you to her...

And her to you...

Always!

<snip>

[Guest guest]

Mace Mealer wrote:

>

>

> <snip>

> Just be there, and if you can't, just be there.

 

<snip>

thankyou MM - i'll do my best.

valerie

[Guest guest]

dear eric et al -

across the street are huge gray bulging waves with white

tops. As soon as one crests, another replaces it. Unlike love it is cold

and wet and dowsing (but then, how do i know all the properties of love)?

I can relate to letting go within the scheme of things, but it takes some

practice and it still hurts.

love,

valerie

eblack101 wrote:

Dear Valerie,

If we really love someone, none of us are "ready for this". When

Buddha said "life is Dukka", or pain, this is what he was refering

to.

It may not seem comforting at this traumatic time, to say that if

you

love in an extreme clinging way, you will meet your friend or lover

again, and back here in a life not unlike the one that we are

currently living.

I would say, celebrate your love in your heart and release it. That

may seem impossible to you at this time. If so, tuck this thought

in

the back of your mind for when you can better appreciate it's value.

We have all lost great love. And here we are. Better to enjoy it,

appreciate that we've had it, and look forward to the end of our

separation from the great love that invisibly surrounds us.

I say this as your friend,

eric

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> I was called at home tonight because my mother collapsed at work

and

> wasn't breathing, and they took her away in an ambulance to an

ER

room

> in a hospital with a tube down her throat. I am unaccustomed

to such

> procedures, not having many relatives, and so I ask you - what

do i

do?

> Wait? Do I carry a phone around in angst and stay off the computer?

When

> I become meditative I start to cry, and am out of control of

my

> emotions. She's 69 and that's a good long life I suppose but

I'm not

> ready for this. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ready

for

it.

> What do/did other people do when their parents were dying?

> all my best,

> valerie

/join

 

All paths go somewhere. No path goes nowhere. Paths, places, sights,

perceptions, and indeed all experiences arise from and exist in and subside

back into the Space of Awareness. Like waves rising are not different than

the ocean, all things arising from Awareness are of the nature of Awareness.

Awareness does not come and go but is always Present. It is Home. Home

is where the Heart Is. Jnanis know the Heart to be the Finality of Eternal

Being. A true devotee relishes in the Truth of Self-Knowledge, spontaneously

arising from within into It Self. Welcome all to a.

 

Terms of Service.

[Guest guest]

Bless your soul and bless your mother David.

love,

valerie

 

David Hodges wrote:

I came back from a hard weekend to find this

thread and I found it comforting.

On Friday my mother was taken to the emergency room with afbirillation,

extreme dehydration, and a raging staph infection. She has been sick since

March and in the hospital several times before this. Each time we think

it is the end but somehow she pulls through though she is getting weaker

and weaker.

I stayed with my mother Friday night, all day yesterday, and today.

One of my sisters came up from Maryland (I am in Connecticut) to relieve

me so I am back home now for the evening. They have gotten my Mom's heart

rate under control and she is doing better.

She is a religious person and I found that reading the Bible to her

(from Psalms) would always calm her right down. I too find that being present

is the only thing one can do. There are amazing moments when the presence

of love is palpable. Also moments of fear and sorrow. And moments of wiping

her chin or stroking her forehead. Yes, there are times of wanting it to

be over and feeling sorry for oneself too. But overall it is indeed a privilege

to be with one who is dying and to be able to tap into the spiritual energy

and love that is released is precious.

Love,

David

Holly wrote:

Valerie -- I hope your mom will

be okay. You do whatever you need to, there

are no rules. As Mace said, be present. My mom's death

turned out to be one

of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. The

peace that

descended was indescribable and the ripple effects from this continue

to

today. But her death was also about sitting by the phone,

cleaning up messes

of all kinds, watching movies, being unable to eat, laughter, boredom,

wanting it to be over and then being horrified by that thought.

In short,

her death was about life. I've been volunteering in a hospice

for the last

couple of years and it is a wonder to watch how life explodes in

glory among

the family and friends as well as in the dying loved one.

Grief bares your

heart to the great Mystery. Love, Holly

[Guest guest]

Dear Valerie,

 

If we really love someone, none of us are "ready for this". When

Buddha said "life is Dukka", or pain, this is what he was refering to.

