Adventures at Rasa Ranch #50

[Guest guest]

9/18/02 "Challenges"

 

Yesterday, while I was reaching back around myself to fasten the belt

for my water bottle, Zachary rolled out of the sling I was wearing.

I had forgotten that I had him with his head sticking out (and he is

all head these days), and although I was able to break his fall once

or twice I was not able to stop him from landing on the pavement.

Ugh. It took a moment or two for his little brain to register the

event and by the time he let out the purest, sweetest cry you can

imagine, he was already in my arms and as soon as he was held close

and nursing he was fine. He fell asleep and, while paying particular

attention to his breathing, I gave him a thorough once-over and found

him with no bump or mark except for a dusty scuff on his diaper.

 

It was only then that I became mortified.

 

Ananda, who had been waiting patiently on her bike with her helmet on,

was ready to go. My mind had started reeling, but even so, I found

myself getting the water bottle on and the baby situated. Should I

go to the hospital? What about those soft spots? How will I know if

he is brain-damaged? The next thing I knew, with Baby on my shoulder,

I was walking along beside my peddling buddy and we were on our way

down the road.

 

It didn't take too long before I realized I was not enjoying myself

and that I was not paying attention to Ananda, who was really needing

me to, right then. That recognition, along with a state of mind that

might sound something like, "Okay, so what do I do?" brought clarity,

instantly, in the form of a lucid thought: if I was supposed to be on

my way to the hospital, then that's exactly where I would be. Simple

as that.

 

It sure can be a challenge to trust wisdom and relax when it seems as

if all of my cells want to scramble into chaotic anxiety!