Dear Wim

[Guest guest]

I shared your chocolate recipe with a friend who was feeling guilty

about eating chocolate:-)

 

"12 Steps for Making Mud Pie" by Wim

 

The recipe?

 

Be six years old,

You don't have to be Dutch, but it helps...

Wake up early in the morning, six o'clock is good,

Quietly - not waking anybody up, you don't want to share -

Quietly... get the butter dish (boter vloot).

Make sure it is European style butter,

Unsalted, cultured, not cold and hard,

(I did not have to worry about that,

in Holland we hate salted cold butter.

Hell, we did not even have a fridge.)

Get some neon-white icing sugar,

Make sure you are not politically correct, diet-wise,

(You are six years old, so what's the problem?)

Take a wooden bread board,

(That is stupid because it is hard to wipe off the evidence.

But hey, you are only six.)

Get the 'Droste' cacao tin hidden away on the top shelf,

It is the one with the nurse or nun picture on the tin.

(Meaning this is healthy, as well as good for your soul.)

Try not to be easy on the quantities, that won't work.

Mix all the ingredients messily with a knife.

Why a knife?

Because!

Keep tasting it until you have it right,

The longer it takes the better,

Wipe your face with your flannel pyjama sleeve,

While you are at it, wipe your nose as well.

Get a crusty bun, break it open messily,

Leave plenty of crumbs behind,

Your mom will need them as evidence.

Fill the bun with your concoction,

Take it tippy-toeingly to your bed,

Hide under the covers and eat,

Eat with smacking lips.

(Dutch: Eet smakelijk!)

Make sure you leave some crumbs on your bed sheet,

Your mom will need them as evidence as well.

Also next night, those crumbs will make you feel uncomfortable

as they'll give you those stingy scratches of guilt.

 

The wrath of your mom will be upon you.

 

:-( )>:

 

 

That is what you think.

You don't know that she knipogend (English: winkingly)

smiles at your dad who understands.

They are secretly fond of you.

Too bad you only found out later...

 

You learned one lesson

 

Next time you'll let your brother have a bite

hoping that he will not tell on you.

 

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