 

It may not seem comforting at this traumatic time, to say that if you

love in an extreme clinging way, you will meet your friend or lover

again, and back here in a life not unlike the one that we are

currently living.

 

I would say, celebrate your love in your heart and release it. That

may seem impossible to you at this time. If so, tuck this thought in

the back of your mind for when you can better appreciate it's value.

 

We have all lost great love. And here we are. Better to enjoy it,

appreciate that we've had it, and look forward to the end of our

separation from the great love that invisibly surrounds us.

 

I say this as your friend,

eric

 

 

 

 

 

 

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> I was called at home tonight because my mother collapsed at work and

> wasn't breathing, and they took her away in an ambulance to an ER

room

> in a hospital with a tube down her throat. I am unaccustomed to such

> procedures, not having many relatives, and so I ask you - what do i

do?

> Wait? Do I carry a phone around in angst and stay off the computer?

When

> I become meditative I start to cry, and am out of control of my

> emotions. She's 69 and that's a good long life I suppose but I'm not

> ready for this. Anything could happen and I wouldn't be ready for

it.

> What do/did other people do when their parents were dying?

> all my best,

> valerie

[Guest guest]

I came back from a hard weekend to find this thread and I found it

comforting.

On Friday my mother was taken to the emergency room with afbirillation,

extreme dehydration, and a raging staph infection. She has been sick

since March and in the hospital several times before this. Each time we

think it is the end but somehow she pulls through though she is getting

weaker and weaker.

I stayed with my mother Friday night, all day yesterday, and today. One

of my sisters came up from Maryland (I am in Connecticut) to relieve me

so I am back home now for the evening. They have gotten my Mom's heart

rate under control and she is doing better.

She is a religious person and I found that reading the Bible to her (from

Psalms) would always calm her right down. I too find that being present

is the only thing one can do. There are amazing moments when the presence

of love is palpable. Also moments of fear and sorrow. And moments of

wiping her chin or stroking her forehead. Yes, there are times of wanting

it to be over and feeling sorry for oneself too. But overall it is indeed

a privilege to be with one who is dying and to be able to tap into the

spiritual energy and love that is released is precious.

Love,

David

Holly wrote:

Valerie -- I hope your mom will

be okay. You do whatever you need to, there

are no rules. As Mace said, be present. My mom's death turned

out to be one

of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. The peace

that

descended was indescribable and the ripple effects from this continue to

today. But her death was also about sitting by the phone, cleaning

up messes

of all kinds, watching movies, being unable to eat, laughter, boredom,

wanting it to be over and then being horrified by that thought. In

short,

her death was about life. I've been volunteering in a hospice for

the last

couple of years and it is a wonder to watch how life explodes in glory

among

the family and friends as well as in the dying loved one. Grief

bares your

heart to the great Mystery. Love, Holly

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

>

> thankyou Colette - she is better today and the ventilator is coming

off

> - either way is spiritual, as you say and I hope I can retain

dignity in

> any direction the situation takes.

 

That is good news.

 

It surely is trying Valerie when a loved one goes. I found that for

me, communication did not cease with my mother.

 

Col

> love,

> valerie

[Guest guest]

, v <amused@p...> wrote:

> dear know_mystery - yes affirming life is positive and I will do the

> best I can.

> I want you to know as I was reading your word 'electromagnetic' in

the

> third paragraph below,

> the History Channel exactly said it, quoting Einstein on some

subject.

> Strange, eh?

 

 

Dear Valerie -

 

And wondrous, too, in it's own little way. Thanks for sharing that

moment with me. There is more that is electromagnetic and imbued with

love in the world than we sometimes realize.

>

> I'm sorry for your pain.

 

And I, for yours! Thank you for your kindness. I am concerned more,

however, for you and your mother, and will keep those life affirming

vibes running round the clock for you both.

>

> love,

> valerie

>

>

> know_mystery wrote:

>

> > Valerie -

> > Affirm Life with the very marrow of your bones...

> > Affirm Life with every strand of your DNA...

> > Affirm Life with each atom of your body...

> > With every proton and neutron of each atom...

> > Yes, and even with each quark thereof, as well.

> >

> > Know that it is Love

> > that is the electromagnetic force

> > that binds these particles together...

> > Always.

> >

> > Know that it is Love

> > that binds you to her...

> > And her to you...

> > Always!

>

> <snip>