Adventures at Rasa Ranch #97

[Guest guest]

12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

 

It was a little more than a year ago that a very skilled gynocologist

got my biopsy results back from the pathology lab and told me that if

I did not have surgery very soon, I would have an invasive and

aggressive cancer to reckon with. He had asked me if I had planned

on having more children.

 

Because my relationship with Jim was not strong at that time and we

had distanced ourselves both physically and otherwise from most

everyone we knew, I was feeling very much alone in our little house

in the woods. I didn't know what to do, and I got really scared and

I cried and cried. It felt like Death had tapped me on the shoulder

and then beckoned me with a raised finger to follow.

 

Somehow, my perception of this invitation from Death transformed

itself into an invitation from Life. I accepted it with all my

heart, mind, and soul. Jim and I fell in love all over again and we

expressed that physically with each other for the first time since

Ananda's arrival. I was scheduled for the surgery a short time after

that, but woke up abruptly in the middle of the night with a very

strong command from inside me saying, "No! Do not go through with

this!" Since the doctor had told me that there was no other option

for me, I was in a quandary. Who should I trust? I decided to trust

myself.

 

I got out of bed and turned on the computer and came across an

alternative therapy that just said "yes" all over it. I was staring

at the screen with tears running down my face when Jim came in to see

what I was doing awake. Even he was moved to tears (an extremely rare

event). He supported my choice completely. I immediately sent a fax

to the doctor, telling him to cancel my surgery. The actual

tear-stained letter said, "This night/morning I am so happy and

excited I can't sleep or wait until Monday to send this to you. I

have stumbled on an alternative therapy and I am going to GO FOR

IT!!" I gave him the website that I'd found and ended the letter by

saying, "You may be skeptical, but I don't care. I have to trust my

heart." It was a magical moment.

[Guest guest]

, "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...> wrote:

> 12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

 

Adventures at Rasa Ranch #97

 

 

12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

It was a little more than a year ago that a very skilled gynocologist

got my biopsy results back from the pathology lab and told me that if

I did not have surgery very soon, I would have an invasive and

aggressive cancer to reckon with. He had asked me if I had planned on

having more children.

Because my relationship with Jim was not strong at that time and we

had distanced ourselves both physically and otherwise from most

everyone we knew, I was feeling very much alone in our little house

in the woods. I didn't know what to do, and I got really scared and I

cried and cried. It felt like Death had tapped me on the shoulder and

then beckoned me with a raised finger to follow.

Somehow, my perception of this invitation from Death transformed

itself into an invitation from Life. I accepted it with all my heart,

mind, and soul. Jim and I fell in love all over again and we

expressed that physically with each other for the first time since

Ananda's arrival. I was scheduled for the surgery a short time after

that, but woke up abruptly in the middle of the night with a very

strong command from inside me saying, "No! Do not go through with

this!" Since the doctor had told me that there was no other option

for me, I was in a quandary. Who should I trust? I decided to trust

myself.

I got out of bed and turned on the computer and came across an

alternative therapy that just said "yes" all over it. I was staring

at the screen with tears running down my face when Jim came in to see

what I was doing awake. Even he was moved to tears (an extremely rare

event). He supported my choice completely. I immediately sent a fax

to the doctor, telling him to cancel my surgery. The actual tear-

stained letter said, "This night/morning I am so happy and excited I

can't sleep or wait until Monday to send this to you. I have stumbled

on an alternative therapy and I am going to GO FOR IT!!" I gave him

the website that I'd found and ended the letter by saying, "You may

be skeptical, but I don't care. I have to trust my heart." It was a

magical moment.

 

Dearest, Beloved Kheyala,

 

i have read what you have so open-heartedly shared, unable for two

days to respond, so moved was i by what was exchanged. Can a Heart

ever know more broken-heartedness and surrender into the Love that

you have given me? i think not my friend. i have wept and laughed and

i have danced on both our graves until that anonymous golden, that

yellow leaf disappeared into the night, into the wind of time and i

know that the Heart that moves through your words, and the Heart that

moves the words that come through b and i, well, they are the same

Voice and Sound, and Beloved, Beloved Kheyala, i am done and done in

you, burnt beyond anything even i, I, who take devilish poetry notes

every moment and without a chance in hell to stop this, i fall at

your feet and cry to God to allow me to endure Your Beauty, Now, this

moment and Beloved Kheyala, i so cannot speak what this Heart is

singing, and Beloved Kheyala, i know who, i KNOW Who You Are...

 

Can we ever bear this Beauty?

