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Adventures at Rasa Ranch #80

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11/19/02 "Resolve"

 

For the past couple of months Ananda and her dad have been sleeping in

her room, leaving me and Baby Zack in the other one. This was

Ananda's idea and it has really been a perfect set-up for a smooth

adjustment in having a newborn in the house. Each of us gets much

more rest this way and we are all that much happier to see each other

in the morning!

 

Occasionally Ananda will come to me at night and want to be held, and

if I can get my arms free, she slides right in. Last night, though,

while the baby sleeping, I was awake and doing some writing in my

favorite chair. Ananda climbed into the bed next to Zack, lifted her

head slightly and turning it to me she asked, "Mommy, will you hold me

in my seep?" "I sure will," I answered, and then almost as soon as

her head came back down, she was out.

 

It was so quiet in the house last night, and finally my mind, which

had been all stirred up regarding the best way to resolve issues with

my mother, was quiet too. I pulled the chain on the little light by

my chair, got up, and wedged myself in between the children. I

couldn't believe how big Ananda's body felt against mine. "When did

that happen?" I wondered, and I kissed her temple, stroked her hair,

and then held her tight.

 

I can feel a lump in my throat right now, and there are tears in my

eyes. I really, really, love these children. I cannot allow them to

be hurt if I can help it, so somehow I am going to have to communicate

something very serious to my mother, and I pray with all of my heart

to be able to do it with love.

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, "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...> wrote:

>I am going to have to communicate something very serious to my mother

 

Who is the "I" who is going to have to do that?

Assuming communication with the mother:

Who is the "mother" being to be communicated with...

. the mother of the past?

. the mother who arrives?

. the mother who develops after meeting the children?

. the Mother Divine?

Who is the "child" that can be hurt?

 

Perhaps the serious communications will come from Ananda, and a child

which cannot speak yet.

 

Perhaps the Absolute has a different scenario than the one envisioned.

 

Perhaps....

 

Namaste,

John L.

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, "John Logan" <johnrloganis> wrote:

> , "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...> wrote:

> >I am going to have to communicate something very serious to my

mother

>

> Who is the "I" who is going to have to do that?

> Assuming communication with the mother:

> Who is the "mother" being to be communicated with...

> . the mother of the past?

> . the mother who arrives?

> . the mother who develops after meeting the children?

> . the Mother Divine?

> Who is the "child" that can be hurt?

>

> Perhaps the serious communications will come from Ananda, and a

child

> which cannot speak yet.

>

> Perhaps the Absolute has a different scenario than the one

envisioned.

>

> Perhaps....

>

> Namaste,

> John L.

 

 

Dear John,

 

I am all too familiar with the spiritual principles that you speak

of. The challenge for me, however, is in living moment by moment in

the Freedom that they all point to.

 

Perpetuating a relationship that has caused me nothing but pain is

NOT an expression of a free life.

 

Would I want to teach my children anything else?

 

Sincerely,

Kheyala

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