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About my Mom/Mind

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November 22, 2002

 

Dear Friends,

 

My last several posts have triggered a big response. Everybody has a

mind with a mother in it and a grandmother, and lots of you have

children too. Pretty touchy stuff.

 

For all who question it, I did the right thing. There was serious

abuse going on here and Ananda was getting it too. It wasn't as

obvious as sexual or physical abuse, but the effects were equally

devastating. This is not an exaggeration. I would have fully

acknowledged it long ago if it wasn't for the (also inherited)

rose-colored glasses that I didn't even know I was wearing.

 

Here are some words that came to me in the middle of the night:

 

I don't blame my mother (a.k.a. my mind) any more than I would a bull

in a china shop. But I happen to run a china shop and I'll be damned

if I'm going to continue to hang a pretty, red flag over my door just

because generations of bulls handed it down to me!

 

By the way, every attempt at reasoning with or hiding from the bull

had had a zero effect.

 

Now it is simply a matter of sweeping up the remaing shards in my

shop. And let me tell you, my hands are bleeding...but I am grateful

for every single drop.

 

Love to Everyone,

 

Kheyala

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