everywhere we are awake!

[Guest guest]

apologizing for length feel free to skip

everywhere we are awake! well today i am in awe

i have realized that i've been fed an even bigger lie than i ever imagined

a lie of ommision

the information i found never told me

how many are awake

even recently it seemed still that in every direction

it was mainly the spiritual superstars who get mentioned

dear buddha dear jesus dear dalai lama and in more hidden places

dear ramana and others oh so many dear others

and yes the whole next level and level and level below that

but

what happened?

everywhere we are awake! in every direction

the songs the words the signs the birds the colors the wind

why is this not news?

how can this not be announced

the myth is dead

holiness is not lifetimes or heavens away

there is no path

god is held back no more

god is here alive now living presence

yikes that sounds awfully christian somehow

preachy

hmmmmm

maybe i just didn't like the announcements

but my first experience was when i was so little

no one told me this then

my next ones came flooding through teenagehood

no one told me then this was ok

well the opposite i used to scare people by knowing things

i'm sure in fact there was a lot of talk about stuff being of the devil

about heretics and god was dead anyhow stuff like that

as a young adult knowing things didn't improve

when i was 20 i was sharing with a group

how i felt certain we could all wake up

couldn't they feel this was all a dream

and i said here watch i'll just say wake up

and it will all be over and i was ready

and the first man burst into tears and begged me not to say it

pleading he wasn't ready

it took me awhile to calm them promising i would never say it

and then later i felt alone so alone

i would get scared

but i'd fall in love with god even deeper

and i'd feel even more different

why didn't i see all this awakeness then

i would have periods where everything was filled with light

i had revelations where i felt a shining light in my heart purity untouched

knowing nothing had ever happened to me inside

then i would get confused by the hate and violence out there

ok there were the deep depressions too

then i would tap in again to inspiration

i admit i did see god in many places

early deepak's words, a course in miracles, zen buddism,

so many authors, the ocean, waterfalls, rivers, stones

and at times in the flow i could speak on more levels than this

and it would come through my art

and it would come through the love i would feel when healing others

when pleading for others to choose to live

but i would begin to doubt

i didn't know how to fully surrender to the fear

i thought one was supposed to rise above the negative feelings

not fall into them deeply

deeper and then even deeper

and now i am even more uncertain

as i look around i don't know this place at all

it appears full of suffering and there is this paradox

at the same time this light is everywhere

how does this secret remain secret?

why do millions go to these structures churches temples without declaring

turn turn look no longer to the past put down your books

look into the eyes of your brothers and sisters

we are here this love is here the light and love you are seeking is here

the goodness is here everything we need it is here

peace is here! turn please just recognize it see it see us see each other

what an odd game

becoming freer

free

and now the world i thought needed freeing is populated with beings of light

i always saw light in people but not this knowing

this recognition of "awakeness" in so many

yet it is not everywhere

is that just me?

is everyone fully awake?

mind says with great certainty yes because that sounds right should get a gold star for good answer

myself

i don't know

the meaning begins to break through

the form filled dimension cannot hold the meaning back

cannot suppress the truth

it comes through the cracks in everything

the final crack was not only in me

it pierced every piece

the light radiates through

all is holy holy holy ground

again again and again

i see not only did i not recognize you god

and not only did i not recognize me god

i did not recognize you in everyone god

i greeted the god within all but not

not at this depth

falling into your eyes now

all your eyes

sweet god

how patiently you have waited in all my brothers and sisters

what game i have been playing putting each on different levels

according worth and value trying to determine where lies more grace more pain

judgements as to where the best pointers to you lay

this makes everyone brighter than i can bear

god dear god your face i imagined to be so unbearably beautiful i was afraid to gaze

(though sometimes i would feel a look)

(oh this makes me smile, you are so bright, you smile too, how irreverent to look!)

and now it has been you all along

what confused me?

what blinded me?

how could i not recognize thee

what is this power in form to distract?

it is as if i can only look from my heart now and there lie my true eyes

i don't know what the ramifications of this are if all are awake

what then could be more sacred from one to the other?

why is my statue of buddha more appealing then my microwave?

why would i rather put on a tape of gangaji than listen to the news channel?

why then still this aspect of looking for clearer space?

why do i close my eyes in silent recognition falling in joy no words

when eckhart closes his eyes too

yet falter when a friend discusses xmas decorations bought on sale?

why do i long to hear others speak of this joy this this...what ever this is

why do i love reading the spiritual posts as opposed to the newpaper?

why did i gaze into eyes today of some i met at satsang a few months ago

and we were wordless happy

i don't know

what is true josie

that i feel that i am called

this calling vibrates ever deeper inside

i feel light emanating now brighter

i am less afraid to shine

perhaps a lie

more so i cannot hide who i am

and who i am in love with

i'm with you

and i cannot keep from moving ever closer to you

and i am trusting this calling that directs me

it is you that shows me with light each next step to be taken

each holy step and i am guided to

each sacred choice and as i listen i become

deeper in you my love

and you deepen me

what can i say i know there is no me

just this sacred space you have always filled

i adore you

thank you

 

still wondering why i didn't know

that there are so many awake

 

josie

[Guest guest]

Holly