 

LoveAlways,

 

Mazie

[Guest guest]

Mazie and Kheyala and b -

 

Oh, my heart sings the song of all of yours, it's clock keeps time

measuring the seconds of the universe as if there is no such thing as

time and space and reason. The love that you all share with us as One

beyond buring into creation of infinity - ah such love of the

beloved! Your words take wing in my heart, and it soars to heights

unimaginable, near to breaking, but not breaking, near to bursting,

but not bursting, just growing ever and ever more to encompass the

glory of you, the Oneness of all, the grace of God, to know mystery

that is unknowable. I am in awe of you, as you so openly teach us how

to give Love, how to receive Love, how to Be Love. It is Divine. Yes

Mazie, we all can bear this Beauty, as you reveal it to us so

graciously, so gracefully, so completely. It is the Bearable Beauty

of Lightness, the Bearable Beauty of Beauty, the Bearable Beauty of

Love...

 

Yes, Be Love,

Yes, Be Loved.

Yes, Beloved!

 

love,

namaste,

joyce

 

 

 

, "mazie_l <sraddha54@h...>"

<sraddha54@h...> wrote:

> , "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...>

wrote:

> > 12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

>

> Adventures at Rasa Ranch #97

>

>

> 12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

> It was a little more than a year ago that a very skilled

gynocologist

> got my biopsy results back from the pathology lab and told me that

if

> I did not have surgery very soon, I would have an invasive and

> aggressive cancer to reckon with. He had asked me if I had planned

on

> having more children.

> Because my relationship with Jim was not strong at that time and we

> had distanced ourselves both physically and otherwise from most

> everyone we knew, I was feeling very much alone in our little house

> in the woods. I didn't know what to do, and I got really scared and

I

> cried and cried. It felt like Death had tapped me on the shoulder

and

> then beckoned me with a raised finger to follow.

> Somehow, my perception of this invitation from Death transformed

> itself into an invitation from Life. I accepted it with all my

heart,

> mind, and soul. Jim and I fell in love all over again and we

> expressed that physically with each other for the first time since

> Ananda's arrival. I was scheduled for the surgery a short time

after

> that, but woke up abruptly in the middle of the night with a very

> strong command from inside me saying, "No! Do not go through with

> this!" Since the doctor had told me that there was no other option

> for me, I was in a quandary. Who should I trust? I decided to trust

> myself.

> I got out of bed and turned on the computer and came across an

> alternative therapy that just said "yes" all over it. I was staring

> at the screen with tears running down my face when Jim came in to

see

> what I was doing awake. Even he was moved to tears (an extremely

rare

> event). He supported my choice completely. I immediately sent a fax

> to the doctor, telling him to cancel my surgery. The actual tear-

> stained letter said, "This night/morning I am so happy and excited

I

> can't sleep or wait until Monday to send this to you. I have

stumbled

> on an alternative therapy and I am going to GO FOR IT!!" I gave him

> the website that I'd found and ended the letter by saying, "You may

> be skeptical, but I don't care. I have to trust my heart." It was a

> magical moment.

>

> Dearest, Beloved Kheyala,

>

> i have read what you have so open-heartedly shared, unable for two

> days to respond, so moved was i by what was exchanged. Can a Heart

> ever know more broken-heartedness and surrender into the Love that

> you have given me? i think not my friend. i have wept and laughed

and

> i have danced on both our graves until that anonymous golden, that

> yellow leaf disappeared into the night, into the wind of time and i

> know that the Heart that moves through your words, and the Heart

that

> moves the words that come through b and i, well, they are the same

> Voice and Sound, and Beloved, Beloved Kheyala, i am done and done

in

> you, burnt beyond anything even i, I, who take devilish poetry

notes

> every moment and without a chance in hell to stop this, i fall at

> your feet and cry to God to allow me to endure Your Beauty, Now,

this

> moment and Beloved Kheyala, i so cannot speak what this Heart is

> singing, and Beloved Kheyala, i know who, i KNOW Who You Are...

>

> Can we ever bear this Beauty?

>

> LoveAlways,

>

> Mazie

[Guest guest]

, "know_mystery

<know_mystery>" <know_mystery> wrote:

 

 

Joyce my Beloved,

Beloved my Joyce,

i rejoice in opportunity

to say "namaste, namaste Joyce,

Joyce, namaste..."

choicelessly,

chosen by no chooser,

unleashed and released

to be, (WE! Joyce and Mazie!, fer God's sake!)

to be a bounty,

a bouncing booty gone boffo,

gone off-O on a godgivenupandintogodimagehead,

'cause we just gotta, and hey, say...

don't ya LOVE it -

 

yipppin' and yakkin' with friends til the end,

'bout 'vaita,

vedanta,

i want ta and oughta,

and ya just gotta give it up for God or not,

but really, truly, sincerely,

i know that you know this,

but still, REALLY, eh?

 

Ya just gotta LOVE It, n'est pas?

 

So the metaphorical,

the categorical,

the 'end all of the all' kinda endings,

aren't they all just a grace given to See?

Shoot and shucks, these yuks and yes, i guess

i profess a probable preference

to be a nameless spot in the sky,

to give up i and you and the news,

the news good or bad,

or the sad or the ecstatic,

and Joyce,

Darling-Hearted Joyce!

