making fire

[Guest guest]

There was a man who invented the art

of making fire. He took his tools and went to a tribe in the north, where

it was very cold, bitterly cold. He taught the people there to make

fire. The people were very interested. He showed them the uses to which

they could put fire -- they could cook, could keep themselves warm,

etc. They were so grateful that they had learned the art of making

fire. But before they could express their gratitude to the man, he

disappeared. He wasn't concerned with getting their recognition or

gratitude; he was concerned about their well being. He went to another

tribe, where he again began to show them the value of his

invention. People were interested there, too, a bit too interested for the

peace of mind of their priests, who began to notice that this man was

drawing crowds and they were losing their popularity. So they decided to

do away with him. They poisoned him, crucified him, put it any way you

like. But they were afraid now that the people might turn against them, so

they were very wise, even wily. Do you know what they did? They had a

portrait of the man made and mounted it on the main altar of the

temple. The instruments for making fire were placed in front of the

portrait, and the people were taught to revere the portrait and to pay

reverence to the instruments of fire, which they dutifully did for

centuries. The veneration and the worship went on, but there was no fire.

 

Where's the fire? Where's the love? Where's the drug uprooted from your

system? Where's the freedom? This is what spirituality is all

about. Tragically, we tend to lose sight of this, don't we? This is what

Jesus Christ is all about. But we overemphasized the "Lord, Lord," didn't

we? Where's the fire? And if worship isn't leading to the fire, if

adoration isn't leading to love, if the liturgy isn't leading to a clearer

perception of reality, if God isn't leading to life, of what use is

religion except to create more division, more fanaticism, more

antagonism? It is not from lack of religion in the ordinary sense of the

word that the world is suffering, it is from lack of love, lack of

awareness. And love is generated through awareness and through no other

way, no other way. Understand the obstructions you are putting in the way

of love, freedom, and happiness and they will drop. Turn on the light of

awareness and the darkness will disappear. Happiness is not something you

acquire; love is not something you produce; love is not something that you

have; love is something that has you. You do not have the wind, the stars,

and the rain. You don't possess these things; you surrender to them. And

surrender occurs when you are aware of your illusions, when you are aware

of your addictions, when you are aware of your desires and fears. As I

told you earlier, first, psychological insight is a great help, not

analysis, however; analysis is paralysis. Insight is not necessarily

analysis. One of your great American therapists put it very well: "It's

the 'Aha' experience that counts." Merely analyzing gives no help; it just

gives information. But if you could produce the "Aha" experience, that's

insight. That is change. Second, the understanding of your addiction is

important. You need time. Alas, so much time that is given to worship and

singing praise and singing songs could so fruitfully be employed in self

understanding. Community is not produced by joint liturgical

celebrations. You know deep down in your heart, and so do I, that such

celebrations only serve to paper over differences. Community is created by

understanding the blocks that we put in the way of community, by

understanding the conflicts that arise from our fears and our desires. At

that point community arises. We must always beware of making worship just

another distraction from the important business of living. And living

doesn't mean working in government, or being a big businessman, or

performing great acts of charity. That isn't living. Living is to have

dropped all the impediments and to live in the present moment with

freshness. "The birds of the air . . . they neither toil nor spin" --

that is living. I began by saying that people are asleep, dead. Dead

people running governments, dead people running big business, dead people

educating others; come alive! Worship must help this, or else it's

useless. And increasingly -- you know this and so do I -- we're losing the

youth everywhere. They hate us; they're not interested in having more

fears and more guilts laid on them. They're not interested in more sermons

and exhortations. But they are interested in learning about love. How can

I be happy? How can I live? How can I taste these marvelous things that

the mystics speak of? So that's the second thing -- understanding. Third,

don't identify. Somebody asked me as I was coming here today, "Do you ever

feel low?" Boy, do I feel low every now and then. I get my attacks. But

they don't last, they really don't. What do I do? First step: I don't

identify. Here comes a low feeling. Instead of getting tense about it,

instead of getting irritated with myself about it, I understand I'm feeling

depressed, disappointed, or whatever. Second step: I admit the feeling is

in me, not in the other person, e.g., in the person who didn't write me a

letter, not in the exterior world; it's in me. Because as long as I think

it's outside me, I feel justified in holding on to my feelings. I can't

say everybody would feel this way; in fact, only idiotic people would feel

this way, only sleeping people. Third step: I don't identify with the

feeling. "I" is not that feeling. "I" am not lonely, "I" am not

depressed, "I" am not disappointed. Disappointment is there, one watches

it. You'd be amazed how quickly it glides away. Anything you're aware of

keeps changing; clouds keep moving. As you do this, you also get all kinds

of insights into why clouds were coming in the first place.

 

Anthony de Mello, SJ