BELOVED!

(And yes, i am bliss hot

AND tempered in poise-ettas.)

Not "sugary-sickening-i'm-illery,"

not "don't they have a mickey-pillory,"

just and only and golden-given

arrow-driven -

 

i so ever so really do truly rejoice

in the voice of the One,

the choice of the One

that's Joyce.

 

i bow in a lilt of a Kiss that we're getting from. . . teeheehumm.

 

LoveAlways,

 

Mazie & b

 

> Mazie and Kheyala and b -

>

> Oh, my heart sings the song of all of yours, it's clock keeps time

> measuring the seconds of the universe as if there is no such thing

as

> time and space and reason. The love that you all share with us as

One

> beyond buring into creation of infinity - ah such love of the

> beloved! Your words take wing in my heart, and it soars to heights

> unimaginable, near to breaking, but not breaking, near to bursting,

> but not bursting, just growing ever and ever more to encompass the

> glory of you, the Oneness of all, the grace of God, to know mystery

> that is unknowable. I am in awe of you, as you so openly teach us

how

> to give Love, how to receive Love, how to Be Love. It is Divine.

Yes

> Mazie, we all can bear this Beauty, as you reveal it to us so

> graciously, so gracefully, so completely. It is the Bearable Beauty

> of Lightness, the Bearable Beauty of Beauty, the Bearable Beauty of

> Love...

>

> Yes, Be Love,

> Yes, Be Loved.

> Yes, Beloved!

>

> love,

> namaste,

> joyce

>

>

>

> , "mazie_l <sraddha54@h...>"

> <sraddha54@h...> wrote:

> > , "Kheyala" <kheyala@n...>

> wrote:

> > > 12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

> >

> > Adventures at Rasa Ranch #97

> >

> >

> > 12/27/02 "The Biggest Adventure (so far) - Part I"

> > It was a little more than a year ago that a very skilled

> gynocologist

> > got my biopsy results back from the pathology lab and told me

that

> if

> > I did not have surgery very soon, I would have an invasive and

> > aggressive cancer to reckon with. He had asked me if I had

planned

> on

> > having more children.

> > Because my relationship with Jim was not strong at that time and

we

> > had distanced ourselves both physically and otherwise from most

> > everyone we knew, I was feeling very much alone in our little

house

> > in the woods. I didn't know what to do, and I got really scared

and

> I

> > cried and cried. It felt like Death had tapped me on the shoulder

> and

> > then beckoned me with a raised finger to follow.

> > Somehow, my perception of this invitation from Death transformed

> > itself into an invitation from Life. I accepted it with all my

> heart,

> > mind, and soul. Jim and I fell in love all over again and we

> > expressed that physically with each other for the first time

since

> > Ananda's arrival. I was scheduled for the surgery a short time

> after

> > that, but woke up abruptly in the middle of the night with a very

> > strong command from inside me saying, "No! Do not go through with

> > this!" Since the doctor had told me that there was no other

option

> > for me, I was in a quandary. Who should I trust? I decided to

trust

> > myself.

> > I got out of bed and turned on the computer and came across an

> > alternative therapy that just said "yes" all over it. I was

staring

> > at the screen with tears running down my face when Jim came in to

> see

> > what I was doing awake. Even he was moved to tears (an extremely

> rare

> > event). He supported my choice completely. I immediately sent a

fax

> > to the doctor, telling him to cancel my surgery. The actual tear-

> > stained letter said, "This night/morning I am so happy and

excited

> I

> > can't sleep or wait until Monday to send this to you. I have

> stumbled

> > on an alternative therapy and I am going to GO FOR IT!!" I gave

him

> > the website that I'd found and ended the letter by saying, "You

may

> > be skeptical, but I don't care. I have to trust my heart." It was

a

> > magical moment.

> >

> > Dearest, Beloved Kheyala,

> >

> > i have read what you have so open-heartedly shared, unable for

two

> > days to respond, so moved was i by what was exchanged. Can a

Heart

> > ever know more broken-heartedness and surrender into the Love

that

> > you have given me? i think not my friend. i have wept and laughed

> and

> > i have danced on both our graves until that anonymous golden,

that

> > yellow leaf disappeared into the night, into the wind of time and

i

> > know that the Heart that moves through your words, and the Heart

> that

> > moves the words that come through b and i, well, they are the

same

> > Voice and Sound, and Beloved, Beloved Kheyala, i am done and done

> in

> > you, burnt beyond anything even i, I, who take devilish poetry

> notes

> > every moment and without a chance in hell to stop this, i fall at

> > your feet and cry to God to allow me to endure Your Beauty, Now,

> this

> > moment and Beloved Kheyala, i so cannot speak what this Heart is

> > singing, and Beloved Kheyala, i know who, i KNOW Who You Are...

> >

> > Can we ever bear this Beauty?

> >

> > LoveAlways,

> >

> > Mazie